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Partners ex refuses to buy dsd a new bra....

(128 Posts)
humptydidit Sat 08-Dec-12 12:23:28

Briefly... Dp's ex recently made a payment of £1000 through CSA for arrears accrued over the last 5 years. His regular payments from CSA have been £50 per month so this was a great unexpected windfall.

Dp went out and bought dsd and dss christmas presents (an x box and a tablet computer thing), took dsd to a martial arts competition (costing approx £100 in total), paid dsd's martial arts training fees for the month (£50) and generally stocked up the cupboards ready for christmas etc etc.

As you can imagine, it has mostly gone now.

Cut to today, dsd is out shopping with her mum. We are being bombarded by dsd and ex-wife by texts demanding that dp pays for a new bra for dsd (15). Dp said no based on the fact that he is off work at the moment and money is tight and also that dsd has at least 3 other bras in the correct size in her drawer which she refuses to wear because they are not padded enough hmm

dp eventually agreed to go halves on the bra but that wasn't good enough and is now getting it in the neck because of the £1000 payout.

AIBU to think that if ex-wife agreed to take dsd shopping, then she should at least go halves on it? Especially since it is an extra, not an essential.

humptydidit Sun 09-Dec-12 16:12:55

Thank you for all your comments. Even the ones saying me and dp were in the wrong are helpful to see things from a different side! grin

To clarify, dsd currently has 3 padded bras, including 1 super dooper ultra padded one.

Dp has basically disengaged from ex-wife and ignores her mostly beyond basic contact regarding the kids, but when she keeps throwing the £1000 arrears payment back in his face it makes my blood boil.

In response to those who said it was foolish to buy kids expensive christmas presents, perhaps it was... Dp paid back the money for the school uniforms and the school trip, he borrowed it from family before he got the £1000. The payout from ex=wife meant that christmas has been paid for without getting into debt which is the first year ever, and I'm sure we are not alone in that situation!

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 09-Dec-12 16:17:16

Of course you are not alone in that.

Unfortunately your dp is experiencing what loads of pwc do. The whole I've paid csa bah blah blah it's crap but he will know in future to account for it happening

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 09-Dec-12 16:18:12

Throwing the arrears back in your face is ridiculous...she should have paid it when she was supposed to! Stupid woman.

I don't think having 5 bras is that excessive. She's a teenage girl,she wants to have pretty things,I don't see the harm. Maybe she wants a particular bra to wear under certain clothes? Take her off to Asda/Tesco/Sainburys. They all sell nice bra's that aren't excessively expensive.

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