to reject a Christmas Present before receiving it

[hatgirl]

DM phoned me this morning for a general gossip and to ask what I wanted for Christmas as today is the last day she intended to do any Christmas shopping. I replied saying that there are few larger purchases I intend to put any Christmas money towards (tradition in my family is not to spend a great deal on each other, just a few stocking filler type things to unwrap on the day but my DPs always give me and my siblings about £50 each in cash as well) DM is fine with that but asks if there is anything smaller I would like to unwrap on the day. I say... "urm well if i'm honest I will be happy with anything just don't get me any more scarves" because for the last three or four years both her and my sister have both got me a scarf each and I just don't wear them! DM laughs and says a bit disappointedly, oh, well that is the only thing I have bought you so far... but I will give it to your brother's girlfriend instead. Now I just feel a bit rude and ungrateful (I wouldn't have said it if I thought she had already bought me it)... but also very pleased I won't have to pretend to be thrilled by yet another scarf (we've agreed on an electric toothbrush instead ) . AIBU and an ungrateful cow or in times like this when money is tight should everyone be a bit more honest with people rather than everyone wasting money on unwanted gifts.

[ChippingInAWinterWonderland]

Honesty is better - it's just a shame that she'd already bought the scarf - you weren't to know that, but I'd assume this close to Christmas, when she had already said she was going out to get the last few bits, she might have already had some in, so wouldn't have said anything - but would have in October next year

[Jingleflobba]

Well you didn't actually know that she'd already bought you a scarf when you asked her not to get you one so YANBU. your Brother's girlfriend gets a lovely scarf to open and you get what you want.

[Aspiemum2]

YANBU at all. Buying someone the same gift several years in a row though (especially if you've never seen them wear them) come on!!
I think it's good you said something, she'll probably never buy you a scarf again . You can send them to me if you like (so long as they're not the woolly kind). I have heaps and always love getting them!

[BackforGood]

YWNBU, as you didn't really reject it, as you weren't to know she'd got it, and she did ask. At least she knows now, and, as she's already indicated, something like a scarf is fairly generic and can be used for another person.

[Floralnomad]

YANBU she asked you what you wanted and you told her ,lets hope the girlfriend likes scarves!

[hatgirl]

Aspiemum - i've probably been a bit too enthusiastic about them in previous years because both she and my sister have very good taste and have bought me lovely scarves so I haven't hated them on sight but have found that I very rarely wear them and DP is getting annoyed at the amount of space my 20+ scarf collection is taking up (DM got me one for my birthday this year as well which with her permission I exchanged for a purse) My brothers girlfriend is about 15 years younger than me (probably not but it feels like she is) and is more of a pink fizzy wine person which is what I am now getting as well as the toothbrush instead of the nice scarf.

[2rebecca]

She asked you told her. I think she was a bit mean telling you she had bought you a scalf after you had said she didn't want one.
You didn't reject it as you haven't been given it yet.
My mum had a habit of coming out with a list of things she didn't want on xmas eve unasked for which was off pissing, especially as when asked earlier what she wanted she'd be vague and say "nothing" "anything " and not give any lists of things she didn't want.

[ChristmasSpiritEndorphins]

No, it was lucky because you got to put a halt to the scarves! In a awkward yet not really rude way. You didn't say you hated scarves, so no, not rude.

[fluffygal]

YANBU OH bought my present when I was at work the other day, but used my amazon account so email confirmation was sent straight to me! Anyway, it was a shite present, so I told him I got the email and he should cancel the order (which he did bless him). Didn't want him to waste money on something I didn't want!

[hatgirl]

Visited DPs today and got shown said scarf. Narrow escape, rare hatgirl style misjudgment on the part of DM (although FatFace and still lovely - on someone else!).