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to find dh disgusting

(50 Posts)
Pinkforever Sun 09-Dec-12 02:00:54

dh went into town to meet a friend for drinks at 6pm.just rolled in and is steaming.our ds woke up and callee because dh couldnt walk from taxi.when i asked dh why he was in such a state and where had he been he. told me repeatedly to fuck off.again our ds heard this.he has just been sick.i think in our bedroom and i will have to clean it up.aibu to be disgusted with himr?

AgentZigzag Sun 09-Dec-12 02:04:00

YANBU and I have every sympathy for you.

I'm not sure which bit is the worst, the telling you to fuck off or the barf in the bedroom.

What will it be like tomorrow in your experience of him.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 09-Dec-12 02:13:14

Is this a one off or is he frequently drunk and abusive?

Pinkforever Sun 09-Dec-12 02:16:24

i think he will not give a shit and will brazen it.out.he will use the excuse that he never goes out and i go out a lot whicis true.however the last time i got in a state like he is was 5 years ago when he left me in the hall unconcious.he will use that as a stick to beat me with.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 09-Dec-12 02:19:38

What about the 'fuck off's? How will be brazen that out?

Pinkforever Sun 09-Dec-12 02:19:51

he used to have a huge problem with alcohol but has calmed down a lot over the past few years.i actually encouraged him to go out.probably should not have gone fishwife at him and i did tell him to fuck off back.to his mothers.

rhondajean Sun 09-Dec-12 02:22:19

Oh jeez pink (( hugs)) how can he bring up to youthst he left you unconscious? Or did I misread?

Pinkforever Sun 09-Dec-12 02:26:51

yep i was passed out and was then sick and he stepped over me and went to bed.i made sure the kids never saw me though and have never been in that state again.he will just turn it round to i am a nag and how he only goes out once a year.

MrsTerryPratchett Sun 09-Dec-12 02:29:33

I think you need to talk about it calmly when he is sober.

rhondajean Sun 09-Dec-12 02:35:50

Yes. No one is perfect but really, some if us learn from it eh?

Monty27 Sun 09-Dec-12 02:38:22

Don't clean it up, sleep somewhere else. Leave him to do it tomorrow.

DozyDuck Sun 09-Dec-12 06:08:11

Tbh if it was me, it's only once a year, I wouldn't have nagged in the first place. He was out of order saying 'fuck off' but the getting drunk and being sick once a year isn't exactly a hangable offence is it? Really? confused

Thumbwitch Sun 09-Dec-12 06:11:12

Being sick in the bedroom is out of order, so is saying fuck off in the hearing of your children; getting drunk once a year I could forgive, despite the steaming state of him.
But the first two - nah, fuckit, he's no business calling you a nag - you're justified in being really pissed off over that.

WandaDoff Sun 09-Dec-12 06:16:01

He's a prick; Or he's doing a cracking impression of one anyway.

Don't think I'm too far away if you're needing a friendly face hen x

BlueSkySoftSand Sun 09-Dec-12 06:33:36

My dad always told me to never argue with a person when drunk. It gets you nowhere and can only cause more problems.

Wait till the cold light of day when there head feels like it will explode then rip them apart discuss.

AbigailAdams Sun 09-Dec-12 06:52:03

Pink this isn't the first (and nor will it be the last) time you have posted about you H. He is abusive when sober so this isn't alcohol related. He isn't going to get better. Do you really want to put up with this shit for the rest of your life?

Pinkforever Sun 09-Dec-12 09:16:46

i am up making kids breakfast.i heard a lot of noise during the night and when i went to see what was going on he was running a bath but didnt even know where he was. there is sick in the sink and a sick covered tshirt and towel left on the floor.havent even gone into our room but have opened all the windows.

ImagineJL Sun 09-Dec-12 09:29:03

To be honest I think that drinking so much that you're sick is something adults should grow out of before they have kids, and telling eachother to fuck off is not exactly nice for the kids to hear either. I never cease to be amazed at how much people are prepared to allow their kids to witness.

Pinkforever Sun 09-Dec-12 09:36:34

gee thanks for that imagine.i didnt tell him to fuck off.of course i didnt plan for ds to see dh in that state.my ds found it funny that his dad couldnt walk.i dont.

DingDongKethryverilyonHigh Sun 09-Dec-12 09:36:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bradyismyfavouritewiseman Sun 09-Dec-12 09:39:06

and i did tell him to fuck off back.to his mothers.

You posted this ^^ op.

GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr Sun 09-Dec-12 09:41:23

Why start arguments with a drunk when the kids can hear? So the kids heard you tell him to fuck off? So who woke the kids? You or him?

You were the sober one, did it occur to you that for the sake of family peace and your kids you could just let him get to bed without screaming?

How do you know your kids did not see you laying in your own sick in the hall?

I think the two of you seriously need to grow up. And it seems you should have considered leaving him long ago.

Pinkforever Sun 09-Dec-12 10:03:26

i told him if he spoke to me like that again he could go live with his mother.i know my kids didnt see me as they were fast asleep and i made sure i cleaned up before they got up. yeah because its so easy to leave a marriage when you have no money and no where to go right?...

bradyismyfavouritewiseman Sun 09-Dec-12 10:10:21

op my point is, you get shitty with people because they comment about you telling him to fuck off.

The only reason anyone thinks you told him to fuck off, is because that's what YOU said.

This is clearly an unhappy marriage. You need to start making a plan to leave. And stop posting on aibu if you don't want opinions. Perhaps 'relationships' maybe a better place to post? If its support you are wanting.

in aibu, you will get opinions.

GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr Sun 09-Dec-12 10:13:35

"because its so easy to leave a marriage when you have no money and no where to go right?..."

People do leave bad marriages even if they have no money and nowhere to go. People also make excuses why they cant leave, and the above is one of them.
Others plan, save money, find a job, and move on.

Which category do you fall in to?

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