Should I check OH's ID???? TMI ALERT!!!

[charlieandthechocolatecake]

So....I am sitting in OH's office mumsnetting while hes on the computer. I am reading an old thread about how to successfully give a blow job. One suggestion was to have a mouthful of a fizzy drink...

Me: apparantly, if I have a fizzy drink in my mouth when I give you a blow job, it will feel really good!

OH: (frowning) we can try it...(brief pause)...but I don't want to catch an STI.


WTF?

[charlieandthechocolatecake]

He says he's 23...we have a 4 month old DS.

I now believe he can be no older than 13.

I have been living a lie.

[DoingitOnTheRoofTopWithSanta]

WTH?

[DoingitOnTheRoofTopWithSanta]

Oh my god I once spilt some coke on my chair..what if some got in? Best get myself checked out!

[KnittingChristmas]

[CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire]

If he tells you that you can't get pregnant if you have sex standing up, RUN! For the hills!

[Binfullofgibletsonthe26th]

Is that a Soda Transmitted Irritation he's referring to?

[EverythingsDozy]

Binfull

[propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS]

Oh god. AIBU is really confusing tonight. Does oh think that you have an STI or does he fear that fizzy drinks somehow cause STIs?

[charlieandthechocolatecake]

It gets worse. He reckons the 'quality control' people spit in the drinks...hence catching an STI through sexual contact with it.

I don't understand. He is otherwise extremely intelligent...

[charlieandthechocolatecake]

binfull I'd rather he thought that than the nonsense he's come out with!

[squeakytoy]

so he never drinks any fizzy drink then??? lol!

[charlieandthechocolatecake]

He does squeaky but you don't catch STI's through drinking them do you? (standing in OH's shoes)

[squeakytoy]

okaaaayyyyy....

[RacHoHoHog]

I thought he had got confused with a uti but no, your other posts confirm that your dp is actually a bit dippy!

[PommePoire]

Riiiight. Suggest you anoint your fanjo in Tango as gentle introduction to the idea that exposing your genitalia to fizzy drinks is not a guaranteed outing to the GUM?

[stifnstav]

So the STI in the pop goes through his nob?

[MaryChristmaZEverybody]

Is he my fourteen year old son?

He has been watching the American version of The Inbetweeners, and they are at about this level of intelligence, I think

[tethersjinglebellend]

Sticky Todger Irritation I reckon, binfull...

[PommePoire]

Yeah, stifnstav, that seems to be his logic, but the OP's having it in her mouth (and the rest of the population drinking it) causes no sexual health problems.

[ecclesvet]

Maybe he means UTI? Although I've no idea if that would make any more sense...

[midori1999]

I don't know what to say, but

[wewereherefirst]

Would he prefer champers? People surely don't spit in that!

[CatPussRoastingOnAnOpenFire]

OH NO! French people crush the grapes with their feet! He might catch Verrucas!

[cheekybaubles]

Don't have a poke with a mouthful of coke, stick to tizer its safer and wiser...