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Christmas card AIBU?

(16 Posts)
Jelly15 Tue 11-Dec-12 12:33:43

Background -My MIL passed away a few years ago and up until a few days before her death she did a lot for a neighbours family, such as helping to care for their elderly mother and baby sitting their children. My DH considers this family to be close family friends. I think they tool my MIL for granted but I don't think my opinion would have been welcome.

My DH is a builder and work has been slow over the last couple of years. This family have had extensive building work done lately and have never even asked DH for a quote. I am rather cross about this but not much I can do about it. I have refused to write them a Christmas card this year biut DH doesn't agree so I told him to do it himself. AIBU?

BOFingSanta Tue 11-Dec-12 12:35:10

Of course YABU. It's only a bloody card, not a cheque.

3ForMe Tue 11-Dec-12 12:36:50

I think it's understandable that you feel wounded by them not speaking to your dh about work.

But it's their prerogative.

I would assume they haven't done it to upset you.

I think yabu to not write a card.

chrismissymoomoomee Tue 11-Dec-12 12:37:22

YABU, there could be a million reasons why the other person is doing the work, it could be a family member for instance. You would be even more annoyed if they asked for a quote and then went with the other people anyway.

AMumInScotland Tue 11-Dec-12 12:41:24


But if they are your DHs friends rather than yours there is no specific reason why it is your job to write his cards.

Frankly you sound very petty not to wish people joy at Christmas for such trivial reasons.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Tue 11-Dec-12 12:45:43

Of course YABU! My DH is a builder and if I got the hump over people I am friendly with/help out because they don't use his services....well, thats just madness.

Seriously......get a grip!

ecuse Tue 11-Dec-12 13:11:38

I'd be a bit peeved too, to be honest. I think your DH can write the card himself if he wants to send one, although I wouldn't go so far as to say he should leave your name off or anything.

MissCellania Tue 11-Dec-12 13:14:09

YABVU. No-one has an obligation to give your husband work. It's often a bad idea to have family or friends do big jobs for you, what if something goes wrong and you can't feel you can complain because its not just a professional relationship etc.

Agent64 Wed 12-Dec-12 22:09:16

I agree with MissC. My BIL is a joiner and I wouldn't ask him to do work for us - too many potential complications if something goes wrong. I would prefer to employ someone on a strictly professional basis.

DoingitOnTheRoofTopWithSanta Thu 13-Dec-12 00:27:47

Well Op I don't think YABU! If people took advantage of your mIL and now aren't helping you out as a family, why bother?

DoingitOnTheRoofTopWithSanta Thu 13-Dec-12 00:28:41

Oh also YANBU purely on the fact that they are dh's friends not yours so why Sshould you write them anyway?

CaHoHoHootz Thu 13-Dec-12 01:08:04

You can write cards to whoever you like but you are BU not to write to this family because they did not ask your DH for a quote. Perhaps they had another family friend they wanted to use or perhaps they were, quite rightly, wary of employing family friends. It's better to keep friends and buisness seperate sometimes.

ChippingInAWinterWonderland Thu 13-Dec-12 01:55:46

I thought you were going to say they'd asked him to do it free/cheap!

No, YANBU to not send a card to people you don't like, if your DH wants to - then he can, it's not as if you said he wasn't allowed to.

I'd be annoyed about the MIL thing, but not the builder thing.

expatinscotland Thu 13-Dec-12 01:59:23

YANBU. Let him do the card if he wants to.

Kytti Thu 13-Dec-12 02:31:52

YANBU - Cards are for those we care about and our good friends. I think, anyway. YABU over the quote though. I mean, I can see why you might be miffed, but maybe they were embarrassed because if they got a quote and didn't want to use him, wouldn't that have been worse?!

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange Thu 13-Dec-12 03:21:35

I will never ask family or friends to do work for me again, bad bad experience. So, you ABU.

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