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AIBU to be getting myself in such a mess over this (re loss of sentimental items)

(128 Posts)
WhereTheWildOnesSnow Sat 08-Dec-12 10:37:09

2 days ago I lost/misplaced 3 rings, my engagement ring, my wedding ring and a ring passed onto me from my grandma that was made with my mums ashes.
I usually wear all 3 but due to health problems my fingers have been sore so have been taking them off indoors, I haven't been anywhere so they must be here somewhere.
I have pulled the whole place apart, my gran died earlier in the year and gave me the ashes ring, I feel terrible, I can't stop crying, I literally feel like I must be being punished, I am tired of bad stuff happening, I feel sick. Do I need to "get over it" I am going from rationally thinking they can't have disappeared to thinking they must have.
A lot has happened this year, my gran was diagnosed with cancer and had died within 6 weeks then I suffered a miscarriage, I felt like I was coming through the other side after a tough time and a long history of depression, now I feel a mess.

This has probably gone on far too long but even if noone reads it, it felt good to get it down, and thanks to anyone who does manage to read it.

Now back to searching!

VitoCorleone Sat 08-Dec-12 11:03:04

I hope you find your rings.

When my nana died my granda kept her wedding ring on a chain necklace, when he died i was given the ring. When i moved house i couldnt find it anywhere, i was absolutley distraught thinking it had been thrown out.

I found it 2 years later.

WhereTheWildOnesSnow Sat 08-Dec-12 11:05:24

Will get DH to pull fridge out later, checked all washing plus machine/dryer, for them to all have got lost I MUST have put them somewhere! I've checked the Lego boxes, completely gone over the bathroom.
Going to sit down for an hour now and try not to worry about it, it's giving me a headache!

TheNebulousBoojum Sat 08-Dec-12 11:08:35

Have you thought about telling everyone, including your DS, that you have asked santa to bring your rings back as a present?
My money is on DS having collected them because they are so special. If he remembers where they are, then he can give them back. Unfortunately he may not remember. <voice of experience>
Mine used to bury stuff in the garden.

AlwaysWantingMore Sat 08-Dec-12 11:09:00

When I lost mine they were in the rubber seal of the washing machine - i'd slipped them into my pocket making the dinner and chucked on a load of laundry that night. I was distraught for days though!

I hope they turn up. If not, try not to be too sad. Possessions can be replaced, you still have photos and memories of those you love. If you really really can't find them, I would have a quick 'conversation' with your mum and gran in your head just to say 'I'm sorry I lost the ring but you know how much I loved you'. Otherwise I would be carrying around guilt at losing it, and they wouldn't want that for you. But I really do hope you find them soon.

Thumbwitch Sat 08-Dec-12 11:10:30

I would
a) unwrap the presents and check
b) really really grill DS and check his room - how old is he, btw? Only asking because DS1 managed to swallow DH's wedding ring earlier this year (apparently he was pretending it was a steak hmm) - he'd never swallowed a wrong thing before in his life, and when he's 4.5 he decides to start?!
If your rings have spiky bits on, I doubt he's managed it without feeling it (DS1 choked on a plain gold band but still managed to get it down - it came out 4 days later)
c) keep checking the same places over and over - I lost a set of keys a few weeks ago, kept going back to the shelf where I was sure they had been - and after the 4th return, managed to see them when I'd been missing them the first 3 times (God alone knows how!)

I really hope you find them. If it's any consolation, my Mum made me a necklace with the initial of my first name, which I lost while in rented accommodation. Searched high and low for it - three house moves later, I found it in a bag of knitting.shock (Doesn't say much for my ability to finish off knitting...)

Good luck!

SpoonyFuckersWife Sat 08-Dec-12 11:11:30

I really hope you find them, op. it's horrible to miss something sentimental. They must be in the house somewhere, just keep that thought in mind,

Have you tried looking in handbag linings? My mum couldn't find her key once and turned the house upside down, turned out her handbag lining had a hole in it and it had slipped in there. Same as carrie in satc with her necklace smile

Montybojangles Sat 08-Dec-12 11:43:23

Hope you find them. Did a similar thing a while back and it turned up about 3 months later somehow in a sock at the bottom of the drawer.

WhereTheWildOnesSnow Sat 08-Dec-12 11:47:11

Well after some of the suggestions here I checked inside the sofa (had to rip the bottom stuff a bit but never mind) and managed to cut 2 fingers and ripped one nail half off after catching it on something metal in the back of the sofa (ouch)
Have checked handbag.
Checked all kitchen drawers and fridge.
Presents under the tree (can't check the kids hidden presents until tonight).
Have spoken to DS and I'm 99% sure he hasn't touched them.
Looked inside the open doors on the kids Lego advent calendars.
Checked under all furniture.
Emptied Hoover bag.
Even just checked the branches of the tree.
Will keep looking though, it's good to hear some people do find things- even if it's a long time.

ZonkedOut Sat 08-Dec-12 11:52:04

A friend lost her engagement ring and found it months later, inside an umbrella she rarely used, but had happened to use that day. Some time later, she opened the umbrella and the ring fell out.

Good luck.

ISeeSmallPeople Sat 08-Dec-12 11:53:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsMushroom Sat 08-Dec-12 11:58:13

Go room by room....stick to one room at a time and imagne you're a police detective. Check inside hoover

SpoonyFuckersWife Sat 08-Dec-12 12:24:31

Pretend you're looking something else smile whenever I'm looking for something, another thing I was looking for yonks before turns up!

MrsWoodforTrees Sat 08-Dec-12 12:41:31

I've done the losing my engagement ring in the washing machine thing.

Also I lost a pair of earrings and was convinced I had thrown them out but they turned up a week later on a high shelf where I had put them so they wouldn't get lost.

Check bins & wastepaper baskets etc bofore bin day so that you know you haven't accidentally thrown them away , then if they are in the house you will find them .

Good luck - don't despair

Lilicat1013 Sat 08-Dec-12 12:44:54

They have to be there someone so it is only a matter of time before you find them. They will turn up somewhere, try not to worry.

RedHelenB Sat 08-Dec-12 12:47:07

Second checking the b8in carefully before the binmen come. Lift sofa up & shine a torch under it both on the floor & actually under the sofa as dd 's two phones got caought in the sofa that way.

SDTGisAChristmassyWolefGenius Sat 08-Dec-12 13:17:25

It sounds a bit 'woo', but it is supposed to help if you say out loud the thing you are looking for.

Also, if there is a possibility that your ds has hidden them, might it be worth offering a small reward for whoever 'finds' the rings - then, if he has hidden them, he can 'find' them.

YuleBritannia Sat 08-Dec-12 13:48:27

My DH lost his wedding ring. His fingers had become thinner so we think it came off that way. He also used to take it off to wash up and for his bath. That was about 5 years ago. We never found it. We looked in pockets, in gloves, under pillows, in bedside drawers, in U bends, everywhere. Might be in the garden for all we know.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Sat 08-Dec-12 13:52:15

I reckon your DS knows where your rings are. smile

YANBU for being upset, btw

scrablet Sat 08-Dec-12 14:42:15

My DH lost his wedding ring a few times. Once at the beach, he had been skimming stones and it vanished.sad faces all round but the North sea a bit big to search. A week or so later, I was turning out the 'baby' bag, and there it was tucked into a pocket, must have come off while he was grabbing a juice carton.

I have more, BRB

Don't despair, they will turn up...

seb1 Sat 08-Dec-12 15:13:34

I am always losing things (my DM would say "you would lose your head if it wasn't stuck on"). Grab yourself a cup of coffee, sit down and close you eyes and think about when you last saw them and try to think what you did afterwards sometimes when I do that I get a flashback moment usually when I have put them somewhere really stupid. Also try and stay calm (easier said than done I know) but I never find things when I am flapping and hyperventilating (like I normally do). HTH, they will turn up, probably somewhere you have already looked and you think you are losing your marbles grin

ChristmasSpiritEndorphins Sat 08-Dec-12 15:14:09

Have you checked all your pockets of anything you have worn recently? Coats, sweaters, jackets, bathrobe, aprons etc.? Beside hand lotion or in laundry room? In freezer? All purses or handbags?
My son thought his ring was in the deep freeze, but it was in a tool box, dh found it months afterwards.

WhereTheWildOnesSnow Sat 08-Dec-12 15:17:31

Thanks so much everyone, haven't found them yet but you've all cheered me up a little.
Not going to look any more today, will try again tomorrow.
Not long after we married DH lost his ring 3 times, once in a bag of plaster and wallpaper, once he accidentally launched it down the high street on a night out and the last time it was in the garden, in a snowman.

Angelico Sat 08-Dec-12 15:21:05

Check the radiators or anywhere else your DCs might have 'posted' them. My SIL found her wedding ring inside one of those electric fan heater things - DD had pushed it in.

ViperInTheManger Sat 08-Dec-12 15:22:31

Don't give up hope. My DM lost her engagement, wedding and eternity rings many years ago, the house was searched from top to bottom and eventually an insurance claim made. Years later she was clearing out a wardrobe and found the rings inside a hat, she still has no idea how they got there.

quoteunquote Sat 08-Dec-12 15:28:22

Have you checked in all the cups and glasses? People often pop them in bowls or vases, near sinks.

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