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To want to scream my head off at my Nanny for putting my gorgeous new wool jumper in teh dryer!?

(162 Posts)
happywith3 Wed 12-Dec-12 21:29:09

Aaargh! It wasn't cheap and I lusted after it and have only worn it once. It was gorgeous and now it is shrunk! I found it hanging next to the dryer where we put the stuff to dry that's not to go in the dryer but obviusly it went into the dryer because there is pink/red (colour of the jumper) in the thing that catches the fluff. It looks like she realised she shouldn't have put it in the dryer and then hung it there to make it look like it had not gone in or half dried it in the dryer and then hung it. I feel like screaming! How will I tell her calmly in the morning....

Animation Fri 14-Dec-12 12:13:29

It sounds very posh when you can refer to 'the nanny.' The nanny did this this and the nanny did that .. Very nice. smile

EMS23 Fri 14-Dec-12 11:44:05

Rude, sarcastic AND witty. Nice.

Kytti Fri 14-Dec-12 10:43:51

*EMS23 Really? Oh I had no idea. lol So glad you noticed though. smile Thanks for caring.

AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow Fri 14-Dec-12 10:21:18

Well, she has a baby, not sure about her whole circumstances.

I don't disagree with you though GB, I cleaned for a while, private houses, and I hated it, massive houses they were, and one woman in particular seemed to get great pleasure out of saying 'toilets first' soon as I walked in. I did feel degraded, but that's just me, I don't suppose everyone feels like that, and it's a job that's a life line to many.

Goldenbear Fri 14-Dec-12 10:14:52

Yes but she is a 'girl', she has a number of options in life, it is a bit of extra cash, not her whole life. It's all very well people posting biased anecdotes about their cleaners loving the work but that is not backed up by the statistics that demonstrate what few employment rights they often have, the lack of 'choice' they have in doing the work when you look at the demographic of a lot of cleaners. It is delusional to say most are living the life of Riley! A cleaner has posted on this thread saying how she is treated - that is the reality for most. Not this 'part of the family' nonsense!

AlienRefucksLooksLikeSnow Fri 14-Dec-12 10:03:00

Can I just say, my Mum has a cleaner, she works 6 days a week, 12 hours a day as a butcher and fish monger at Tesco. She gets one day a week off, and she's 62.
so, I suggested getting someone in to clean for 2 hours a week, so she didn't have to spend her one day off fucking cleaning!

The girl lived round the corner and was over the moon to have a bit of cash in her pocket. what is wrong with that?

Goldenbear Fri 14-Dec-12 10:01:20

Begonia, no I don't see why I should do so whilst my DP continues to further his career as an Architect. I happened to have the womb so post DC I have to get a low paid job that doesn't use any of the skills I have acquired so that I can contribute financially. It is the antiquated working practices that didn't facilitate any suitable flexibility for me to return to the job I had. That is the problem not my desire to not work as a cleaner to fit around the children. I worked as a cleaner, in factories, as a waitress, as a bar person, in a supermarket to fund my degrees so all my efforts would've been a bit futile if I'm back working as a cleaner.

Goldenbear Fri 14-Dec-12 09:48:03

Absolutely not - I said it wasn't 'Jackshit' for me as it enabled me to get my last job per-DC. I am not making any comments that eluded to me being more 'important' as a result.

sleep, I'm not going to repeat everything I said up thread. I am arguing that those who employ cleaners play the role of the domestic cleaner down by saying things like, 'she is part of the family' and feel more comfortable equating the work with those who work in the service industry. They don't dare imply any power relations between them and their staff, when in reality the paid employee probably never refers to their employer as 'part of the family'. I said up thread why it quite clearly is not like other services. I'm not going to repeat myself.

whois, I don't have a clue what you're on about as I am 35 and my last job wasn't after 'Uni', I am afraid you definitely did need to be educated to Masters level to be considered for my last post. When I went to University people didn't go for the sole aim of getting 'Internships' on graduation- students were not consumers like they are today. A Masters degree wasn't seen as the drifter's choice, indeed post graduate qualifications set you apart from graduates with 1 degree because it demonstrated you were capable of producing work that was a lot more intellectually demanding.

BegoniaBampot Fri 14-Dec-12 09:09:57

'I would not do a job that uses none of the skills and knowledge I have acquired just because my choices are very limited as a SAHP.'

You are very lucky then. You obviously feel that many jobs are way beneath you, seems you are the one here with a superiority complex, not necessarily those who might employ cleaners and such.

diddl Fri 14-Dec-12 08:30:20

If the nanny has agreed to do the washing, I´d be really pissed off if they couldn´t take the trouble to read the care label or ask if not sure.

PessaryPam Fri 14-Dec-12 07:36:47

Goldenbear I don't have a Masters, am I less than you?

Sleepwhenidie Fri 14-Dec-12 06:46:00

Goldenbear, just out of curiosity, in your ideal world, how many other "service" jobs do you consider degrading that people should do themselves? Basic beauty treatments, waxing body hair, waitressing, bar work, chefs? Where does it stop and how do the people that would otherwise have done these jobs earn a living?

Sleepwhenidie Fri 14-Dec-12 06:39:45

Mishimishi-it is the nanny's responsibility to do whatever she has agreed with her employer that she will do, not whatever you have decided is appropriate based on her job title!

Mimishimi Fri 14-Dec-12 02:36:58

"Oh also OP, when you hire your housekeeper don't forget the chauffeur for driving, gardener to cut the lawn and live in odd job man to change the lightbulbs...if you can afford a nanny you must be able to afford a legion of suitably qualified household staff"

Noone is arguing for that. You would not expect the nanny to also do the gardening, pick you up from work and fix the roof though. Everyone who is saying that it isn't the nanny's responsibility is saying you either hire the right person to do the job (wouldn't necessarily have to be on a fulltime basis - you could have someone come in once a week to do the washing) or ... shock horror... you do it yourself...shock

whois Fri 14-Dec-12 01:15:43

Having a masters means jack shit frankly

Means you missed the boat on grad job applications so deferred life by a year and stayed at uni... [mostly joking before everyone with a masters gets pissy]

Goldenbear Fri 14-Dec-12 01:15:27

Chippingin why are you so angry and offensive all the time?

I didn't hold this view when I was very young. I think what you haven't seemed to grasp is that we're probably of very different political persuasions- you appear conservative with a small c and I am not so I would imagine it would be rare for me to see your posts and think, 'yes Chippingin has made a really good point about that'. However , I am a grown up and so can make my point without getting so angry about your alternative view.

Unfortunately I am not particularly young (35), naive- that's hilarious! Yes I am guilty of aspiring to the ideal than festering in the grim reality.

You had to have an MA to do my last job- hardly means 'Jack shit'!

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights Fri 14-Dec-12 00:33:03

Goldenbear - I asked your age because I felt it would be interesting to know if you were a) very young b) quite young c) plain naive. I don't need an answer, I have decided it's d) 'none of the above'. Simply that you cannot see beyond an idealistic view you held when you were very young and that you have no interest in educating yourself out of. Fair enough.

Having a masters means jack shit frankly.

whois Thu 13-Dec-12 23:38:29


cleaning out the pubic hairs from plug holes demonstrates that you, as the employer, puts a low value on that kind of work as your time is much more valuable than those menial tasks

Well, yes. Quite frankly I do value my free time as too valuable to do much cleaning.

How do you feel about people paying an accountant to go through their box of receipts and fill out their tax return (which one can do perfectly easily oneself) The customer places more importance on their own time and therefore the accountant should feel degraded?

I find your attitude really very strange. When you stay in a hotel do you clean the loo before you leave? At the end of the day at work do you hoover around your desk? Madness.

There are many other things apart from cleaning I deem my time to be too valuable for. Hedge trimming (bloody difficult up a precarious step ladder wielding hedge trimmers!). I paid for uplift of my old carpet when I for a new one put down. I pay a laundrette to wash and iron my shirts. I pay a taxi driver to drive me home at night from work. I leave a service charge after a meal when the waiter has served me my food and drink while I sit there bone idle.

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 22:57:18

Gingerninja, well it's not really a nonsense is it? It's a nonsense to say all jobs have the same value and it's a nonsense to say your job is your worth, which is exactly what you are saying. A job does not define someone's personality but it does have a huge impact on their existence - the environment you live in, the opportunities afforded to you and your children and consequently your overall happiness.

I've done low status jobs to fund my degree expenses, that ultimately improved my prospects. I would not do a job that uses none of the skills and knowledge I have acquired just because my choices are very limited as a SAHP.

It is a nonsense to say every Man and his Dog have a Masters degree. I only know one other person who has an MA degree out of a number of people that all have a 1st degree only.

Goldenbear Thu 13-Dec-12 22:27:45

happywith3, the value of your time you obviously deem as more expensive, put a higher value on it than using it to clean. Therefore, that less valued activity is outsourced.

The arguments of how much time people have to clear up the mess they made are irrelevant. It is the principle of someone else cleaning up your mess that is wrong IMO.

DowagersHump Thu 13-Dec-12 22:25:39

Goldenbear - I've been a cleaner and I've paid a cleaner. I don't have one at the moment but I will probably employ one again. Domestic cleaning can be a brilliant high-ish earning unskilled job that fits around school hours and those kind of jobs are in short supply. When I've had a cleaner, I've paid them more than I pay my nanny fwiw.

Do you have a problem with people employing childminders or sending their kids to nursery too? Or is it only cleaning you think is such a lowly job?

gingerninja Thu 13-Dec-12 22:25:24

But there you are, educated to masters level therefore too important to be doing a job like cleaning. So what, everyone and his dog has a degree or a masters and what does it prove? So have I but am I more valuable? I think not however we can probably command a higher salary but why? Is what you would do with your masters more valuable than say a paramedic? Can you command a higher salary than say a nurse? Value and worth. It's a bloody nonsense.

JustFabulous Thu 13-Dec-12 22:24:01

What is the ridiculous outrage at the nanny washing the bosses stuff about?
Maybe she agreed to. Maybe she wanted to help. Maybe it is part of her agreed contract. I think someone other than the OP need to get a grip.

When I was a nanny I did loads of stuff that wasn't in my contract. I was a very good nanny who was very much appreciated.

happywith3 Thu 13-Dec-12 22:10:56

Bagofmashings: You say it exactly as it is!

Goldenbear: "Cleaning is not deemed to be of value by those who employ cleaners" er, what?! If I don't see it of value then why would I pay for it? Did it ever cross your mind that some people have jobs, kids other things going on and don't have the time to clean or if they do clean it might mean spending less time with their kids or getting less sleep or whatever. Sometimes it's just a question of logistics. Some people have all the time in the world but simply don't like cleaning and would rather pay someone to do it. The cleaner is not being forced to do it but is presumably glad to have employment

When I pay for a cleaner I am paying for a service like any other. I don't look down on my cleaner and I don't attach any low value to it quite the opposite! It is of great value which is why I am willing to pay for it!

DialsMavis Thu 13-Dec-12 22:06:46

Many people are not SAHMs though. I have friends who have insane jobs, work stupidly long hours all week, meaning their DC are in childcare 8-6pm all week. They have a cleaner so they can see their DC at the weekend instead of cleaning all day. not because they think cleaning is in some way beneath them.

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