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why the hell do people waste so much money on booze and fags

(67 Posts)
whiteandyelloworchid Mon 10-Dec-12 23:29:58

I just do not get it.

Thinking about my childhood, we never had money for days out, or toys only toys I had were box of lego and dinosaur models
We never had money for food or clothes
We were often hungry after tiny meals.

Yet my parents both used to spend loads on smoking
And drinking

And I just don't get it.

SpecialAgentKat Wed 12-Dec-12 13:11:40

expatinscotland - DH does his own rollies too!! He's such an expert at this point I've told him to start up pottery as a hobby to rake in a bit of cash at the market. grin

MyBaby1day Wed 12-Dec-12 11:09:35

No idea, I don't smoke or drink at all. I am happy to spend my money on other things!.

Furoshika Wed 12-Dec-12 10:12:08

I don't know the answer but I feel the same about Sky tv and having 47 different games consoles. How do people afford this?

expatinscotland Wed 12-Dec-12 10:05:00

DH smokes rollies, but he gets the baccy cheap from E. European colleagues. We don't buy booze, though, never go out and would never dream of our kids going without essentials or treats.

HaudYerWheeshtFannyBaws Wed 12-Dec-12 09:49:40

I have never smoked but I like wine and I know I spend far too much on it but I can afford it, I don't drink to excess and my son never goes without.

Floggingmolly Wed 12-Dec-12 09:21:13

No, she's not, whois, the two issues are linked when one is prioritised over another.
Huge difference between spending spare money on cigarettes/alcohol, and depriving your children of necessities to finance your habits when there isn't any spare money. The latter is fairly spectacularly crap parenting.

whois Wed 12-Dec-12 00:15:39

Well I spend some of my salary on booze, and nights out.

Why not? I can afford it and I alike having a nice bottle of pinot noir with a decent meal. And I like meeting up with groups of friends and having a dance.

As other posters have said the OP is confusing two issues with money on booze and neglect / crap parenting.

Beaverfeaver Tue 11-Dec-12 22:58:30

Spend plenty on it, but always make sure there is bough left over to eat, clothe and save.

Otherwise we would cut back. No biggy.

amillionyears Tue 11-Dec-12 22:47:15

op, were they trying to block out mental pain from their own childhoods?

SantaIAmSoFuckingRock Tue 11-Dec-12 22:42:36

some people have really warped views on what are priorities. my children's father has this year cut their support payments by £100 a month to pay for his new house, his engagement ring and his new car. my children are essentially paying for these things for him. he still chooses to smoke and drink though which over a month adds up to over £100. priorities completely fucked up IMO.

TeentheBean Tue 11-Dec-12 22:40:12

Things were different years ago, when my rellies took me and my sibling out, we used to sit outside the pub in the car by ourselves with a bottle of coke and a bag of crisps. At a different pub, different rellies would be in the bar drinking and leave us in the 'outer room' (like a very large porch) and we'd talk to all and sundry passing. Certainly could not imagine having done that to my DCs when they were youngsters.

seenbetterdays Tue 11-Dec-12 22:37:11

I am so sorry about your friends. There is nothing that can be said is there. I ve known several people living a similar way.and now I find it very hard to see the light side of these problems. I live in hope that some day my partner will see sense and decide to change. Everybody tells me not to hold my breath.

PixieHot Tue 11-Dec-12 22:33:23

We were very poor when I was a child, but my Mum and Dad still smoked 20 cigarettes a day, and my Dad still drank every day.

sad for everyone who has experienced this.

glastocat Tue 11-Dec-12 22:31:37

I drink, and enjoy it. I have the odd sneaky fag, and enjoy that too. But my child is well fed and clothed and housed, we can afford treats and holidays too! Lucky us, eh? We have always worked, and are very grateful for all the little pleasures in life, life would be a lot duller with the odd bottle of lovely wine and the occasional holiday somewhere hot. If you think that's a waste, that's your choice. So long as no one is going short, I see no harm.

PigletJohn Tue 11-Dec-12 22:29:50

Two of my close friends, known since school, drank themselves into an early grave. They wouldn't accept anyone else's views and wouldn't change. One took it as a matter of pride to refuse to accept advice or help. The other took himself away where he wouldn't have to put up with it. An ex used to drink in the evenings.

My commercial premises include a bar and I am the "licensee" (DPS).

pingu2209 Tue 11-Dec-12 22:23:16

I don't get it either. I have 2 friends that smoke 20 a day. Each would have around £50 extra a week if they gave up. One friend has twins age 8 who would love a DS but she 'can't afford' them - when I said to her that she could buy 1 for £50 second hand so if she didn't smoke for 2 weeks she could afford them, my friend wouldn't speak to me for ages. She was furious.

I'm fed up with people who smoke who cry poverty. Fuck off and stop smoking, then you will have loads more money.

seenbetterdays Tue 11-Dec-12 22:15:45

PigletJohn you seeem to have a similar way of thinking as me. Have you by any chance had first hand experiance of dealing with the very difficult promblems of drink addiction? I don't mean to pry. I have a partner who brings home under £300 a week and spends £80 on cigarretes. He also spends money on secret bottles of vodka. I have to live on whats left, including paying the mortgage.He even objected to my suggestion that he bought a cheaper brand as he didint like them as much!

perplexedpirate Tue 11-Dec-12 21:43:09

I love booze, and fags.
But DH and I both work bloody hard so we can afford to give DS everything he needs and more, with a little left over for a dirty martini and silk cut once in a while, like wot I'm having now.
That said, YANBU to be pissed off with your parents. DC's needs should obviously come first, no question.
I hope you find some kind of closure with this OP.

Floggingmolly Tue 11-Dec-12 21:34:02

AfterEightMintyy, I'm an ex smoker, and yes, I know exactly what you mean. Shame it took me 10 years to actually quit.

ComposHat Tue 11-Dec-12 20:23:10

Because if you were short of money and under pressure, it was probably a form of release and one of they few pleasures they had.

Okay in strict economic terms it doesn't make sense, but that underestimates the complexity of human needs and emotions.

Luckily I have only been really hungry once, stuck in a town miles away from home and benefit not paid into my account. When I finally got some cash, do you think I went out and ordered a balanced meal? Of course not I gorged on the largest bag of chips the chippie could furnish me with. Nutritional value of nil, but they were filling and comforting.

Alisvolatpropiis Tue 11-Dec-12 19:25:32

Because fags and booze are great! Well,as long as they're not above your children on your list of priorities anyway.

KelleStarOfWonder Tue 11-Dec-12 19:21:24

My mum didn't realise how much was being spent on it until she had to give it up. She smoked and drank quite heavily all through me and DBro's early years, she did give up when pg with DSis, so she did have more available cash at that point. My DSis had a terrible accident when she was a toddler and pulled through fine, but mum smoked and drank to cope with the stress. She only recently gave up again and DSis is 25. She is again amazed at how much money they now have spare. She's so chuffed with the money saved she went and bought a new sofa.

I used to find it upsetting as a child, but once I started to have my own money from my part time jobs as a teen, I realised how to prioritise what was important and what was treat money, and then what I spent that treat money on. I do like the odd drink here and there, in moderation, but I wouldn't make it such a high priority in my life that my children thought their needs were only important after sherry and fags.

Cozy9 Tue 11-Dec-12 18:56:21

Smoking is for idiots and drinking isn't much better.

PigletJohn Tue 11-Dec-12 18:51:33

one of my former colleagues said "if smoking was my one pleasure, I'd top myself now"

fridgepants Tue 11-Dec-12 18:28:06

My dad had ten - yep, ten - heart bypasses during his lifetime. His doctor told him at one point that giving up would be more stressful (but then this was the same GP who thought women were a drain on the health service hmm)

He smoked heavily throughout my childhood, and when young relatives where in the house - I remember him sat next to DN's cot with a lit unfiltered in his hand. He wasn;t the kind of man you could even attempt to argue with - he was domineering to the point of abusive - but I was shock at the time - DB and his girlfriend smoked through the pregnancy and afterward, though, so maybe they weren't inclined to do a cat's bum face at the sight of smoke near a newborn.

When we were very short of money because he had no job and no benefits coming in - meaning we were living off my mum's part time wages - giving up was out of the question. Though there is the argument that it was one pleasure that was there when time was tight.

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