To wonder at expression "No good deed goes unpunished"

[janelikesjam]

I think this may be an "Americanism" - I've seen it on JudgeJudy alot anyway.

But am puzzled too. It means, basically, that if you do something good or nice, someone will always throw it back in your face and make life hard for you as a consequence! The kind of opposite of "virtue is its own reward".

Is this a very cynical expression? Or sadly accurate?

[AmIthatTinselly]

I've never heard of that before

[SpoonyFuckersWife]

Really AmI ?

I wondered the same, op. kind of opposite of what you would expect from doing something good.

[AmIthatTinselly]

Yes, really. Never heard of it, but am equally puzzled.

What a depressing thought, though. Surely every good deed has a positive outcome all round

[Iamsparklyknickers]

I wonder if it's meant in the same way as 'the road to hell is paved with good intentions'.

So it's about thinking whether or not your intervention is needed or if you're being a busybody.

[HollyBerryBush]

Its an idionym (I think thats how you spell it)

I was feeling sorry for a homeless person one wet morning on the way to work, so when I bought my coffee and breafast, I bought him one. My good deed for the day, I thought. When I got into work, i knocked my cofee over my keyboard.

So my good deed was punishable. Dunno why though.

[Iamsparklyknickers]

...or whether the person is deserving of your help.

[janelikesjam]

Here is an example (real-life example BTW).

You become chair of nursery PTA, you do alot of work in your new role, raising money etc. Then you are cornered by some deeply unpleasant mothers who (perhaps set up by someone with an axe to grind) angrily attack you for not raising enough money. This, despite you doing all you could, and them doing absolutely nano, zippo, niente!!!

It is a depressing though AmI, though I think generally believe in "positive outcome all round"

[SirBoobAlot]

Its become more popular as its a song from Wicked.

Someone will always resent you for trying to help.

[janelikesjam]

Its becoming v. popular SirBoob, though I didn't know that reason Wicked.

Fair point.

[booboobeedoo]

I always thought it meant the opposite, so the good deed is "punished" with another good deed, like karma. Maybe I am a naive optimist!!

[MyLastDuchess]

I've generally heard it used as a way of saying, "It's a shame that such&such had to happen when you were working so hard to do something nice," if that makes sense. When I have said it/heard it said, it wasn't so much meant cynically, more, "Oh, that's bad luck, how unfair" sort of thing.

[janelikesjam]

Booboo, I think the original expression is actually ironic, the opposite of getting something nice for doing something nice!

[NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems]

Well if, for example, you lend somebody your car [a frequent occurrence on Judge Judy] then there is a high probability that the car will be returned damaged, written off, not returned as apparently the person you lent the car to viewed it as you 'gifting' them the car or they sold it on. Oh and the friend never wants to reimburse you for the damage etc done to the car while in their care...

So you do a friend a favour and they throw it back in your face. Of course I could just be talking shit

[MMMarmite]

I thought it meant that once you do one favour, you get asked for more and more favours. Like if you help out with a group, suddenly they ask you to be group secretary and help out every week. I've usually heard it said in a lighthearted, resigned way.

[janelikesjam]

Yes, I'm thinking its almost like saying - yeah do something nice - but don't forget to play hardball as necessary! Difficult combination

[janelikesjam]

Ah lightearted, missed that important bit!

[SpoonyFuckersWife]

Oldbag I would post the bill for the valet to that boys parents. Disgusting.

[MrsjREwing]

You know that is so true, I never thought of it like that before.

I thought yesterday I was going to get a negative back and I got a lovely ending.

A small kindness. I was getting a napkin in Sainsbury's cafe and a small girl was straining for mustard, I asked if she wanted help and handed her some, off she went with a lovely smile. I am slow so by the time I got to my seat there she was, she came to thank me, it was so sweet, I thought she was going to give me back the mustard or ask for more help and I was dreading the having to say no as it would cause me pain to help her another time.

[janelikesjam]

Yes sorry OldBag missed that post re. your DP. Some hardball necessary at times? Then again sometimes there is a bit of natural justice, I mean you're unlikely to offer a lift again, or your son's friend any further hospitality, and your son will have a more negative picture of him to boot?

(Personally, I would have still driven it home to the parents of how awful it all was ... perhaps that made no difference)

[janelikesjam]

Crossed post.

[PessaryPam]

I think its like this ancient Chinese Proverb "Why do you hate me, I haven?t helped you?".

In theory, it attempts to portray how, when you help someone, it tends to be resented. Probably due to the person in need being ashamed for needing help.

[YoucanringmySleighBells]

A good deed like saving someone who tries to jump from a building and you injure them. You have saved their life but the sue you anyway...