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Fiancé left me nearly 2 weeks ago, I can't cope.

(56 Posts)
CanAnyoneHearMe Mon 10-Dec-12 11:00:16

With my Fiancé 3 years, He finished the relationship 2 weeks ago.

We have a 15 month old DS and before he ended it we were TTC and I found out that I am pregnant 2 days after he walked out.

We met on Saturday so he could see DS and I tried to Beg Talk to him about getting back together. He listened and in the end he said 'I don't want to talk, You're making this harder than it needs to be for both of us' In my head I feel that this means that he still loves me or am I wrong?

I have asked him to meet me so I can talk to him alone about how I feel and to sort things out with DS but he is flat out refusing.

I am having the hardest time I have ever had in my life hmm

I haven't stopped crying, I get 4 hours sleep at night and I am struggling to look after DS because of how much this is getting to me.

I have family support however a very close family member has fallen extremely ill so that is the focus at the moment so I don't really have anyone to talk to hmm

My DB said that he would drop me off at his house so he would have to hear me out.

My DF has said that he will ring him and ask him himself to talk to me because of how much it is affecting me.

I am heartbroken, Devastated and see no reason to live without him.

Shall I just turn up at his house and say you need to hear me out, Shall I wait until Saturday when he picks DS up get in the car and say we need to talk?

I don't know what to do anymore hmm I have lost all of the happiness in my life.

Softlysoftly Mon 10-Dec-12 12:39:05

Is it possible he was controlling? He kept all the money, he moved you away from friends and family...

He seems to have created himself as the centre of your universe then fucked off leaving a gaping hole.

You need to get more counselling and you will fill that hold with your self confidence I promise!

But please tell someone in RL if you are having suicidal thoughts, you have to, imagine your DS feeling as desperately sad as you do now, do you want to be the one that does that to him?

MoomieAndFreddie Mon 10-Dec-12 12:44:35

omg i missed the bit about him getting the CB

why is HE getting the CB??

get it transfered over to yourself OP. this man child is a complete and utter tosser

CremeEggThief Mon 10-Dec-12 12:50:16

So sorry to hear what you are going through. You won't want to hear this, but ultimately you will be better off without this man. Thank goodness you had already moved back so you are near your family and it sounds like they will help you (DS and I were left by STBXH 6 months ago, in an area we moved to for his work. I have no job, no family or close friends here, and I am increasingly finding the loneliness difficult to cope with).

Please go to your GP and see if they can organise counselling and medication for you, and pregnancy advice and support. Then find out about any tax credits and benefits you are entitled to. You will need to let the Child Benefit know, so you can get it transferred to you. He isn't entitled to it, if your child doesn't live with him.

HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly Mon 10-Dec-12 12:51:29

get the CB transferred to you NOW!

And I am so sorry, but "I don't want to talk, You're making this harder than it needs to be for both of us"

doesn't mean he still loves you.

I'm really sorry. It means that he doesn't want to discuss it, it's over as far as he is concerned and you keep trying to talk about it is making it harder for him cos he just wants you to accept it and shut up.

It's a really cold thing to say to you and it is your heartbreaking desire to have him back that is making you unable to see it for what it is.

Him being really cruel.

gail734 Mon 10-Dec-12 13:13:20

Keep posting, OP. There are many people on here who have been through simliar. They can really help you. Try, try to hold onto something positive for your son's sake. You are a good mum, a strong person, a good friend... You'll be ok. You didn't do anything to deserve this. One day at a time. Go to your GP. I did, in your position, without even really knowing why I was there. I just said "I'm not coping very well.". I was very surprised when she gave me some tablets to help me sleep. Just a short course of gentle ones, but they helped me to start getting back to normal.

He was "TTC" while planning to leave you. He didn't just wake up one day and decide that a three year relationship was over. He is not worth getting upset about. You were "in love" with a dream, I'm afraid.

WeAreEternal Mon 10-Dec-12 13:25:09

I am very sorry that you are hurting.

I don't mean this to sound cruel but you really need to get a grip for your child's sake.
I can only imagine what seeing you in this state is doing to the poor little boy.
Yes breaking up is heartbreaking and it can feel like there is no point in a life without that other person, but their is a point your son.
I know that you are hurting but frankly saying that you see no reason to live without him and that you have lost all of the happiness in your life is so selfish, what about your son?!
You have to concentrate all of your energy on him. Having his father walk out on him is bad enough but having a mother whos only concern is getting back with the man that left is almost certainly going to badly affect your DS.

You need to concentrate on your son and continue with your counselling. If there is any hope of you and your ex ever getting back together you need to sort yourself out and look after yourself.
Hounding him to talk is only going to drive him further away.
He listened to what you had to say but it didn't make a difference, telling him the same thing over and over again is only hurting you more and making him want even less to do with you.

Just focus on getting better and looking after your DS.

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