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to spend much less on one of my dcs than the others at Christmas?

(173 Posts)
handsandknees Thu 06-Dec-12 09:19:56

3 dcs - DD1(11), DS(almost 10) and DD2(7). I want to be fair. I try to be fair.

DD1 has asked for inline skates for Christmas. I've also bought her Trivial Pursuit which I know she wants but isn't expecting and few bits and pieces - books, backpack, t-shirt. DD2 has asked for a Design-a-Friend doll so she's getting that plus extra outfit for the doll and I've also bought her a doll's seat for her bike, and some bits and pieces. The extras are basically things they need which they would get anyway but I know they will like them. I've probably spent about £80-£100 each on them including stocking chocs etc.

DS has asked for a box of craft things, which will be only his and which he won't have to share with his sisters. He has specified paper, tape, string, stapler - that kind of stuff. I've bought a box and filled it up - I spent less than £15. I also bought him 3 books and some chocs but have only spent about £30 in total. He isnt that into books but I've tried to pick ones I think he will like. He loves chocolate/sweets so will be happy with those. He's never been interested in toys - he prefers to make things and I know if I buy more toys for him he will ignore them. He isn't interested in clothes either and doesn't need a new backpack.

The dcs have the same number of presents to open. Is this ok? Do dcs notice the value of gifts at this age or just the number?

LoopsInHoops Thu 06-Dec-12 09:23:32

Yes I think it matters. I would think about getting him something else craft related, or even better, tickets to something.

shewhowines Thu 06-Dec-12 09:27:44

It seems like he may already has a bit of an issue with his sisters and sharing/fairness. Presumably they will have access to other craft stuff through the year so it isn't really much of a present. I think he will feel a bit left out with only that. Perhaps give him a voucher for more stuff later in the year when "his craft stuff" has run out. I'd also try to buy something else to even things up.

At 10 he will know the value of things and will work out the unfairness. If he was younger it wouldn't matter but I think it does at his age.

Blu Thu 06-Dec-12 09:33:02

I would also get him something that will be a surprise. If he likes making things does he like Meccano, or Airfix kits, or Lego Techno?

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Thu 06-Dec-12 09:36:44

I think I would even things up a bit. You don't have to spend exactly the same, and there may be circumstances where a big difference is justified (say an 11 year old and a toddler) but here he is the middle one in age and will have a reasonable idea of costs. How about some cinema vouchers so he can go with his friends or something?

GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr Thu 06-Dec-12 09:40:18

Lego? BIG lego set? His present, much as he loves crafts, will make his little heart sink....

handsandknees Thu 06-Dec-12 09:44:24

Cinema vouchers could be an option, thanks for that idea.

He is really difficult to buy for. He has lego and meccano - plays with them very occasionally but literally all his spare time is spent "inventing" things from paper etc. Toys have always been wasted on him - biggest waste of money ever was the playmobil set which has gathered dust in his room for the last 5 years.

CajaDeLaMemoria Thu 06-Dec-12 09:44:42

Could you get to somewhere like Hobbycraft? Get him a few sets? They do some lovely glass painting, mosaic, character-building type sets for around £10, and then he'd have craft stuff that he loves and that keeps him busy.

Airfix is a good idea if he's got the concentration.

GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr Thu 06-Dec-12 09:46:09

Lego mindstorm?

handsandknees Thu 06-Dec-12 09:48:35

He doesn't like craft sets where you have to follw instructions - he wants to only do his own ideas! He did once get an airfix model and was excited about starting it then ended up in a rage because it didn't turn out how he wanted. But we could try again I guess.

handsandknees Thu 06-Dec-12 09:49:06

What is lego mindstorm?

piffpoff Thu 06-Dec-12 09:50:28

I do think it matters and as others have said he's old enough to work out the cost of things. I also think middle children in particular are more conscious of unfairness or favouritism shown to one child, my sister who is the middle child still brings up discrepencies in our Christmas presents (in favour of our younger brother) over 30 years later which I as the oldest never noticed.
With her it borders on obsession .

forgetmenots Thu 06-Dec-12 09:57:48

Why not get him a big box or chest and make sure he has a grown up (anglepoise style?) lamp, paper and pens, rulers etc for drawing his inventions, put the craft set in with it and maybe something else that could help him with it - a little camera to snap ideas? Folders with locks for him to keep his inventions secret?

I only say this because I was a bit like your DS when I was little. One yet I asked for a desk. Another year I asked for a filing cabinet (I wanted to write and draw my ideas and keep them all). Anything that feels like you are setting him up as an inventor will be appreciated. Clay for 3d models of his items? smile

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Thu 06-Dec-12 09:58:05

What about a DVD box set of his favourite films? Harry Potter or something like that? HMV had some really good deals on box sets advertised.

deXavia Thu 06-Dec-12 09:58:19

How about vouchers for the local craft shop - his supply will run out quicker than the toys for the others? Or can you fit a craft table in his room?

AnnIonicIsoTronic Thu 06-Dec-12 10:02:33

But crafting/ making is something you can take a lot further than Sellotape & string.

My Dd asked for a real woodwork set one year. It's been a bit of a drag supervising it - but since your other dc are older it might be less of an issue for you (it also needs some starter kits & balsa wood).

Or how about electronics hobby kits, so that his inventions could be accessorised with flashing lights, buzzers etc?

Badge stamper?


AnnIonicIsoTronic Thu 06-Dec-12 10:04:35

woodwork set

AnnIonicIsoTronic Thu 06-Dec-12 10:06:48

electronics (but you'd need to find uk supplier)

mercibucket Thu 06-Dec-12 10:08:30

You could get some really decent stuff from hobbycraft eg glass paints, acrylic paints, or fimo for making his own models

mercibucket Thu 06-Dec-12 10:08:30

You could get some really decent stuff from hobbycraft eg glass paints, acrylic paints, or fimo for making his own models

ginnybag Thu 06-Dec-12 10:13:10

I was going to say GamesWorkshop until you said he doesn't like following instructions.

Could you look at pottery, electronics, sewing or any form of needlework, woodwork etc.

What about sourcing crafting courses (for the school holidays!) for him? Taster days for things.

Like this:

handsandknees Thu 06-Dec-12 10:14:09

Thanks for all the ideas. Actually thought some people would say what I've done is ok - obviously not!

A lamp is a good idea. Also maybe a desk but don't really want to spend too much more. I like the look for the woodwork set but he would honestly be just as happy or happier with scraps from someone's skip!

handsandknees Thu 06-Dec-12 10:14:35

the look OF the woodwork kit.

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems Thu 06-Dec-12 10:14:58

If he likes making things from paper could you get him some origami items. I love making random things like that DSs room is not covered in origami fish, cats, cranes

Floralnomad Thu 06-Dec-12 10:16:06

I disagree I don't think it matters how much youve spent if he has got what he wanted . I've never price matched with mine (19 and 13) ,although they usually have a lot spent on them . I would be sorely disappointed if I thought my children would sit on Christmas morning adding up the prices of stuff. I think I would find that really ungrateful. I've always just bought what they wanted.

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