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to think my SIL should drop her baby round..

(86 Posts)
oaks2012 Fri 07-Dec-12 21:12:04

My brother looked exhausted the last time I saw him, turns out he is up from 5.30 in the morning to look after the baby so SIL can get some rest as she is with her all day (Baby sleeps from 11 till about 5.30 when she wakes for a feed)..

I offered to take the baby for a day / night to give him a break.

The following day, SIL texts saying can I baby sit so she can go into town for something the following week. The time she needed to go into town coincided with a time I take my 2 year old to a playgroup. I said if she wants to drop the baby round (where she was going is 15 mins away from where I live) and I can take baby with toddler to play group.... she didnt want this, wanted me and my 2 year old to travel to her house, which is an hour away, sit indoors and watch the baby there.. What makes matters worse is their cramped flat is NOT toddler friendly at all and hard work on its own.....

oaks2012 Sat 08-Dec-12 10:01:29

Adversecalendar - The point is that she TELLS me she cant get out of the flat with out my DB, but in fact, she has been out, I feel its an excuse for me to go to her. I said maybe she could thinking about getting a smaller, easier to manage pram (she says the pram is too bulky for her to get out of the flat) however, she replied "this is the royals royce of buggys, im not getting a different one".

oaks2012 Sat 08-Dec-12 10:03:24

Im not a pushy person, I will quietly make a suggestion, and if its not listened to - I just leave whoever it is Im talking to to do it their way. I just feel in this instance Im being bullied and guilt tripped into things.

ifyouknowme Sat 08-Dec-12 10:19:19

Why on earth did you post here if you didn't want to be told you're being unreasonable? You sound like you've got a lot on your plate, and I hope you are okay, but you seem to be really against yourSIL when she has a brand new baby, is 10 hours away from home and her MIL doesn't like her.

oaks2012 Sat 08-Dec-12 10:24:32

I dont mind being told Im being unreasonable - but all the other things arent really necessary are they?! There have been people that have said that I should cut her some slack, which I probably needed to hear.. But its hard to see at the moment. The people in here that have said all the other things are just behaving exactly the way they are accusing me of behaving!!!

Ive learnt my lesson about posting in here tho!!

flow4 Sat 08-Dec-12 10:30:55

oaks, you really don't want to do this for your SIL, and you have good reasons... So just don't. I don't think YABU, but even if you are, it doesn't matter. If you don't want to do something thismuch, don't do it. It won't be good for anyone.

SleighbellsRingInYourLife Sat 08-Dec-12 10:44:44

She is not 10 hours from home.

Her immediate family live nearby and seem to have a weekly rota of helping her out.

But she needs the OP to dance attendance too. hmm

ChaoticforlifenotjustChristmas Sat 08-Dec-12 11:01:23

The SIL is not 10 hours away from home.

Her extended family (cousins, aunts) are 10 hours away. Mum, dad and siblings are here. Mum stayed at the house for first 2 months, siblings each do a day a week there.

OP YANBU to not want to baby sit at theirs.

RubyrooUK Sat 08-Dec-12 13:54:16

Fair enough oaks I wasn't trying to offend you by asking if you were jealous - it just sounded like you were really annoyed about a lot of things to do with your SIL and that was how it read to me.

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Sat 08-Dec-12 14:41:25

You know what OP, I posted upthread - YANBU

After your later posts - YANBU still.

I don't see how you're being a bitch tbh.

Oh and not every lazy person is depressed.

I'm lazy and I'm not depressed.

cinders005 Sat 08-Dec-12 15:09:16

YANBU. SIL seems really needy. No way would I expect dp/h to get up at 5.30 to give me a rest. If I slept 11 till 5.30 I would be in heaven. (have a 3 month old too)
You are very kind to help. She should work around you.

cinders005 Sat 08-Dec-12 15:10:05

Obviously she could have pnd.

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