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To be pissed off with school over this? Nativity show related.

(66 Posts)
bunchamunchycrunchycarrots Thu 13-Dec-12 14:40:06

DD is 7 and in P3. P1-P3 are the groups who are all involved in the nativity show, with P1 in main roles. P2/P3 usually do the narration or backing choir. P3 is split over 2 composite classes - P3/2 and P4/3. DD is in P4/3. News letter was in DD's bag on friday last week to confirm P1-P3 are involved in the nativity show, and this is a ticketed event. No note in DD's bag with option of a ticket on Friday, nor Mon/Tues/Wed. I work Tues/Wed so couldn't get into speak to office staff or teacher as I drop DD off early and then she goes to after school care. I went to the office this morning to ask about tickets as I hadn't had anything in DD's bag, and wanted to attend (DD wants me or her gran to attend, as she always wants someone to make an effort and see her, no matter how tiny her involvement is). I was told by office staff that only parents of classes 1/2/3 were offered tickets, and P4/3 were not as 'they are only in the choir'. DD is gutted. I'm pissed off - basically P3 kids, as long as they are in P3/2, get the option of having their parent attend, but parents of kids in P4/3 don't get given the choice, yet have the same role to play as P3/2.

So, AIBU to be really pissed off at this? DD was clearly upset at the thought I won't be there to see her, nor will he gran tomorrow (I wasn't even looking for 2 tickets, just one to let one of us 'show face' for DD's sake).

WeAreEternal Fri 14-Dec-12 07:56:32

I would either,
Go to the office this morning and demand a ticket, it is completely unfair that they are allowing one class's parents but not the other.
I would speak to other parents in the playground about how unfair it is, to parents and the children, and see if you can rally enough parents to form a mob and turn up at the show and demand to be let in.

You would probably get further with the first option, you could even ask to see the head and explain how upset your dd was.
I would be gutted if I couldn't have seen DS's nativity, he was 'only in the choir' but he was still great.

PorkyScratching Fri 14-Dec-12 08:01:17

Totally unfair! Our school have the same system, parts in the nativity until P3, and I would have been gutted to miss my DDs last nativity role sad

Usually I dislike the composite classes, but it did work in our faour once, usually only P4 and older have swimming lessons, but my DD got them in P3 as she was in a P4/3 class. Couldn't moan at an extra year of swimming lessons!

YANBU, thats terrible!

Why shouldn't every parent who wants to watch be given the opportunity? I went to my DDs play twice (in my defence, due to one being daytime and one being evening where you couldn't bring dcs as young as her ds, she didn't want to go to school at night alone as she was a bit nervous, she is only 5 though).

Not sure how on earth they are allowed to sideline one groups involvement over the rest.

Is you DD in a set due to SEN? If so that's even worse and total discrimination.

CwtchesAndCuddles Fri 14-Dec-12 09:18:20

That is unfair - it should be the same for all P3 parents, I would be complaining about that!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Fri 14-Dec-12 09:39:34

Did you get anywhere with the school OP?

SellotapeInMyHairExtensions Fri 14-Dec-12 09:59:34

grin Euphemia grin

bunchamunchycrunchycarrots Fri 14-Dec-12 12:00:07

Well, I'm even more confused! Update for those interested.

Got no reply to email. Picked DD up from after school care and asked her how the show went - she knew nothing about the show (which was definitely over yesterday and today). Checked the news letter from last week, and it definitely said P1-P3 doing the nativity show. No further details or clarification, and nothing to say P4/3 not involved.

Phoned the school earlier, and asked the person I spoke to yesterday if the show was on today and if so, was my DD involved. I was then told P4/3 not involved in the nativity, only the carol singing next week. No explanation as to why P4/3 excluded, given that the news letter clearly states P1-P3 (which my DD is still part of by virtue of being P3 albeit as part of a composite class).

So, I've been made to look like a complete twat, and DD (and her P3 classmates) are excluded from the nativity show which, from previous years, has always included all P3s.

My DD thought she was involved in the show as she has been part of the rehearsals (looks like it's been carol singing she's been rehearsing but that has been alonside the nativity show rehearsals). She was expecting me and her gran to come along and see her, and was disappointed that we wouldn't. It now turns out she was wrong, I was wrong, and the news letter misled us both into thinking she was involved (when clearly she isn't).


I still want to know why P4/3 have been excluded, especially as DD thought she was a part of it (clearly confused about what she has been rehearsing for) and she also wanted to be part of the show. Not sure I'll get the courtesy of a response from the HT, as she has 'form' for ignoring emails. Tried to speak to her on the phone earlier but she's 'busy'.

Go to LEA that is disgraceful, especially with the HTs ignorance on top

EuphemiaInExcelsis Fri 14-Dec-12 16:07:56

Buncha If the P3s were taken out of P4/3 for nativity rehearsals, there would have been no teacher to supervise them. Adding them to P3 would presumably make that cohort go over its legal limit, which is why there's a composite class in the first place.

I do agree that the school could have made things clearer!

nannyl Fri 14-Dec-12 16:41:11

I cant see why they would be over legal limit

I assume the rules are the same for nurserys, and the staff being in the building (but not the room) mean they are still legal even when staff are not physically present.

bunchamunchycrunchycarrots, i think you should inform the school of your confusion and ensure they clarift things more clearly in future.

it seems unfair that due to the class she was chosen to be in (i guess by the teaches) that she has missed out, (and so have you missed out on seeing her sad)

you cant change the past, but can make sure the same mistake is not made again.

AmIthatTinselly Fri 14-Dec-12 23:20:05

I just wanted to say that I am presuming that the OP is in Scotland.

For those moaning that they didn't understand the OP's post - I have read posts going on about reception, Year 3,4 etc, and also KS 1, 2 whatever, all of which are totally alien to me.

However, I managed to work out what they meant. The OP's post wasn't difficult to work out. Nae need for the negative comments.

OP - I would bypass the teacher and bring this up with the HT or their manager in the local authority. It is totally not on to discriminate. If you're P3, then you should participate.

I am bolshy though. I always go straight to the HT and whine on about equalities and inclusion and they have always accommodated me.

And I am sure there are peripatetic music teachers and some classroom assistants around that could get around the supervision ratio issue.

roughtyping Sun 16-Dec-12 08:29:34

Well said Tinselly.

YouCanBe Sun 16-Dec-12 08:43:45

(Yes I understood it, it wasn't even slightly challenging.)

I think they have been unfair too. What a shame they didn't think it through properly.

FannyFifer Sun 16-Dec-12 08:45:49

Sounds exactly like DS school, he is also in p4/3.
I viewed missing the nativity as a lucky escape, other folks kids, yawn!

Will prob go to the carol service during the week though.

SunflowersSmile Sun 16-Dec-12 08:51:32

Sounds like the school needs to communicate better with parents AND children.
In fact perhaps you take up issue on those terms- poor school communication.
It is a valid reason to be cross about and the school should pull its socks up re how it conveys information.

LynetteScavo Sun 16-Dec-12 08:56:47


I have similar communication problems as I use before/after school club. I can see how something similar would happen to me.

And yes, your DD should be performing, and you should have tickets, as she is in P3.

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