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baby shower?

(6 Posts)
allswellthatroswell Thu 06-Dec-12 17:57:02

My sister is expecting her first child, and I wanted to host a baby shower for her (did ask her in advance if she wanted one first as I know they are not to everyones taste).

She got married when I was 19 and I was viewed to be too young to organise a hen do so I really wanted to prove myself that I am capable of doing a good job of this.

Spent months planning it. Organised for her to leave the house so me and one of her friends could decorate the place, had games, bought favours, and I spent hours scanning baby photos of her to be played on a dvd with a soundtrack whilst the party was happening.

Her dh agreed that once they came back he would go upstairs and work or go out. Generally a baby shower is just for women.

However it didn't turn out that way, I felt like he totally took over and was there for the entire time. When one of the guests was leaving she thanked him and asked where he had got the decorations from etc ... not once was my named mentioned.

I don't expect everyone to bow down to me and be eternally grateful. But AIBU to feel abit offended by this?

SirBoobAlot Thu 06-Dec-12 18:01:26

Yes, you're over reacting. If your sister and DBIL said thank you, that should be enough.

TwitchyTail Thu 06-Dec-12 18:13:02

If you're in the UK, baby showers are so uncommon that you can't expect people to know the "protocol", whatever that is (eg just women). Your brother-in-law probably just thought it was a nice party and that he was being helpful. Just be glad your sister had a nice time and thank your brother-in-law for his input.

allswellthatroswell Thu 06-Dec-12 18:19:26

Yes I am in the UK, but I would definitely not say that baby showers are uncommon?

He said himself he would not attend as it was for and her friends (he knew only women were invited)

I more upset about the conversation and that he took credit for the food/decorations that I spent months planning.

1charlie1 Thu 06-Dec-12 18:40:29

I would be upset. Your BIL clearly took the credit for organising your lovely party, in front of guests. It's deceitful! If it were my BIL, I would have expected him to say, 'Don't thank me, thank the lovely aunt-to-be!' etc. I think that is the normal etiquette in cases like this. Surely it's not appropriate to take credit for something you haven't done, especially in the presence of the person who actually did it??
I wouldn't say anything though. Your feeling of offence will fade, and I'm sure your sister had a wonderful time, and was very grateful.
As for the female-only thing though, I'v been to two (UK) baby showers in the past year, and they were both attended by men as well as women.

1charlie1 Thu 06-Dec-12 18:42:01

Oh, hang on, I've just seen that only females were invited. Sorry. In that case, YANBU about that either!

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