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To want to have a clumsy tantrum

(52 Posts)
Clumsyoaf Thu 13-Dec-12 14:17:10

Hi... just wanted to ask a wwyd? and would IBU....

Was invited to my lovely MIL for dinner last night - shes very thoughtful, it was my birthday, my husband is away and she knew I would be on my own. She had invited some of the family and generally made a fuss.

All was going well, left 4 year old DD on sofa with blanket whilst i went to nappy change the little one, i realised that I had left the sudocream in the change bag downstairs and heard an exchange between MIL and SIL's... I know eavesdropping always end in trouble but I have to admit I am very nosey. It appears that my SIL's are trying to persuade my MIL to "uninvite" me to xmas day dinner. Apparently the kids are too much of a hand full and it will take away the kind of xmas they want. They suggested they all come to clumsys early morning with a picnic breakfast to watch the kids open presents but leave it at that.

I am actually really really hurt by this, I have no family nearby and whilst I am meeting new people through the children i dont know anyone well enough outside the family with who i can share xmas day with. My mil sounded like she was on the verge of tears- which i feel horrible about. MIL said she will speak with me.

My SIL's although not close, are friendly enough. They always make effort on birthdays and fuss over the children... I cant think of anything that the children may have said or done to make them uninvitable...

I really can't understand why a day thats (in my opinion) all about the children means excluding mine at a family xmas day dinner. Btw, DH has a very big family, they have always come to MILand everyone chips in and its always lovely.. but my children are the youngest (my DH is the youngest of the family with a 12 year age gap between him and youngest SIL).

So, what do i do? WWYD? a part of me wants to save myself and MIL the humiliation by pulling out on my own accord... offer to come to MIL/FIL for breakfast or them come to mine but say dinner may be too much for the children. OR Do I sit it out and wait to see what is said? Or, do I raid the rainy day fund and fly out to my family and not tell any of them where I am (thats not even an option ...really ... wish it was).

I have really no one else that I can talk to ...Thanks if you have managed to stay awake this long...

Clumsyoaf Thu 13-Dec-12 21:29:49

I don't care about coffees or dogs... Maybe I do need to objectively stand back and think about how my DCs are perceived by others. For me they are my world, but they are my only source of human contact the majority of the time... I need to think about this, maybe talk to some RL friends .. I would never tell DH, where he is, what his life is ... In comparison this a storm in a plastic child's tea cup.

Clumsyoaf Thu 13-Dec-12 21:33:32

Or child's plastic even. Going to bed, the heating has broken down nice to cuddle up to the body heat of the children!

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