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to not "do" thank you notes

(58 Posts)
Justforlaughs Thu 06-Dec-12 16:56:40

We have never got into writing thank you notes/ letters. We always thank people for gifts in person (if they are actually there at the time) or on the phone. Is that really so bad?

LindyHemming Thu 06-Dec-12 16:57:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FredFredGeorge Thu 06-Dec-12 16:58:01

Nope, it's fine. I'd go so far as to say normal.

Sleepwhenidie Thu 06-Dec-12 17:01:43

I don't get my judgy pants on if I don't get a thank you note, but it is so nice when I do get one (and I think even more so for people such as older friends/relatives buying for dc's) so I always try to do them.

tasmaniandevilchaser Thu 06-Dec-12 17:01:57

No, that sounds fine. You're thanking people, that's the main thing. If you didn't bother at all, then I'd be a bit hmm

I either thank when gift is given in person, call or send a little card.

It does niggle a bit when I've sent something by post and it isn't acknowledged at all, I don't even know if it's arrived.

catgirl1976geesealaying Thu 06-Dec-12 17:02:32


<hoicks judgey pants>

Sirzy Thu 06-Dec-12 17:03:04

As long as you say thank you it doesn't matter if its by text, call, card or message in a bottle!

Yama Thu 06-Dec-12 17:04:32


Mu1berries Thu 06-Dec-12 17:04:47

I do them for my parents' generation. To my own generation I should say or text my thanks.

hf128219 Thu 06-Dec-12 17:05:22

I always send a thank you note, or sometimes a text. I think its good manners!

Justforlaughs Thu 06-Dec-12 17:05:48

I just get the impression on here sometimes that it isn't enough to say "Thank You". Glad it isn't just me then

Tallgiraffe Thu 06-Dec-12 17:06:57

As long as you thank people somehow then it's ok. I personally do send them, and find it annoying if I don't hear anything after sending a present but am totally happy with a text / call.

helpyourself Thu 06-Dec-12 17:06:57

I feel really bad when new mums post me letters, and so please don't write, I'll see the photos on fb.
However the oldies get really aerated about this, so assume your name's mud around a certain generation hmm

bowerbird Thu 06-Dec-12 17:10:01

Sleep has it bang on. Ok, it's not absolutely necessary and I'm not hoicking pants judgy or otherwise. But it is SO lovely to receive a thank you note. These days life is a little harsh, so anytime you can spread love and cheer, I say do it.

gail734 Thu 06-Dec-12 17:10:08

In the five months since DD was born, I have written 60 thank you cards for new baby/christening gifts. I cannot go through it again at Christmas. My house is so full of baby tat, I'm starting to resent the gift-givers. One woman, a friend of MIL, has now sent three or four separate gifts. I think she likes getting the thank you cards. Every time I write one, I get another little present.

MaxPepsi Thu 06-Dec-12 17:10:09

depends on who you are thanking and what you are thanking for me.

Justforlaughs Thu 06-Dec-12 17:11:43

I'd love to get a "thank You" message in a bottle, though grin

Corygal Thu 06-Dec-12 17:12:14

As long as you do make the effort to thank in person/within a week, the medium doesn't matter. But waiting until you see someone eg 3 months later I wouldn't go for, not least because it doesn't give a wildly grateful impression for their time, cash and effort.

If you've had to be chased by the giver, that's a real cringer (who hasn't at least once tho'). IME not worth the shame and it is pretty universally seen as rude ie expect cheaper/no present next time.

bowerbird Thu 06-Dec-12 17:12:49

the oldies get really aerated about this

WTF? Ageist much?

laptopdancer Thu 06-Dec-12 17:12:57


I HATE getting thank you notes. I'd rather give and forget.

wineoclocktimeyet Thu 06-Dec-12 17:13:37

I think if someone has gone to the trouble to chose, buy, wrap and give a gift then its just good manners to write a short note (even 1 line will do)to say thank you.
Although judging by the number of people that dont, I think I am in the minority!
I'm mid-30's so dont think that makes me the older generation!

Corygal Thu 06-Dec-12 17:14:04

Gail - don't keep banging them out, you must be knackered.

Paste adorable pic of DC onto back of postcard, write 10 words, post. 3 or 4 letters is more than the soul can bear - and everyone loves a babe shot.

comfyclothes Thu 06-Dec-12 17:16:00

I never do thank you notes. I do always make sure I say thank you etc when I am given the presents. I then might send a text later just to say thanks again for the gif

CharlotteWasBoth Thu 06-Dec-12 17:16:05

Any medium will do so YANBU. But there are a couple of children I give presents to (by post) who very rarely acknowledge them at all. Not even a text.

I was brought up to write thank you letters (or thank in person). I do struggle with not getting any acknowledgement at all.

bowerbird Thu 06-Dec-12 17:16:13

Gail you are heroic! But don't do it again at Christmas. A text, email or phone call acknowledgement is fine - and get your DP/DH/Mil to help.

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