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AIBU to be getting myself in such a mess over this (re loss of sentimental items)

(128 Posts)
WhereTheWildOnesSnow Sat 08-Dec-12 10:37:09

2 days ago I lost/misplaced 3 rings, my engagement ring, my wedding ring and a ring passed onto me from my grandma that was made with my mums ashes.
I usually wear all 3 but due to health problems my fingers have been sore so have been taking them off indoors, I haven't been anywhere so they must be here somewhere.
I have pulled the whole place apart, my gran died earlier in the year and gave me the ashes ring, I feel terrible, I can't stop crying, I literally feel like I must be being punished, I am tired of bad stuff happening, I feel sick. Do I need to "get over it" I am going from rationally thinking they can't have disappeared to thinking they must have.
A lot has happened this year, my gran was diagnosed with cancer and had died within 6 weeks then I suffered a miscarriage, I felt like I was coming through the other side after a tough time and a long history of depression, now I feel a mess.

This has probably gone on far too long but even if noone reads it, it felt good to get it down, and thanks to anyone who does manage to read it.

Now back to searching!

delilahbelle Sat 08-Dec-12 10:38:47

Say a prayer to St Anthony?

Seriously, I know how awful it is when you lose things, I've got my fingers crossed they turn up soon. Could DH or DCs have moved them somewhere safe?

CollieEyeOfNewt Sat 08-Dec-12 10:39:28

Oh god. I hope you find them.

((((Hugs)))) even if we don't do that here

OrangeLily Sat 08-Dec-12 10:40:38

My mum did this a few years ago, took her over a year to find them but she did! Inside the lining of te sofa they were about to chuck out. I think they will eventually turn up!

LadyMargolotta Sat 08-Dec-12 10:41:20


Look between the pages of a cookery book. That's where the last mumsnetter found hers.

KenLeeeeeeeInnaSantaHat Sat 08-Dec-12 10:41:49

You poor thing sad I would be in pieces too, so I certainly don't think you just need to get over it. I hope they turn up soon.

ChippingInAWinterWonderland Sat 08-Dec-12 10:42:21

Of course you aren't being unreasonable getting so upset. I would be completely beside myself.

I'm sorry you have had such a horrible year, I hope the new year is much kinder to you x

However, to find them you need to calm down. As you say, you took them off at home and haven't been out since - they can't be far, but if you go around tearing up the house you will make it harder on yourself. Lay down, close your eyes and think about where you were when you took them off.

Have you asked your DH if he's picked them up and 'put them somewhere safe'?

I hope you find them soon.

WhereTheWildOnesSnow Sat 08-Dec-12 10:44:41

Thanks ladies, I feel a bit pathetic now reading that through, there are worse things going on in the world.

DH has helped me look, he promised to spend another hour today when he gets home from work. DD was out when they went missing and DS 5 said "I'm definitely actually sure I don't know where your rings are mummy"

I seem to be looking in the same places over and over again, even going to search the wheelie bin again when DH gets home.

MrsMushroom Sat 08-Dec-12 10:44:59

Yanbu....why don't you go room by room and sytematically take each one apart. first look on top of things....then underneath and behind.....then inside....move furniture and lift edges of rugs. DH has this thing when we lose close your eyes...try to clear your mind of EVERYTHING....even the rings....and then you walk to them....your legs just take you there.

It;s amazing how many times things are found.

Floggingmolly Sat 08-Dec-12 10:45:32

You poor thing sad. I lost my wedding ring a couple of years ago, and it turned up under the sofa cushion weeks later.
Bizarre really, as it was a tight fit and I didn't intentionally take it off.
They're in the house somewhere.

HassledHasASledge Sat 08-Dec-12 10:46:02

I completely understand - I'm incredibly sentimental over items, especially certain things that belonged to my parents. It IS a big deal - of course you're upset. I really hope they show up soon.

WhereTheWildOnesSnow Sat 08-Dec-12 10:47:42

Thanks for the responses by the way, DH said I need to relax but it's really hard, I have ME and find it hard to empty my mind anyway.
Anyway, thanks for the lovely words, I wrapped some presents the day I lost them, I'm tempted to unwrap them all just incase!

Floggingmolly Sat 08-Dec-12 10:48:28

Oh, I've just read your ds's comment! You know him best, but my brother, over 20 years ago hid my mum's engagement ring in his treasure box like a flaming magpie. He only owned up and returned it months later and he was 9 at the time hmm

Svrider Sat 08-Dec-12 10:49:20

I think with everything that's happened you NEED to cry
Don't try to stop it
Don't feel silly

Have a tea, and biscuits

When you are feeling calmer, try and recreate when you last had the rings

Stand in the same place
Did you pop them on top of the cabinet?
Are they in with washing, ready to go upstairs?
Did you pop then in a vase?

If this doesn't work first time, try and get on with your usual chores, and the place you've put them may just pop into your head

Be kind to yourself op, you do sound very down

cozietoesie Sat 08-Dec-12 10:49:40

Poor you. I know how it feels losing things like that, even temporarily. All the bad things in your life are focussed on the event.

My earnest recommendation would be to stop searching soon. If all three have gone missing, you've put them down somewhere and they're covered up with something so will reappear when you least expect it. All you should do is live/clean/tidy as normal but just be very sure to check things with a fine tooth comb before they're thrown out.

Best of luck with finding them.


WhereTheWildOnesSnow Sat 08-Dec-12 10:50:09

Floggingmollie hmmm better check DSs room just incase I think!

thebody Sat 08-Dec-12 10:50:58

Hugs hugs hugs... Yes unwrap those presents.

thebody Sat 08-Dec-12 10:52:46

Oh and yes check ds room.

ChippingInAWinterWonderland Sat 08-Dec-12 10:52:51

"I'm definitely actually sure I don't know where your rings are mummy"

There is your answer grin

I highly suspect a bit of 'Gee DS, where do you think my rings might hide if they wanted to trick me' type stuff will have them found very quickly.

cozietoesie Sat 08-Dec-12 10:53:10

Ah - I overlooked DS's comment. Sounds like he's fibbing wildly doesn't it?

I'd search his room as well. Especially look in the cabs of toy trucks or that sort of 'special place'.

WhereTheWildOnesSnow Sat 08-Dec-12 10:55:10

Svrider you are right about the needing to cry, yesterday it all came out, plus DD (9) is not dealing with the death of her GGM well and she is still grieving hard, trying to be brave for her hasn't made things any easier.

Thanks for all ideas and suggestions, will be trying them all later.

ProbationProbationProbation Sat 08-Dec-12 10:56:05

Gloves or laundry, I always loose mine that way. It's horrible when you can't find so something, things like this drive me to the edge of my sanity. Hopefully though if you lost them inside, chances are they will be found. And for you to have lost all three at once, you may have taken them off without even realising, I do this ALOT!!

Really hope the turn up.

Iheartpasties Sat 08-Dec-12 10:58:06

fingers crossed for you

shinyrobot Sat 08-Dec-12 10:58:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jojane Sat 08-Dec-12 10:59:28

I lost me weddin ring whilst wrapping presents a couple of years ago, definitely worth unwrapping even of it is a pain

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