AIBU and V precious about dd2 going unrecognised at school?(79 Posts)
You're not a massive twat or even a bit of one, maybe it was risky putting aibu and v precious in your thread title. Hope DD2 gets her day in the sun very soon OP.
Aww poor kid credit for her work being given to someone else.
I'd buy her a cake and celebrate at home with her and give her your sympathy for not getting recognised. Maybe mention it quietly to the teacher if you get a chance but I wouldn't make a huge deal of it.
I know it's you! Just noticing the name, where did you get that from?
Veggies eh - cant trust them.
I can imagine how pissed off I'd be if someone else was given a prize for my work! I don't think there's anything wrong with showing your DD you will stick up for her (and therefore she is allowed to stick up for herself - no reason girls should pretend to be less bright than they are just so they don't cause a fuss).
Talk to the school. If your DD is in reception and having lessons with Yr2 the chances are she's falling through the cracks when it comes to recognising her efforts. All children need to feel encouraged, regardless of ability.
I totally sympathise with you OP and its always the bright, well behaved ones who go unrecognised. I have a y3 child who is doing y6 level literacy and maths and is, as described at parents evening, "an exceptional child" yet this has never been recognised within any school reward system.
My child is very pissed off about it, especially as little joe in the corner who is a brat gets rewarded at every assembly for sitting still for 5mins. They cannot rationalise that they are doing everything asked of them and getting no recognition but behave like a toad and you get heaps of praise.
Schools piss me right off.
I know in our school the star of the week was rotated and nothing to do with who had been doing their best that week in reception. Now in Yr1 and 2 it's still evened out fairly so every dc will get it at least once but it's also more whta they are doing to earn it to.
Does your dd do any outside clubs? In my dc's school any certs/medals/badges they can bring in on a friday and get clapped in assembly along with the star of the week (1 in each class) and then the head teacher award (1 child in the whole school) which doesn't get handed about willy nilly.
my wonderful pfb got it once was so proud
Tell the teacher that 'I just had to laugh during assembly when they were holding up my DD's letter/drawing and rewarding other girl for something she didn't do. It was so funny but at the same time DD was v upset' . And let the teacher sort it out.
I agree with onebadback I have a yr2 dd and she does well tries her best and for the past few years has struggled to understand why she has 2 stars and the difficult child in the class has 30.
I also feel for the teacher who is having to use the stars to reward behaviour that should be expected- but I now put myself in the shoes of the other childs mum- anything that helps the other child modify his behaviour is a blessing! I explain to my dd when she queries it that "he needs more help behaving the way you know how to, but the teacher knows how well you are doing and you should be proud of yourself' I once considered speaking to previous teachers about lack of recognition for good work but then played them at their own game- when dd got a star I wrote in her contact book how much it had meant to her and how she was going to try extra hard to earn some more!
I have friends who are teachers and they hate the star system but my dds teacher is very fair this year and the difference is amazing- she really does have a knack of rewarding great behaviour and work- but I think she is the exception and the best we can do in future is to help our kids be self motivated by their effort and attainment!
So let me get this straight, the teacher isn't aware that someone else (your DD) did the other child's work? And the other child was rewarded on that work? And noone has told the teacher, but you're pissed off that she's not psychic?
s a teacher & a parent I think you are so wrong about bright well behaved children not getting recognition - they are always the ones that get picked for special things, get speaking roles in plays etc. It's the quiet middle of the road plodders that are more likely to get overlooked ime.
They don't rotate Star of the Week. DS is in Y1 now and hasn't got a thing since he started school. No present boxes, class certificates, nothing. He's not 'under the radar' and is doing really well in reading and maths.
<Very bitter and will be speaking to his teacher in the new year>.
30 children in a class & maybe 13 weeks of term, so more than half a class will not have got star of the week!!!
Surely the other parents would want to know that the little girl has been praised/rewarded for work that isn´t hers?
Hello TSC, was it you who gave me my best-ever laugh on MN? 'Your minge, I can see your minge!' (apols if I've remembered it wrong. Though it would be quite funny given the topic if I'd given you credit for a quip that wasn't yours!
As for the Christmas list, I totally understand how you feel, perfectly natural, we feel so much for our DC when there's an injustice like this. I'd absolutely be tempted to say something to the teacher on the lines of some of the good suggestions on here. HOWever, I do think it's one of those occasions where you might eventually feel relieved that you DIDN'T say anything. I think it might make you look a bit sour and spoilsporty, unfair though that is. I can imagine the teacher rather dismissing it but giving you a sort of mental tick on a list you don't want to be on (I could be quite wrong!) Isn't it one of those occasions you will look back on and think 'I'm glad I didn't say anything, with hindsight...phew'?
Your clever little DD2 not getting a certificate is, as you say, a different matter and I don't think it's unreasonable to gently hope aloud at some parent-teacher meeting that your DD is full of anticipation that she has worked hard and might soon be in the running, almost with a laugh - 'you know what kids are like!' - if time goes on and it looks like she really has been overlooked.
Bless her, I like the sound of her imagination - being the Christmas Elf!
"I can imagine the teacher rather dismissing it but giving you a sort of mental tick on a list you don't want to be on"
The teacher wouldn´t want to know that she gave credit to a child for work that wasn´t hers??
Noit really, it will soon be apparent what child does what. And if op hasn't seen the work im question how can she be sure that the child did not put pen to paper.
It may well have been a joint effort-in which case one getting no recognition is still shit.
I´d have to say something.
I think YANBU to mention quietly to the teacher that the work was in fact your daughters but I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.
I also wouldn't panic about the 'recognition' for your daughter, my dd's school ensure throughout the year that all children get at least 1 certificate in the year. I know this as this happened to my dd last year
I shall add though that when my dd started school she couldn't read does that put her in the 'fairly low achieving cohort' or just make me a shit parent?
Oh I'm not taking offence i was just wondering as let's face it my dd is a genius now haha kidding if she shut up for 5 minutes there might be some hope!!
I would maybe mention to the teacher that all children are not being recognised for their achievements despite how fabulous these might be, iyswim.
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