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To ask if I'm rude or if DB IBU when I comment and joke about how bad his financial situation is?

(51 Posts)
CaptainCrimbo Fri 07-Dec-12 13:00:02

It seems as though I have inadvertently upset a family member. Things have been very tight financially for DB and his DW. For example, only being able to afford to go abroad on holiday once a year, having to buy supermarket's own produce, having an old car etc. DB is doing temping work at min wage and his DP is on more, but not earning a wedge. They live in a small house, don't have much disposable income. They can only go away for the weekend maybe three or four times a year max, they don't buy many new clothes and things like that.

Apparently I've been rude because I make a lot of comments about how I know they haven't got much money, and told them a new car will financially cripple them. Joking about how DB's wife shouldn't get her hopes up about Xmas presents from DB because of their financial situation isn't very nice either according to DB. They had a new carpet fitted and I jokingly asked how they could afford it, because DB hasn't got a real job and they've got no money. Apparently I'm being thoughtless and rude. confused I'm not being nasty, but it's true, they are in the shit financially.

AIBU? Was I was rude, or are they just being overly sensitive? I think they just need to grow thicker skins. I think DB is being ridiculous, but I'm also prepared to be proven wrong.

CogitOCrapNotMoreSprouts Fri 07-Dec-12 13:01:40

YABU. Rubbing people's noses in their misfortune is really bad form.

MurderOfGoths Fri 07-Dec-12 13:02:43

Reverse AIBU?

Turniphead1 Fri 07-Dec-12 13:03:06

hahaha. Very funny.

MissCellania Fri 07-Dec-12 13:03:55

Reverse aibu? I hate those.

HECTheHallsWithRowsAndFolly Fri 07-Dec-12 13:04:00

People on here don't generally like reverse AIBUs grin

WorraLorraTurkey Fri 07-Dec-12 13:04:03

Hahahaha! Are you for real?

zlist Fri 07-Dec-12 13:04:04

I was thinking the same - reverse AIBU.
Anyway, YABU.

NoKnidForABed Fri 07-Dec-12 13:04:07

Joke? Reverse AIBU?


meddie Fri 07-Dec-12 13:04:17

You are being very rude. I am sure they are fully aware of their financial situation and constantly reminding them of it is really nasty.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 07-Dec-12 13:04:31

Are you joking?

A holiday abroad and 3-4 weekends away a year doesn't sound to bad.

You on the other hand sound like a thoughtless

LimeLeafLizard Fri 07-Dec-12 13:04:46

Is this a reverse AIBU?

They don't sound that poor tbh - someone who 'has an old car, buys supermarket own brands and only goes on holiday once a year' sounds quite normal!

ClippedPhoenix Fri 07-Dec-12 13:05:06

Hmmm, I actually think you have been rude, unintentionally but rude all the same. Why should they grow a thicker skin? Maybe you should tone down the type jokes you dish out.

AntsMarching Fri 07-Dec-12 13:05:07

Is this a reverse?

thenightsky Fri 07-Dec-12 13:05:09

Wow... you sound awful.

Geekydiva Fri 07-Dec-12 13:05:25

Sometimes it's easier to take the mick out of people when you're not going through the same thing so see it differently to how they see it. Like for example their financial situation might be stressful to them and they are trying to make the best if their situation so could possibly be a sore point for them.

KazzaRazza Fri 07-Dec-12 13:05:30


How dare you comment, joking or otherwise, on someone elses financial situation.

I am in a real financial mess and would be devastated if my DB or anyone thought it was funny to laugh at me.

I just hope you never end up in financial straits and someone decides it's funny to laugh at you.

Grow up!

LimeLeafLizard Fri 07-Dec-12 13:05:34

oh. Whoops. X posted with all the other people who thought the same thing!

AntsMarching Fri 07-Dec-12 13:05:41

Oops. Massive x post

bradyismyfavouritewiseman Fri 07-Dec-12 13:06:48

You are either a bitch or this is a reverse aibu.

If its a reverse its not objective enough so perhaps YABU even then.

OutragedAtThePriceOfFreddos Fri 07-Dec-12 13:08:33

Wow, you sound horrible!

And if its a reverse AIBU, then you are simply being a twat. I hate reverse AIBUs!

PrincessMononoke Fri 07-Dec-12 13:08:33

Is this a jokey thread about a tv show or summat like that ?

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack Fri 07-Dec-12 13:08:46

Rude rude rude.

OnTheBottomWithAStringOfTinsel Fri 07-Dec-12 13:09:01

So, if this is a reverse AIBU, you are not doing too badly financially, but your DB and SIL insist that you are broke and are constantly rubbing your nose in it, and you're being told you're too sensitive diddums and should lighten up?

I'd tear them a new one (and post here as a normal post, not a reverse one!)

ChazsBrilliantAttitude Fri 07-Dec-12 13:09:35

If this is a reverse please put us out of our misery now as they are getting a bit tedious now.

I would never comment on anyone else financial situation and spending habits especially if I was in a better position myself, there is almost no way you can do it without sounding superior / smug/ judgmental etc.

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