Crazy colleague's child taking over the office an inch at a time(61 Posts)
Since my work colleague returned from maternity leave she has tried to turn the office in to some kind of shrine to her child.
If she is not talking about her DD then she is showing someone a picture of her DD. Every conversation devolves into one involving her spawn. Rather than working she'll sit around discussing how 'cute' her DD is. Just last week she used up all of the color ink in the print printing a picture of her DD. Any current event always strikes a cord with whatever crap her DD did last night.
AIBU to say that no one gives a shit about her kid and she should just shut up and do her job?
There's someone like this at my work.
Her first child was born 4 years ago and she still hasn't got over it <eye roll>
Most other people in the office have young children too, but they manage to talk about many different topics. She ALWAYS brings it back to her children, she talks at length about breastfeeding, nappies, potty training long after everyone has stopped listening. She is also the perfect mother and knows best about every child related subject.
It's got to the point were newly pregnant first timers in the office are scared of announcing their pregnancy because they know she'll pounce on them every few minutes with 'advice' and anecdotes about her own pregnancy and birth.
DH used to work with someone like this, only the ds was in his 20's. She'd be on the phone to him several times a day, micromanaging his life for him. Unsurprisingly he had no idea how to function as an adult and was constantly in trouble with the police.
There are a few of us in my office with children and we do discuss them as they're part of our lives, but no-one's a bore
shit does that mean the bore's me?
I think it depends how extreme it is. I have a colleague who loves her dogs, and from time to time, she calls me in to look at pictures of 'the girls', or tell me if one of them is sick, or to relay something funny they did. I tell her about my children from time to time, but hopefully not every time I see her, or to the detriment of my work (indeed, I know not as I work very hard).
So, a little conversation can be a nice thing in a boring office, but once someone starts to dominate it is hard.
If she is chatting and printing photos she is not working. Highlight this fact to her boss. She is not giving the company value for money and there are plenty of people out there willing to take her place so she can be a SAHM.
i suppose if all else fails, you could let out a scream, throw your head onto your desk and yell oh GOD if I have to sit through another minute of this I am going to throw myself onto my letter opener
'Lotta - have you tried to get the message across to your colleague? Or is it easier just to put up with it?'
Dromedary, I have tried several approaches I have tried to make a few polite comments about her son, then move the conversation on to something else - she brings it back to him. I have tried initiating a converstaion about a topic that has nothing to do with family - the US elections, winter coats, favourite foods/drinks etc - she ends up talking about her kid or her parents every single time. It's mind-numbing and sometimes quite upsetting, as I have massive family issue of my own and could do without someone else's Disney-like set up being shoved down my throat.
There was a thread a while back about how to handle colleagues that just won't shut up - someone suggested you should hold a hand up and say 'can I just stop you there?', then when they pause to let you speak, just get on with your work and ignore them from then on Definitely not brave enough to try it though!
I work with a woman like this. If she's not talking about her children she's on the phone reminding them in a loud voice to do their homework, be good for granny etc etc. It has got to the stage where people try to time their coffee breaks so that they won't be in the kitchen at the same time as her because, no matter what the topic under discussion, she will bring it back to her kids.
I used to manage someone who did this. She had three, there was never an occasion when she didn't have a very dull story to relate about them. Other people talk about their children in moderation, when they have done something amusing or have been awake all night. She was just at it all the bloody time. People actually used to raise it with me in 1:1s and ask me to make it stop. I discussed it with her (subtly pointing out the several people with fertility/miscarriage issues sitting near her) and it would stop for a little while and then be back to normal. She had a very loud, irritating voice as well, so there was no escape. The manager of another team in the open plan office had to speak to me about it once. God, I am glad I never have to see her again.
There's a poster on here whose sister has a dog but no children and refers to the dog as the poster's nephew. She is expected to buy doggie Christmas presents.
You should bring in photos of a puppy and go on about it ad nauseum.
Nah, I can beat that - I once worked with a golf bore. My god that was boring. Blow by blow account of each swing of her weekend games <yawn> every bloody day of the week.
She literally only stopped talking to take another breath. And you couldnt just not listen because she would ask you stuff and keep trying to get your attention.
My ears bled.
The worst was that you'd hear each story a million times as she'd tell you plus any other poor sod who came near the office.
I could tell you so many stories about it but I'd be scared of outing myself! There can only be one woman like her in the while world.
Totally agree lucie wedding stuff is the worst! It's so bloody boring! Especially when you get a real stickler for detail and they are showing you photos of napkin rings and the like.
Oh pickled that reminds me of someone I knew who left my friend working late on a big project on bonfire night as had to get home to his cats as they might be scared (he was married so wasn't even like cats were out/alone etc).
Ooh I wish we had a lover of musicals bore in my office, I would monopolize him and not be bored at all! However you forgot the sports bores- have lost count of the times I have had to remind them that I don't give two hoots about rugby.
Surprised at the level of indignation about the expression "spawn"- lighten up ladies
YANBU to find her irritating. Though until she breeches some employment code you'll just have to deal with it.
Though I find your words about her child disgusting, and therefore I'm glad she wrecks your head.
Being single I actually find it more annoying when women blather on about their boyfriends or partners. Having a son, I don't mind kiddy talk but I just want to vomit when women dribble on about their other halves, in particular their weddings. Oh my god I hate wedding talk!. But I can't expect them to shut up just cause I don't like it so I just politely disengage and get on with my work.
Isn't that part of office life - putting up with the office bores? In my old office we had the following:
-Dog bore (my boss)
- planning a wedding at work bore (got sacked eventually)
- Ego as big as the globe bore (moved into management consultancy)
- Bitch bore (bitching about everyone and everything)
- Foodie bore
- Lover of musicals bore (went in his extended lunch time and on his return filled you in on how great the show was)
How do you know you're not a bore in some way?
In contrast to your office, lots of people were falling over themselves to meet the babies and young children of employees if they happened to be passing with the other parent. My office was in central London so sometimes children would be on holiday visiting a museum and pop by if nearby. I never took my DS in to meet them and they were mostly cross about it. At my brother's office there was a, 'bring your child to work day', imagine how you would feel in that situation with your colleague?
I had one at my old work, our children were the same age and this is absolutely true; we worked a shift pattern and I was granted annual leave on Christmas Eve and she wasn't. She complained because I had two children one being from a previous relationship (my eldest went to his dad) 'it didn't matter if I was away from them on Christmas Eve because we weren't a proper family anyway',
She also used to get jealous that her mum paid more attention to her brothers son because he was severely autistic and she felt he was getting 'special treatment'
It used to drive me nuts so no yanbu
My boss used to be like this with her fucking bloody cat.
Get a bloody fucking cat and do similar.
Are you sure it's this bad though or are you hamming it up?
Everlong- dave is mine!! And everlong is my favourite song ever ever ever
I have 4 kids and deny them regularly...
She's a freakin bore.. Yawn and turn away..
Lotta - have you tried to get the message across to your colleague? Or is it easier just to put up with it?
I sympathise -I don't usually mention my DCs at work unless someone asks. My boss doesn't have children and it became obvious very soon after I started working for them that the topic of my children was of no interest (fair enough). Not sure why some people don't pick up on that kind of lack of interest. I have to say I also find being at work more of a break if my office is a child free zone.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.