My best friend and his wife are loving life with their 22m/o PFB. It's great seeing them thrive.
What is less lovely though, is the way in which my best friend regularly eulogises to me about how wonderful it is to be a parent. In isolation, they're just harmless comments, but after a while they have started to become tiresome. Lately it's become a constant stream of "Oh DD is amazing. She's the funniest person I know" ok so not too bad - she IS great! Then "having kids is just the BEST thing you can do" not too bad either. "I have no idea what on earth we ever used to do before we had DD" Great! I'm happy for you! I've lost count of the amount of times I get told that "Having kids is the BEST, Vivi, seriously, it really is" but really pointedly. I'm not being sensitive - we've been best friends for over 10 years and I know these statements are extremely loaded. I generally just smile sweetly and compliment his DD whenever he says this stuff. I have told him in the past that we'll have kids when the time is right for us. I have many other friends with kids who don't feel the need to push these opinions on me.
DP and I have discussed potentially TTC after our wedding next May. It's not something we wish to discuss with anyone else. I think what annoys me most is that for all my BF knows, we could have fertility issues, or have suffered miscarriages, and yet he still insists on rhapsodising in this extremely pushy way. I know ostensibly he has found great happiness in parenthood and is probably subconsciously trying to promote this marvellous way of life to me, without malice. But I think it is somewhat insensitive and naive.
The other day, while he was generalising in not so many words that a life with children is so much better than without, I almost snapped and said "that's nice for you - it's a good job I'm not struggling to try to conceive or I might have found what you just said a bit difficult to swallow". I bit my tongue though, it's not worth falling out over.
I found myself wondering what would AIBU say?
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What'd the AIBU way of dealing with this mildly irritating behaviour? Pushy PFB Parent...
16 replies
ViviPru · 12/12/2012 17:03
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