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to not want my friend to bring her 6mo to our Christmas meal?

(1000 Posts)
forbiddenfruit85 Thu 06-Dec-12 21:25:30

Be prepared I have my judgey pants on.

We have organised our meal for the weekend before Christmas. Friend is bringing her 6mo baby because the one and only time she has left him, he refused to take the bottle.

She has since then never bothered to try again. My baby took ages to take to the bottle too so I know how hard it is, but I persisted and eventually we got there.

The table is booked for 8 and we will be there is probably at least 10 so its going to be late. The restaurant is fully booked so it's going to be noisy. I just don't feel this is a great environment for a baby.

aibu to not want her to bring him along?

(she has a bf and they live with his family so there isn't a shortage of people willing to look after him)

kinkyfuckery Thu 06-Dec-12 21:27:21


It's none of your fucking business if it's not your ideal environment for a baby. If the restaurant allow it, the parents are happy and I assume she can't detach her breasts for the night, YABVU

HumphreyCobbler Thu 06-Dec-12 21:28:43

I took my babies to restaurants at that age, or I wouldn't have been able to go. I wouldn't have stayed if they had cried though, but basically they slept in their car seat under the table and it was fine. Just once or twice for a special occasion, I didn't make a weekly habit of it.

I am glad your babies took to a bottle, but I couldn't be arsed with all the faffing with DD. Maybe your mate doesn't want to bother?

AmberLeaf Thu 06-Dec-12 21:28:58

But her BF and family don't have milk filled breasts do they?

Some babies don't take to a bottle.

What would you like her to do? not come or spend the next couple of weeks working on getting the baby taking milk from a bottle?

whois Thu 06-Dec-12 21:29:02

I can see why you want to just see your friend without the distraction of a baby, but you are sounding a bit of a cow about it!

GreatCongas Thu 06-Dec-12 21:29:11


DowagersHump Thu 06-Dec-12 21:30:31

You can not want her to bring him but I doubt it's really going to impact on your enjoyment of your meal. What's so awful about taking a baby to a noisy restaurant?

I'm failing to see what the issue is here.

tunnocksteacake Thu 06-Dec-12 21:30:35

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LynetteScavo Thu 06-Dec-12 21:31:23

If the baby sleeps in his car seat, having fallen asleep on the way, why will it bother you?

If the baby is overtired and whingy, then it will be better off at home in bed.

Your friend knows her baby best, and I doubt she would bring him if she thought she would have to spend the evening trying to settle him and not enjoy herself.

Having someone to babysit, and someone willing to look after a screaming baby who won't take a bottle are two very different things.

So yes, YABU.

Come back and tell us afterwards how the baby was. I am prepared to eat my words.

dexter73 Thu 06-Dec-12 21:31:24

I would be a bit miffed as bringing a baby will change the whole dynamic of the evening but I wouldn't say anything. However she can't feed her baby any other way so I can see that she wants to bring him. It will only be for a couple of hours and he will probably sleep through the whole thing (for some reason babies often seem to sleep very well in noisy places!). Just enjoy your evening!

harrietspy Thu 06-Dec-12 21:31:32

My ds1 would never, ever take a bottle despite everything I/we tried. YABVU, I'm afraid.

SantaisBarredfromhavingStella Thu 06-Dec-12 21:31:44

Oh dear, see where you're coming from-really I do but still, YABU.

ZebraInHiding Thu 06-Dec-12 21:31:44

Meh. I took my baby on nights out and she just slept. She was a boob monster so I wouldn't have been able to go out otherwise. It's not like she is going to be rolling drunk as she is bf'ing. It is a restaurant, not a night club!

honeytea Thu 06-Dec-12 21:32:30

YABU, would you rather your friend was on edge and worried about her baby the entire evening?

The meal isn't even at your house I can't see why you think you have any right to have an opinion.

My friends come over every couple of weeks with their baby, we sometimes play rockband which is very noisy, that is when the baby is most likely to go to sleep, she loves the load noises.

ravenAK Thu 06-Dec-12 21:32:41

Gosh, all mine loved rammed restaurants when they were tiny bf things.

It's a useful window between not being able to go out because your boobs keep exploding & none of your clothes fit & you haven't slept in weeks (first few weeks), & not being able to go out because your pfb is liable to run around the restaurant screaming & smashing stuff (1 year - well who knows).

Wind yer neck in. If she has to leave early because her dc isn't happy, that's the risk she's running. Totally not your problem!

Kinora Thu 06-Dec-12 21:32:59

Very judgy but I would feel the same blush

Fakebook Thu 06-Dec-12 21:34:07

She has since then never bothered to try again

Why should she bother? Just for a shitty Christmas meal, she should have forced her baby to take a bottle? Hmm.

naturalbaby Thu 06-Dec-12 21:34:51

I see where you're coming from as well, but it's her night out as well as yours. What are you worried about - that you can't get drunk and swear loudly because there's a baby in the room?

GoldPlatedNineDoors Thu 06-Dec-12 21:35:14


If it was a lunch or early tea then yabu but it seems like a christmas 'night out' where there will be drinking, noisiness and not exactly a relaxing place for a baby possibly I am.fanatical but dd has always been in bed by 7pm

Why couldnt she feed before she leaves, come for the.meal (2hrs - 3 max) and go.home to.feed?

Meglet Thu 06-Dec-12 21:35:36


Let her go, her 6mo can have finger food to splodge around and will (hopefully) enjoy the attention and change of scene.

Fairylea Thu 06-Dec-12 21:35:47

V jealous of all these babies who sleep through going out!!! My ds is 6 months and seems to pop up wide awake the minute we set foot inside an eating place!And then screams or moans non stop... lovely smile

Yabu. Do you want her to come or not because if she can't bring the baby she will probably decide it's not worth the stress and stay home.

CheckpointCharlie Thu 06-Dec-12 21:36:29


GoldPlatedNineDoors Thu 06-Dec-12 21:38:24

Meglet there may be people.going on this night out who are looking forward to a chance to get a break from babies / toddlers / weaning etc so its hardly going to be the right atmosphere.

If it were me, who had a six month old simply couldnt leave i`d wish you all a great night and arrange a kiddy friendly daytime activity another day.

lovebunny Thu 06-Dec-12 21:38:49

you made your baby have a bottle for your convenience.
your friend breastfeeds and won't leave her baby behind.
she sounds ok.

HollyBerryBush Thu 06-Dec-12 21:39:14

YANBU iF it is an adult only meal.... eg works meal

Life does not revolve round children.

If she cant manage to seperate 'mum' and 'person' then she's in for a really sterile couple of years.

YABYU id its a friendship meal - we all have to put up with other peopel and their little peccadillos - still stand by the whole 'life does not revolve round children' thing though.

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