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AIBU to think you might consider prostitution if you are on the your your arse knees?

(91 Posts)
ElfBabies Thu 06-Dec-12 22:59:26

I have been skint properly skint and have thought about 'selling my body'

Lucky I have never got to that place, but if I ever do would I be wrong and dirty for doing so or sensible and clever for securing an income?

ClippedPhoenix Sat 05-Jan-13 01:18:18


happynewmind Sat 05-Jan-13 01:17:10

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WorraLiberty Sat 05-Jan-13 01:14:16

Clipped I hate to scare you but we could well be sisters grin

ClippedPhoenix Sat 05-Jan-13 01:11:52

My dad used to say keep your hand on your ha'penny and your cab fare home worra grin

WorraLiberty Sat 05-Jan-13 01:08:48

Oh see you let yourself down with the 'honey' and the 'baby' grin

That in itself is a reason to keep your hand on your ha'penny if you end up talking that way...

ClippedPhoenix Sat 05-Jan-13 01:08:10

I'd be a dominatrix, my privates are just that grin

Wouldn't mind making them lick my shoes and whipping them though, I'm sure it's probably better paid.

WhoreOfBabylon Sat 05-Jan-13 01:02:58

Name change to jump in on this one. Eighteen years ago I was in a dire financial situation and was offered the chance to work as an escort. After a long chat with the friend who told me she'd been doing it I decided to go for it; the money was the motivator but the thought of the experience of sex-for-money was also quite a heady one. My first client was a middle-aged fat-bellied butcher who treated me well and gave me £120 for sex. I can't underestimate the feeling of having that money just for a fuck! I was 26 at the time and very sexually active so I did enjoy (most) of the sex. I worked for a year until my debts were paid. Over that year I did 13 'jobs' between 7 clients. I had one who was a foot fetishist who loved to paint my nails then wank himself off. I had a very powerful man who loved me to blow him after totally humiliating him. I had an S&M return client who paid me £600 to tie him up and physically and emotionally abuse actual sex was involved with him.

I had the choice of whether or not i did a job and there was one who's 'narrative' during his blow job I could have done without. On the other side, i had a client who treated me like a princess, was interested in my brain as well as my body, and actually made me cum. Yes, there are risks, but not really anymore than taking a man home who you meet in a bar/club.

What you need to ask yourself is why sex-for-money is seen as immoral. It's foundations are in institutions of control of women's sexuality, ie. religion, patriarchy, the state. Liberal and pro-sex feminism gives women space to DO WHAT THEY WANT WITH THEIR BODIES. Take charge of your sexuality and do what you need to do. Don't let other women's opinions influence your decision. Exploitation? Bollocks. When you're pulling the strings and they're paying you for it, it's the men that are being exploited honey.

The fact that you're considering it tells me that you could do it if you wanted. Not everyone can. But it's not called your 'money-maker' for nothing baby!

Feel free to PM me if you want to chat further.

bellarose2011 Mon 10-Dec-12 10:54:33

Tailfeathers. It is possible to do without becoming a fucked up junky. But depends on wether you can handle it or not and you need to really think about if you really can.
I have 2 close friends who are escorts and seem to be happy and successful, sometimes i envy there life. Make sure you go with a good agency who really care about your safety. Or would you consider the sex line work?
In your shoes i would threaten to take your employer to a tribunal, i dont mean to be horrible but it seems like your letting them not pay you without kicking up a fuss. If they cant afford to everyone why are they choosing a single mum with a baby not to pay?

gloomy1 Mon 10-Dec-12 09:05:15

fellow shipoffestivemodels reading your story about your friend found it sad it seems it started where she was on adult channels then got so caught up in it that it turned rotton girls who start of inthe trade thinking it,s going to be easy money never is there lifes are taken soul destroyed a sad example of what could happen. to the op question i don,t think it,s dirty has there are horrible rotten to the core people who are worser than prostitutes.

flow4 Mon 10-Dec-12 08:40:56

Altikum, prostitution is not a moral issue - it's an economic one.

flow4 Mon 10-Dec-12 08:09:39

Peahen (I'm at risk of hijacking the thread, but this is important) if you resign, you almost certainly will be refused benefits/JSA (it is called 'being sanctioned'). You will have to prove you had 'just cause' for leaving, and that takes time, and if they do not accept that your reason for leaving was good enough, you could be refused JSA for up to 6 months. Direct Gov info here. You may also have your tax credits stopped, so you'd be penniless. Don't do it without taking legal advice first.

If they don't pay you on Weds, it might be better simply to stop going in to work, and to start legal proceedings against them. You definitely need to take advice from a lawyer and/or the CAB. And maybe post in MN Legal for more ideas/advice?

AltinkumATEalltheTurkey Mon 10-Dec-12 07:16:38

No, no amount of money would make me sleep with other men.

My marriage is worth more than that, as is my self morals.

PeahenTailFeathers Mon 10-Dec-12 07:13:44

I'm considering it right now sad. I work but, as of this Friday, I won't have been paid for 3 months (I'm barely surviving on tax credits). I don't think my employers can afford the number of staff they've got and because I stupidly became very close to them, they make excuses for not paying me when I ask for my money, although everyone else has had their wages. If I don't get my outstanding wages on Wednesday I plan to resign, but I don't know where I will stand re benefits if I make myself voluntarily jobless so if I have to turn to prostitution to get money for 6 month old DD, I will.

AdoraJingleBells Mon 10-Dec-12 01:52:00

Briefest I also won't flame you, or anyone esle who got to the stage of feeling it was the only option.

I can't imagine any situation where I would do it, but if DDs were starving I know I would do anything to get food. I actualy know someone here (abroad, no benefit system) who did this after her husband walked out and left her homeless and penniless. She's not a friend as such, just soemone I know. I really can't understand why she took this route when she has a large close knit family and group of friends. Non of them are wealthy, but none of them would have seen her and DC starve.

DoingItOnTheRoofTopWithSanta Mon 10-Dec-12 01:02:42

Yes, if I couldn't feed my children any other way. As a very fucking last resort. Anyone would if it came down to it

septemberskies Mon 10-Dec-12 00:38:19

I've considered it seriously, to the point of calling ads for escorts and meeting up with the guy in charge. It was an agency that targeted businessmen in hotels and I already knew a girl who did it, so I was confident that I would be physically protected and the clients would be at a reasonable standard of grooming etc. But I realised that, despite being less than fussy about who I slept with back then, I just couldn't have sex with someone I hadn't picked out myself.

I wasn't hungry or on the streets, but I was on benefits and I enjoyed an active (and casual) sex life, so it seemed like only one step to get paid for doing something I was enjoying anyway. But it was a step too far for me personally. I have done other sex-related things for money though, including text services, which I didn't see anything morally wrong with, but it was an unreliable income.

The benefits I was on, were easily enough to keep me fed and sheltered, so I can't imagine being in a situation when I would have to do it to avoid my dc starving. I would have used the money for an improved quality of life - nicer clothes, consumer goods - stuff you can't afford on a low income but wouldn't be covered by benefits.

flow4 Mon 10-Dec-12 00:06:19

I hadn't seen your post Briefest (so thanks for drawing my attention to it, AnyF). I wouldn't flame you either. And I bet you're not the only person here who's done it, even if you're the only one saying so.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Sun 09-Dec-12 23:34:40

Briefestnamechange I just wanted to say I saw your post and I would never flame you. I am sorry, and I hope things improved for you

FellowshipOfFestiveFellows Sun 09-Dec-12 21:43:37

Exactly that fatlazymummy. The thing is, she was so strong, funny as anything, my dneph fancied the pants off her at one point, she cut down and told him he was too up his own arse, it was hilarious. Then overnight she turned into someone I didn't recognise. She would have done anything for her ds pre meeting the tosser she met. Cos he didn't hit her, she thought the world of him, and lost everything.

I hope, truly hope, she sorts it all out. But I can't see that at the moment.

FreudiansSlipper Sun 09-Dec-12 21:27:15

how sad for your friend Fellow sad

i can be very un emotional when it comes to sex but someone having sex with me thinking i am just dirt who cares nothing about how i feel who is going to fuck me next if i am enjoying it is very different from someone who has no other feelings for me than just wanting to have sex with me

fatlazymummy Sun 09-Dec-12 21:21:18

Fellowshipthanks for the reply. It sounds as if your friend was very vulnerable and was let down by the advisers at the job center.
Hope things improve for her.

FellowshipOfFestiveFellows Sun 09-Dec-12 20:59:04

I think she just didn't want to end up in a dead end, unskilled, crap paying job, and didn't get the advice she could have had. Nursing was something which would have given her a secure job. She had been in care as a kid, had just got out of an abusive relationship, her Mum's idea of doing the right thing for the family was to teach her two daughters to shop lift, and she just wanted to do better. Her education was non-existent, she was sharp as a knife but got appalling GCSE results due to bunking off and not turning up for exams.

I know it sounds like the last resort, but she decided to use what God gave her in terms of her looks to do something she felt was harmless on the telly, she wore undies and never got her clothes off at that point. If you look at any of these shows on Sky, you can see any number of young, pretty girls on them.

flow4 Sun 09-Dec-12 20:33:48

I have sometimes thought I would sooner sell sex than work in Tescos or another minimum wage job... It's not a moral issue for me; it's a practical and emotional one.

But the reality of prostitution is almost always much harsher than anyone can imagine: prostitutes are not generally empowered, independent, self-employed, well-paid, happy and safe, and providing well for their children; they are much more likely to find themselves desperate, afraid, trapped, pimped, forced, threatened and beaten, drug-addicted, getting no payment for sex because they owe 'debts' to their pimps, and losing custody of their children.

It's not a co-incidence that so many of the women selling sex are actually illegal immigrants, drug addicts, people with mental health issues, under age, or otherwise vulnerable. Generally, women who sell sex are pretty desperate. sad

Bogeyface Sun 09-Dec-12 20:06:31

Never say never.

If it was genuinely a choice between my kids going hungry or having sex for money, i would do it.

And I am surprised that there are people who can't imagine being so absolutely without a way to feed their children and say that they would never ever consider it.

Latara Sun 09-Dec-12 20:03:59

fellowship yes, i wondered the same as fatlazymummy - HCA work for eg. pays well if you join the right agencies; & HCAs often get on the job NVQ training.

Agency HCAs get better rates if they are student nurses; especially if people work on the Bank at their training hospital.
The hours are very flexible so ideal for mothers.

So definitely prostitution was nothing like the only option - lots of my single parent colleagues can testify to that.

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