Advanced search

To think the lyrics of this song suggest an abusive relationship?

(48 Posts)
BlatantRedhead Thu 13-Dec-12 10:34:03

Now maybe I'm overly conscious of possible references to the issue due to abuse in previous relationships but I've thought this about this song every time I've heard it for a while now. Recently the subject came up at work so I said what I thought. I was immediately rubbished by all my colleagues who all appear to think its perfectly ordinary for a girl to think her partner is a monster and be 'scared to death' by him hmm. I pointed out these lyrics and they said she's scared to death by how in love she is. I work in a mainly female office.

Am I interpreting it wrong? It's not a big deal, its just annoyed me a bit how they all jumped to tell me it I shouldn't read abuse into it. Perhaps I am just damaged eh!

WildWorld2004 Fri 14-Dec-12 11:53:00

Iv been in abusive relationships. I also like the stoosche song. The song doesnt say that it is ok to be in an abusive relationship. It is just a song about being in love with someone who is abusive. Which happens.

squeakytoy Fri 14-Dec-12 11:52:37

I remember that song, it was a big hit in the UK too. I liked Falco anyway.

I can also think of other songs like the Nick Cave & Kylie one. (He kills her by drowning)

Delilah by Tom Jones.. (stabbing)

Papa Dont Preach - (teen sex and pregnancy)

If you want to you can find issue with many songs.. it doesnt mean that you are going to live your life or have it influenced by the words in a song though.

Even nursery rhymes had violence and murder in them..

Chandon Fri 14-Dec-12 11:35:36

Do you remeber the song Jeannie, by Falco, back in the bad old 80s?

It is a song by a man who rapes and kills a young girl.

It was on all the radio stations when I was 13. It is so menacing and scary!

Or was that song not big in the UK?

I have had doubts about Black Heart too. and even more about Rihanna's song Russian Roulette. It is quite disturbing, but then the songs are good so you hum along....

squeakytoy Fri 14-Dec-12 11:32:00

I agree with Brady and others.

The lyrics do not "normalise" anything or even suggest that it is ok.

DV does happen. Girls do get involved with the wrong men and find it difficult to escape the relationship.

The song is not going to encourage a girl to have a relationship with someone who is violent or treats them badly.

MamaMary Fri 14-Dec-12 11:26:00

Friendly, fair point - you didn't use the word innocuous.

I still disagree with you though. I strongly believe that songs like this not only normalise DV, but in many cases are actually designed to do so. Most people will not think too deeply about the lyrics in the sense of analysing poetry. They simply catch the drift, hum along and the lyrics are imbibed. They are not questioned.

I would also dispute that this kind of music be classed as 'art', though perhaps that's for another discussion.

FriendlyLadybird Fri 14-Dec-12 11:17:07

Just to say, I didn't say I thought it was 'innocuous' art. I don't think art should be innocuous: I think it should be provocative. And I think this song is -- definitely not 'normalising DV'.

BumsyClugger Thu 13-Dec-12 18:16:10

GoingBackToSchool that's how I interpreted it too.

I can remember telling my friends and mum how, yes he had hit me (they didn't know the full extent of the abuse) and yes, he said some nasty things, but it's OK, 'cause I love him and he can be nice. It reminds of that time, it is exactly how I felt. If I had heard it back then I'd have thought twice about being the fool like she is in the song IYSWIM.

In fact reading those lyrics made me cry blush

crypes Thu 13-Dec-12 18:11:09

I thought it was a bit racist. I immediately thought it was a black woman singing about a black man who was a bad'un. I thought thats a bit dusturbing .

SueFawley Thu 13-Dec-12 18:09:40

Back to the original song, I haven't heard it for several weeks but every time it came on the radio I had to turn it off. I thought the lyrics were awful.

SueFawley Thu 13-Dec-12 18:08:49

The Crystals. I've never heard that song but Phil Spector was their producer I believe. He claimed the woman he murdered hadd 'kissed the gun'.

kerstina Thu 13-Dec-12 18:00:21

I really dislike kiesha's music. The lyrics are pure rubbish promoting very loose morals!

GoingBackToSchool Thu 13-Dec-12 18:00:07

The lyrics obviously show that she knows that it's an abuse relationship. The way I see it is that she doesn't want to love him, but finds it hard not too. Something which I'm sure some people can relate to unfortunately sad

squoosh Thu 13-Dec-12 17:57:38

It reminds me of The Crystals 'He Hit Me And It Felt Like A Kiss' although that was the early 60's.

shoppingbagsundereyes Thu 13-Dec-12 17:47:06

I hate this song for they very reason. It encourages young women to think having a 'monster' for a boyfriend is sexy. I switch it off when it comes on the radio

PumpkinPositive Thu 13-Dec-12 17:36:02

It reminds me of the poem Pursuit, by Sylvia Plath. And whilst I don't like Monster, I do like Pursuit. smile

BlatantRedhead Thu 13-Dec-12 17:32:07

mamamary agree completely... Am very sad to find I'm the only one in a team full of women who sees it this way sad

ToffeeCaramel Thu 13-Dec-12 14:18:46

The lines "I love him like mad
Momma, he's the best I ever had" worry me.

MamaMary Thu 13-Dec-12 13:49:31

Yes, I worry about the writer too - they are likely vulnerable and exploited at the hands of a powerful industry that tells them women being abused by men is normal. Watch a few music videos to see how many women are being chained, tied up, have half their faces blotted out.

EnjoyResponsibly Thu 13-Dec-12 13:46:22

I've heard this "band" interviewed, not a word about personal experience in relation to the lyric.

As I hear the lyric it's all about loving a person who be it physically or emotionally is bad for you, but the bias is that because you love him that's OK.

So, if this is based on a personal experience I worry a great deal about the writer.

bradywasmyfavouritewiseman Thu 13-Dec-12 13:46:09

Songs like this normalise misogyny and domestic violence.

Not in my opinion. It brings into everyday discussion. Here we are discussing months after it came out.

MamaMary Thu 13-Dec-12 13:45:08

Again, 'dying young' is glamorised and promoted by the music industry. Many singers have died at the age of 27, the latest being Amy Winehouse.

catgirl1976geesealaying Thu 13-Dec-12 13:41:49

That Ke$sha one annoyed me too saula

I lost my cousin this year and she had two little girls

Not sure why "dying young" is a cool thing to do.

The "Black Heart" one make me hmm

Perhaps I am getting old

MamaMary Thu 13-Dec-12 13:36:56

Yes, the group may have done interviews explaining it. But that's not good enough.

You have probably not heard the interview, the tune is catchy, the lyrics get into your head, it becomes 'normal'.

MamaMary Thu 13-Dec-12 13:35:02

Songs like this normalise misogyny and domestic violence.

They are not innocuous 'art', sorry.

If you have teenage DDs, tell them to watch out for lyrics like this. The music industry has an agenda, increasingly, to normalise DV. Just look at Rhinanna.

And your colleagues are dim

Alonglongway Thu 13-Dec-12 13:34:26

To add to it, this is a group who are promoted by playing in schools - my then yr 7 came home with Stooshe freebie merchandise - think this song came out later but nonetheless.....

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: