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to think it is NOT ON to sit down next to someone and start licking your arse?

(79 Posts)
TheHoneyDragonsDrunkInTheIvy Sat 15-Dec-12 22:35:18

and loudly at that

<<Glares at Hullygullypuppy>> hmm

TheHoneyDragonsDrunkInTheIvy Sat 15-Dec-12 22:36:24

I don't like hmm with the hat.

It doesn't look humphy enough with the hat.

InExitCelsisDeo Sat 15-Dec-12 22:36:45

Or to sit down, stare at someone, and then fart,

<stares at Bastarddog>

WelshMaenad Sat 15-Dec-12 22:39:09

I woke up with my kitten's anus about an inch from my eyeball this morning, y'all don't know how lucky your life is.

WorraLorraTurkey Sat 15-Dec-12 22:39:26

Haha DH just brought me a wine and the dog followed him as I opened the thread.

I called him over and said, "Oooh look, someone's started a thread about you"

And my DH looked all excited and said, "Me? How? Why?" grin

Twat....

QuickQuickSleigh Sat 15-Dec-12 22:39:49

Or to get into bed with someone and cough up a hair ball. <would stare at soddingcat but wouldn't win the stare-off>

InExitCelsisDeo Sat 15-Dec-12 22:39:55

I miss my cat's arse.

<pokes out tongue>

LeucanTheMopsis Sat 15-Dec-12 22:41:01

Nor to sit on someone's lap in order to fart closer to the nose.

TheHoneyDragonsDrunkInTheIvy Sat 15-Dec-12 22:42:55

Worra

Do you really have a wine brining dh? envy

Honestly I think it's a bit much, arse licking in company. She could've licked her arse in her own chair. But she ate it. The twat.

WelshMaenad Sat 15-Dec-12 22:43:56

She ate her own arse?

MrsChristmasVamos Sat 15-Dec-12 22:44:01

I knew this would be you, Honey. grin

My muttleys favourite thing is to jump up next you then smack you in the face. It's her idea of stroking.

If you don't respond she gets the hump and takes up the rest of the sofa and lies there groaning.

She's stopped the nuclear farts. DH has promised her a bit of 'proper' christmas dinner, anyone know where I can get 3 gas masks ?

MrsChristmasVamos Sat 15-Dec-12 22:45:28

Oh, and you know what ? It's the owner's of dogs who sit there licking their arses that then join in that really pee me off.

I'd love to be that flexible. wink

WorraLorraTurkey Sat 15-Dec-12 22:46:35

Worra

Do you really have a wine brining dh? envy

Is there any other kind?!? shock

TheHoneyDragonsDrunkInTheIvy Sat 15-Dec-12 22:48:53

No dammit. She ate the chair grin

She's hopeless. She caught a mouse today and then didn't know what to do. So she let go and looked at it and then barked at it. confused. Then, THEN whimpered and whined for 20 minutes because it had gone hmm

WorraLorraTurkey Sat 15-Dec-12 22:49:15

My dog takes arse licking to another level now he's getting a bit older.

He sounds like an asthmatic face down in a pie eating competition.

It's all... "Mmpphh, hmmpph, snort, tick tick tick, snozzle-snort" hmm

QODRestYeMerryGentlemen Sat 15-Dec-12 22:49:32

Mrs Christmas Vamos is your Mutley a cat or a dog?

We have a Mutley cat

He's a fecking useless cat, I got all the Christmas presents out today and mice have been at them !!!!!!!

He's been trying to get into the side loft ever since I got the bags out, but not before while the fuckers were eating Belgian and Milka chocolate

TheHoneyDragonsDrunkInTheIvy Sat 15-Dec-12 22:52:42

Yes. Why can the clean everywhere else quietly but the arse?

The arse cleaning is always loud and slurpy.

MalibuStac Sat 15-Dec-12 22:54:10

My dogs to fat to get to his arse anymore but he kindly waits till he's beside your face a burps so you get the full smell of dinner. So kind for sharing.

MrsChristmasVamos Sat 15-Dec-12 22:55:23

QOD

The one I was referring to is a dog. I also have another old dog, who smells cos he's old, and 3 cats. All boys, they have a bit of a bum fetish and one in particular loves to sit with his willy fully erect. Another one likes to wail at dinner time, except he's always early.

Worra

Oh, the old dog licking ! I always forget about it till I go to bed, then of course old boy decides that the perfect time to have a root about and snuffle. Not the nicest thing to try to get to sleep to.

He's just started pretending that he's going deaf too. So you have to get out of bed to give him a nudge to stop it. Cos of course DH is sparko. hmm grin

MikeOxardInTheSnow Sat 15-Dec-12 22:55:41

Worra's dh, you are welcome! grin

EverythingsDozy Sat 15-Dec-12 22:55:55

Worra you have just described the noises my dog makes perfectly. I will never forget 'asthmatic face down in a pie eating competition' grin
It is hideously disgusting <boak>

P.s. Phone is playing up, apologies if I send this 6,729,275 times.

Glitterknickaz Sat 15-Dec-12 22:57:55

It's even worse when your labs start giving each other blowies with extra loud slurps...

WorraLorraTurkey Sat 15-Dec-12 23:01:24

Yes why do they always want to root about and eat their arses in bed??

I mean the dog now...not my DH.

EverythingsDozy Sat 15-Dec-12 23:03:45

Is it just mine that, once she has finished 'cleaning' herself, she gets all strangely affectionate and wants to lick your face?!
Really?? Really, dog????

MrsChristmasVamos Sat 15-Dec-12 23:09:05

I have no idea why it's bedtime. Maybe cos it's lights out so they think you can't see them ? I'd rather watch it than hear it, to be completely honest. grin

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