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to be thinking of getting a puppy...

(65 Posts)
lola88 Sun 09-Dec-12 19:07:05

... when i have a 10mo and am going back to work 2 days a week?

DP is desperate for a dog he's always had them and misses having one we had planned to get one when we moved in together but things have got in the way mostly working and baby. His friend has offered us one of his pups very cheap as an xmas pressie for DS/DP they have 6 chug pups we can have our pick from.

I've never had a dog so am a bit worried about how a puppy would be with a baby and also how long it would be before it could be left alone? I would be going back to work mon and friday around the same time as the pup will be ready to come, i can leave the pup with my sister these days but would it be ok to do that? Also long term how long before it could be left for a few hours with a walk in the day?

AIBU to even think about accepting

MeerkatMerkin Mon 10-Dec-12 00:19:56

Will you have time to socialise the dog? A lot of smaller breeds get "big dog syndrome" with other dogs (and in general) because they have been treated like handbag dogs, whisked into the owner's arms when behaving badly rather than the behaviour altered accordingly because it seems easier. It's not good, emotionally, for the dog. Just a thought.

I might have considered getting a small breed puppy when my DS was 1 but now that he is 2, boisterous and testing boundaries constantly (including hitting our dog sometimes, which luckily our soft staffy tolerates, but could really injure a smaller dog) I can see that it would be horribly unfair on the dog. He might respond well to being told "no" now but believe me he will test you as he gets bigger!

CoolaYuleA Mon 10-Dec-12 00:44:10

I have had lots of dogs, and currently have two - a 12 year old and a 4 year old. Both rescued as puppies. I have had a variety of breeds and sizes, old and puppy, even one with a severe birth defect. I love dogs and have taken in many waifs and strays over the years and trained them all.

I now have a 14 month old DD.

With all my experience and knowledge there is no way on earth I would consider getting a puppy now. My old pooch is great, she happily fits in around DDs needs. The younger one chunters a bit but does as she is told. A puppy has to have it's needs met when they occur, they can't hang on to toilet because you are feeding a baby, or changing a nappy. They might want to poddle around the garden for 45 minutes before peeing and you need to be out there with them whilst they do it. They may decide to yowl all night.

My pooches were trained to walk to heel long before DD came along. Adding a pram into the mix provoked a lot of sniffing and sideways "WTF?!" glances - but both dogs just pootle along beside me as they have always done. A puppy wouldn't do this. When you start walking a puppy they sit down and stare at EVERY noise (first time out with old dog it took 45 minutes to walk to the shop 5 minutes away). Then they tend to pull and weave about - impossible with a pushchair.

Now to the "Chug" eeeeew they have a reputation for being snappy. I wouldn't put one near a child, particularly a young child. You mention stair gates - a puppy that size would just go between the bars so gates would be pointless.

Puppies are like babies - and you would have two totally different babies with different needs both wanting/needing them met immediately. You would either have to neglect your child's needs to meet the dog's - or neglect the dog's needs to meet your child's.

I won't be getting another puppy until DD is at least five.

CoolaYuleA Mon 10-Dec-12 00:45:49

*impossible to manage effectively with a pushchair.

MrsTerrysChocolateOrange Mon 10-Dec-12 01:14:22

Don't do it... My reasons...

1. Stupid designer dogs, the more there are the less good they are
2. 10-12 months is too young. They could never, ever be left alone together, why not wait
3. It is frankly irresponsible and unfeeling to buy a dog when there are so many wonderful dogs waiting for re-homing
4. There are a thousand reasons there may be issues: behaviour; biting; wetting; stress; health of your child or the dog; expense; being let down for care; too much work.

Just wait a bit. There really is no rush. Unfortunately the shelters will be full in a year.

MyLittleAprilSunshine Mon 10-Dec-12 02:00:30

I'd advise you that if you want to get a dog that you get an older dog that is already trained and good with children and preferably medium sized. Medium sized dogs in general don't need as much walking as the larger dogs (but obviously still need their walks, this goes without saying) and are less snappy than the little dogs. I'd say at least 3 years old, so they are really settled in their temperment. I'd definately not go for a designer breed. They don't really want to 'play' with kids and can sometimes come off as a bit snobby. There is no point getting a dog just because your partner really wants one. It would have to be something you'd all gain as a family from it.

I did a quick test on SelectSmart for dog breeds and put in roughly what I think you would want in a dog. These are the results from 1 being the best, to 179 being the worst. Have a look at the top breeds and see what you think. smile

1. Sussex Spaniel (100%) Breed Info
2. Nova Scotia Duck Tolling Retriever (97%) Breed Info
3. Polish Lowland Sheepdog (92%) Breed Info
4. German Pinscher (90%) Breed Info
5. Pointer (85%) Breed Info
6. Treeing Walker Coonhound (85%) Breed Info
7. Keeshond (85%) Breed Info
8. American Water Spaniel (83%) Breed Info
9. Entlebucher Mountain Dog (83%) Breed Info
10. German Shorthaired Pointer (83%) Breed Info
11. Irish Red and White Setter (83%) Breed Info
12. Brittany Spaniel (82%) Breed Info
13. American Eskimo-Standard (81%) Breed Info
14. Petit Basset Griffon Vendéen (81%) Breed Info
15. English Setter (81%) Breed Info
16. Beagle (79%) Breed Info
17. Australian Shepherd (79%) Breed Info
18. Saluki (79%) Breed Info
19. Weimaraner (79%) Breed Info
20. Irish Water Spaniel (79%) Breed Info
21. Miniature Bull Terrier (76%) Breed Info
22. Scottish Terrier (76%) Breed Info
23. Soft Coated Wheaten Terrier (76%) Breed Info
24. Whippet (76%) Breed Info
25. Gordon Setter (76%) Breed Info
26. Field Spaniel (75%) Breed Info
27. Irish Terrier (75%) Breed Info
28. Bluetick Coonhound (74%) Breed Info
29. Wirehaired Pointing Griffon (73%) Breed Info
30. Welsh Corgi (Pembroke) (72%) Breed Info
31. Welsh Corgi (Cardigan) (70%) Breed Info
32. Welsh Springer Spaniel (70%) Breed Info
33. Labrador Retriever (67%) Breed Info
34. Airedale Terrier (67%) Breed Info
35. Poodle (standard) (67%) Breed Info
36. Clumber Spaniel (67%) Breed Info
37. Glen of Imaal Terrier (67%) Breed Info
38. Icelandic Sheepdog (67%) Breed Info
39. Redbone Coonhound (65%) Breed Info
40. Bulldog (65%) Breed Info
41. Tibetan Terrier (65%) Breed Info
42. French Bulldog (65%) Breed Info
43. Golden Retriever (65%) Breed Info
44. Harrier (65%) Breed Info
45. English Cocker Spaniel (65%) Breed Info
46. Bearded Collie (63%) Breed Info
47. Border Collie (63%) Breed Info
48. Border Terrier (63%) Breed Info
49. Portuguese Water Dog (63%) Breed Info
50. Puli (63%) Breed Info
51. Pyrenean Shepherd (63%) Breed Info
52. Curly-Coated Retriever (63%) Breed Info
53. Staffordshire Bull Terrier (63%) Breed Info
54. Swedish Vallhund (63%) Breed Info
55. Vizsla (63%) Breed Info
56. Flat-Coated Retriever (63%) Breed Info
57. American Foxhound (61%) Breed Info
58. Australian Cattle Dog (61%) Breed Info
59. Norwegian Elkhound (61%) Breed Info
60. Pharaoh Hound (61%) Breed Info
61. Plott (61%) Breed Info
62. Collie (61%) Breed Info
63. Dachshund (61%) Breed Info
64. English Foxhound (61%) Breed Info
65. English Springer Spaniel (61%) Breed Info
66. Irish Setter (61%) Breed Info
67. Bull Terrier (60%) Breed Info
68. Standard Schnauzer (60%) Breed Info
69. Basset Hound (58%) Breed Info
70. Norwegian Buhund (58%) Breed Info
71. Belgian Malinois (58%) Breed Info
72. Belgian Sheepdog (58%) Breed Info
73. Black and Tan Coonhound (58%) Breed Info
74. Briard (58%) Breed Info
75. Canaan Dog (58%) Breed Info
76. Dalmatian (58%) Breed Info
77. Kerry Blue Terrier (58%) Breed Info
78. Black Russian Terrier (56%) Breed Info
79. Scottish Deerhound (56%) Breed Info
80. Chesapeake Bay Retriever (56%) Breed Info
81. Shiba Inu (56%) Breed Info
82. Spinone Italiano (56%) Breed Info
83. German Wirehaired Pointer (56%) Breed Info
84. Ibizan Hound (56%) Breed Info
85. American Eskimo-Miniature (54%) Breed Info
86. Boykin Spaniel (54%) Breed Info
87. Rhodesian Ridgeback (54%) Breed Info
88. Samoyed (53%) Breed Info
89. Smooth Fox Terrier (52%) Breed Info
90. Borzoi (52%) Breed Info
91. Chinese Shar-Pei (52%) Breed Info
92. Dogue de Bordeaux (52%) Breed Info
93. Havanese (52%) Breed Info
94. Cocker Spaniel (51%) Breed Info
95. Australian Terrier (50%) Breed Info
96. Wire Fox Terrier (50%) Breed Info
97. Boxer (50%) Breed Info
98. Schipperke (50%) Breed Info
99. Manchester Terrier (48%) Breed Info
100. Belgian Tervuren (47%) Breed Info
101. Bernese Mountain Dog (47%) Breed Info
102. Welsh Terrier (47%) Breed Info
103. German Shepherd Dog (47%) Breed Info
104. Sealyham Terrier (46%) Breed Info
105. Poodle (miniature) (45%) Breed Info
106. Cesky Terrier (45%) Breed Info
107. Finnish Spitz (44%) Breed Info
108. Giant Schnauzer (44%) Breed Info
109. Lakeland Terrier (43%) Breed Info
110. American Eskimo Dog-Toy (43%) Breed Info
111. Bichon Frise (43%) Breed Info
112. Cavalier King Charles Spaniel (43%) Breed Info
113. Alaskan Malamute (42%) Breed Info
114. American Staffordshire Terrier (42%) Breed Info
115. Poodle (toy) (42%) Breed Info
116. Greyhound (42%) Breed Info
117. Afghan Hound (41%) Breed Info
118. Shetland Sheepdog (41%) Breed Info
119. English Toy Spaniel (41%) Breed Info
120. Doberman Pinscher (40%) Breed Info
121. Leonberger (38%) Breed Info
122. Beauceron (38%) Breed Info
123. Cane Corso (38%) Breed Info
124. Tibetan Mastiff (38%) Breed Info
125. Tibetan Spaniel (38%) Breed Info
126. Toy Fox Terrier (38%) Breed Info
127. Xoloitzcuintli (38%) Breed Info
128. Affenpinscher (36%) Breed Info
129. Manchester Terrier-Toy (36%) Breed Info
130. Anatolian Shepherd Dog (36%) Breed Info
131. Miniature Pinscher (36%) Breed Info
132. Neapolitan Mastiff (36%) Breed Info
133. Norwegian Lundehund (36%) Breed Info
134. Bloodhound (36%) Breed Info
135. Siberian Husky (35%) Breed Info
136. Komondor (34%) Breed Info
137. Basenji (34%) Breed Info
138. Otterhound (34%) Breed Info
139. Boston Terrier (34%) Breed Info
140. Pug (34%) Breed Info
141. Silky Terrier (34%) Breed Info
142. Dandie Dinmont Terrier (34%) Breed Info
143. Greater Swiss Mountain Dog (34%) Breed Info
144. Italian Greyhound (34%) Breed Info
145. Japanese Chin (34%) Breed Info
146. Chow Chow (33%) Breed Info
147. Dachshund, Mini (33%) Breed Info
148. Bedlington Terrier (32%) Breed Info
149. Bouvier des Flandres (32%) Breed Info
150. Chinese Crested (32%) Breed Info
151. Great Pyrenees (32%) Breed Info
152. Irish Wolfhound (32%) Breed Info
153. Old English Sheepdog (31%) Breed Info
154. Maltese (29%) Breed Info
155. Newfoundland (29%) Breed Info
156. Brussels Griffon (29%) Breed Info
157. Kuvasz (27%) Breed Info
158. Lowchen (27%) Breed Info
159. Mastiff (27%) Breed Info
160. Bullmastiff (27%) Breed Info
161. Yorkshire Terrier (27%) Breed Info
162. Parson Russell Terrier (Jack Russell) (26%) Breed Info
163. Papillon (25%) Breed Info
164. Saint Bernard (24%) Breed Info
165. West Highland White Terrier (24%) Breed Info
166. Norfolk Terrier (23%) Breed Info
167. Skye Terrier (23%) Breed Info
168. Pomeranian (22%) Breed Info
169. Dachshund, Toy (22%) Breed Info
170. Norwich Terrier (20%) Breed Info
171. Cairn Terrier (20%) Breed Info
172. Shih Tzu (20%) Breed Info
173. Chihuahua (20%) Breed Info
174. Rottweiler (17%) Breed Info
175. Great Dane (17%) Breed Info
176. Akita (15%) Breed Info
177. Miniature Schnauzer (13%) Breed Info
178. Lhasa Apso (8%) Breed Info
179. Pekingese (8%)

MyLittleAprilSunshine Mon 10-Dec-12 02:02:42

Oh also note Pug and Chihauahua quite low for percentage of what you would want.

Plus they do tend to have a lotta health problems.

Hope this helps smile

^ to take test for yourself ^.

onceisneverenough Mon 10-Dec-12 04:26:35

Some good advice on here already. I have worked in rescue centres, for a breeder, at a boarding kennels and have rehomed some rescue dogs myself privately that rescues did not have room for and where the dogs needed extra 1 to 1 attention. I also have 5 dogs myself.
Giving a needy dog a home is always the ideal but you shouldn't feel pressured into getting a rescue dog if you would rather buy a puppy of a breed of your choosing. Rescue dogs need more training and often come with their own set of behavior problems that wont have been apparent in a kennel situation, such as being very destructive in the home, not being 100% with strangers or being very poorly trained. Sometimes far worse if the dog was badly abused or neglected. I would not rule out you getting a rescue dog entirely if your partner has a lot of experience with dogs, but from what I have gathered I think choosing a breed that will fit in with your lifestyle and approaching a reputable breeder would be the best choice for your household.

I would not recommend you accepting the chug puppy, some of my reasons are the same as many other posters, the dog is of a breed that is more likely to be snappy also being small it could easily be stepped on or injured. Also because I think given your situation with your 10mo and house training it may not be ideal at this time of year. If you were to take on a puppy next year in the summer you would be able to leave the back door open. Also again in the summer months when the weather is nice you will be able to enjoy taking the dog for a walk and sitting outside more.

If you were to wait it would give you time to save up for a puppy that came fully registered, vaccinated, wormed and with 4 weeks free insurance. It would also give you time to do plenty of research and narrow down a list of breeds you like and that are suitable. It would also give you time to do any work that needed doing such as making the garden dog proof. You would also be able to work out a doggy budget e.g insurance, vaccinations, wormer, food, toys, puppy classes.

Please think very carefully before you take on any animal.

merrymouse Mon 10-Dec-12 06:22:07

You are approaching one of the most demanding times for children - when they are newly walking - and you are going back to work. Cut yourself some slack and don't get a dog.

At this age your DS would be happier with a cuddly toy, and your DP, while wanting a dog, from what you say, is not in a position to look after the dog. I can tell you that without any doubt the generous person making a huge sacrifice would NOT be the friend offering the dog at a discount, it would be you. Looking at your current life stage, I do not think you are in a position to do this.

CabbageLeaves Mon 10-Dec-12 06:38:09

My initial reaction to this thread was one of sighing because I've never ever seen a poster advised to get a dog. It's always the same response that they are too difficult, too expensive, not compatible with children or working and usually a few personal insults and assumptions thrown in (you sound, unprepared, totally unsuitable...should never have dogs)

However in amongst the usual posts there has been some great advice and I really think it should be taken.

I have always had dogs, always rescue dogs. However, I wanted my last dog to be 'chosen' not someone else's cast off or a problem pup. Dithered and dithered wondering about my situation (work, children, cost, reliant on others for pup care). Based on this thread I might never have gone ahead.

Eventually took on a 'rescue' of a dog someone else didn't want (3yrs old) because he moults (who da' thought eh?)

He's slotted into our lives and been my best most beloved dog ever. Enjoyed by extended family, he sleeps next to me now and is contented, calm and fantastic with DC.

All good.

What it has taught me though is that my yrs of coping with unsuitable breeds, poorly bred dogs, poorly socialised dogs etc was just a horrible experience of dog ownership. It's great if there are people who can rescue those and give them good homes. I'd never do it again (maybe when retired and plenty of time on my hands?)

I would really recommend a considered purchase. A breed or cross that has recommendations. I share the chug ewwww. It's not a promising hint of health. Vets bills can run into hundreds very quickly.

Sounds like the parents are social animals so that is good, but I'd still consider choosing rather than acquiring because this dog is being waved under your nose.

A dog should be for life and can be a burden not a joy. Choose one when it will be

FreddoBaggyMac Mon 10-Dec-12 06:49:53

I would wait a couple of years until your DC is older, and also I'd recommend getting a puppy at the beginning of summer for housetraining reasons (you will be outside with them a LOT of the time!) We got a puppy about four months ago and my youngest DC is three, and I think it would have been more difficult if he was younger. You'd never be able to leave the puppy alone with your DC as it's in their nature to chase and nibble you with their very sharp teeth (until you train them to do otherwise which takes a while!) Working a few days a week would not cause too many problems providing you give the puppy lots of attention at other times.

lotsofdogshere Mon 10-Dec-12 09:09:35

I wouldn't do this for all the reasons given above. Pugs/Chiw crosses probably = very high maintenance both behaviourally and health wise. I've been there in returning to work, with a young baby and dogs already in the family. It is entirely possible, but very demanding. The first 12 - 18 months of a dogs life tend to be the time you really need to put the effort into training them. House training is easy, usually achieved within 2 - 4 weeks but you need to be totally vigilant. Out for a wee every half hour initially, and after every feed (4 a day). If you have a crawling baby, it will be a challenge to stop the baby crawling into a new puddle, or worse. So many of these cross breeds combine the best and/or the worst of the original breed. I'm not anti cross breed in any way, but I do worry about the trend for so called "designer" dogs, as so many of them end up in rescue before they reach their first birthday. Often between 7 - 10 months because they get bigger, more lively, nipping and need lots of consistent, patient input to help them learn more acceptable ways of behaving. If you really want a dog, wait until things are more settled generally, getting one at Christmas, alongside your return to work is a recipe for disaster.

TimeyWimeyStuff Mon 10-Dec-12 09:27:55

Does your DP know that it is specifically a chug being offered? I ask because, in addition to all the very good points about health and behaviour of this type of dog, I wonder whether it's the sort of dog your DP has been dreaming of. Might sound shallow, but if he is to invest time, money and love in this animal as well, it has to be what he really wants as well as you. You said upthread that it was the type of dog that would suit you. I know my DH would be horrified at the prospect of a small "designer" dog. Why is why we have two rough and ready rescues. One of whom came to us no questions asked from a stand-alone animal shelter that I desperately had to get him away from (even though they knew we had a small child).

Please look into rescue. A retired greyhound or similar might better suit your circumstances. When not being walked (run) they love to laze around all day.

But, overall, you really don't sound ready for this at all. I'd pass on the current offer do some more research, then choose the right blend for the whole family. smile

Paiviaso Mon 10-Dec-12 10:06:42

I would say you shouldn't do this simply because the puppy doesn't sound like it is coming from a good source.

A "chug" (why are they breeding this cross??) that you will get for not very much money - why is not very much money? Is this because they haven't done any health testing? From the info you've given us, it sounds like some unneutered family pets were thrown together to make some puppies, which they are selling for some very undeserved £££.

If you are going to buy a puppy, please buy one from a breeder who is knowledgeable, health tests their dogs, researches their lines, knows their breed inside and out, and is dedicated to breeding healthy, happy dogs that conform to their breed standard. This way, you will know what temperament and characteristics to expect from your dog, you will know the dog will fit into your family, and you will hopefully end up with a dog that will be with you a good number of years smile

LadyPenelope Mon 10-Dec-12 15:28:16

I would caution waiting. I had never owned a dog and our family just got a puppy. She is a great breed for families - good temperament, Intelligent, etc. she is a friendly puppy and does all the stuff puppies do ... Bites and chews, jumps up, nips. She has company all day bar v short periods and we spend a lot of time training her.

My DH does most of hard work. Gets up at 6 to walk and train her, walks her in evening, does vet appointments, does all reaserach, takes lead with training, orders food online etc. this was our deal as I was certain I could to take on another responsibility. I was happy to be back up but not be the one in charge. ( that's me for rest of family and I also work full time)

But she is a lot of work and adds an added complication and new logistic to our life. I would defintely not do it with child your child's age, or working outside home. Even with gates etc, it is not so simple to keep puppy safe and out of trouble. Our puppy is crate trained which has been great. Means she will happily go in crate for a short time with some toys if we need peace to do homework, bath kids, go on phone, have noisy boisterous kids over for play date.

I love the puppy and she has brought a lot of pleasure to our family. However,my initial instinct that I did not want the responsibility was right. She is a lot of work and you have to be ready for the work. If you are not used to dogs( as I was not), the puppy biting, jumping, growling etc, can be v disconcerting. You will be the one dealing with that until the training kicks in.

Don't want to spread doom and gloom, as our pup is also v sweet and now a firm part of the family, but I am relieved we did not do it sooner and glad my DH is able to shoulder the main part of the work.

Whoknowswhocares Mon 10-Dec-12 16:45:09

There is a very good reason why the rescue centre will not let you have a dog! Those with considerable experience have decided your son is not the right age to introduce a dog to the family.
Why would you decide that as a complete novice, you know better than them? Yabu.

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