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(76 Posts)
123canyoucopyme Wed 05-Dec-12 21:42:02

I'm finding work really hard at the moment. I'm not meeting my targets and I'm feeling the pressure. Really feel like quitting but I think being a sahm would be really hard, plus DD loves her childminder.

Am going to Doctors tomorrow, do you think I should o off sick?


123canyoucopyme Sat 08-Dec-12 17:40:18

Have emailed the union rep who is now taking it further by talking to national rep.

I really hope it will get resolved.

I'm beginning to enjoy the thought of not being at work. Of course staying at home will be hard too x

ilovesooty Fri 07-Dec-12 00:15:53

Are the union getting back to you? You need support at regional level: not the school rep. As the procedures can now be completed in 4-10 weeks you really need to access help immediately. Pandemoniaa is right. If you're not proactive you might well find any decisions are not yours to control.

Pandemoniaa Fri 07-Dec-12 00:09:52

PS. Can I just second the warning about taking capability proceedings very seriously indeed. If your HT has sent you home it is not a good sign. If you are dismissed from teaching it'll mean a well nigh permanent career break.

Pandemoniaa Fri 07-Dec-12 00:07:42

I think you are very wise to take a break from teaching. To be brutally honest, I would not want my children taught by you in your current frame of mind and state of health.

But you've got to start making decisions yourself and not posting innumerable, identical threads on here asking the same questions again and again yet never actually taking any of the advice offered.

ilovesooty Fri 07-Dec-12 00:00:13

If your HT has talked about capability, you are not meeting targets and he sent you home the situation is serious. The new capability procedures brought in this year mean that the process of removing underperforming staff has been speeded up and capability procedures can continue while the teacher is absent through illness.

I would strongly suggest that you ensure the union gets to grips with your situation, and that you take their advice as you might not have much opportunity to resume your career if you are dismissed. As to the poster who said "teachers are always needed", I'm afraid that there are far more teachers out there than jobs, and the situation job wise in primary is very bleak in much the country. The same applies to supply. Any idea of a teacher shortage is, in most areas, a myth.

MammaTJ Thu 06-Dec-12 22:54:54

I am frustrated and cross that you post the same thing time and time again BUT, the last thing you need to be doing right now is looking after your FIL with dementia!!

Look after yourself, look after your DC, look after your DH. You cannot take on someone with dementia, it would not be fair on you or him!!!

Casperthefriendlyspook Thu 06-Dec-12 22:50:32

I have suggested to you before about taking a career break. Teachers here (Scotland) can apply for up to 2 years off for a career break. Why not think about doing something like that, spending the time to get well, and really think about whether you want to leave once you're well, and able to make decisions from a stronger place.

123canyoucopyme Thu 06-Dec-12 22:30:09

I have decided to take a break from teaching. I need to be confident with my DD and should spend time with her before she starts school. I know it will be difficult but work is extremely stressful

Sirzy Thu 06-Dec-12 17:07:16

I wasn't saying it in a nasty way against people here. I just think that for specific advice relating to her health she may find people over there who can give her extra support she needs.

Posting threads on AIBU is always going to risk mixed posts which isn't always helpful. Posting on MH is likely to be much 'gentler' at times when that is what the OP needs.

gordyslovesheep Thu 06-Dec-12 17:04:59

Sirzy while I understand the Mental Health forum would be useful I think you are being rather unfair on the peeps here - who have offered support and advice to the OP time and time and time again ...

also you have no idea what are own experiences are so it's hard to judge if we 'relate' or not

I don't think you needed chastise people

Sirzy Thu 06-Dec-12 17:01:08

Also post in mental health, there are people there who will be able to give you cyber help and support who can relate much better to what your going through than most people on AIBU

Sirzy Thu 06-Dec-12 16:52:43

123 DONT let anyone make you feel guilty for being off sick. You are ill, nobody would expect someone with the flu to carry on so as not to let anyone done and in the same way neither should you.

You need to focus on what is best for your recovery now. You have took a good step forward by seeking help and getting yourself out a situation which was doing nobody any good.

Hopefully in a couple of months you will be thinking clearly enough to make a decision about what is best in the long term

123canyoucopyme Thu 06-Dec-12 16:46:47

Headteacher sent me home and asked me to see GP so not my fault that I've been signed off sick

KinkyDoritoWithJingleBellsOn Thu 06-Dec-12 16:46:22

manic if that is how your school is covering, then they are being unfair. School have insurance to put cover into place. It would be reasonable to use colleagues to cover for the first couple of days of absence but not for a longer period. Plus, under work to rule and rarely cover, you shouldn't be expected to do it and you can say no. Making it seem like the op's responsibility - when she is obviously ill - is unfair. It is your school who decides to manage absence poorly, it is not the fault of the person who has had to go off. You are also U for assuming that people with mental health issues have a choice about whether to carry on.

manicinsomniac Thu 06-Dec-12 16:33:29

I think it depends on what kind of school you work at - if, like mine, it's one where the other teachers cover your lessons in their non contacts rather than call in a supply teacher then please don't go off sick in the last 2 weeks of term, it's so stressful and annoying for everyone else around you who is already stressed and anxious at this time. I've lost count of the number of non contacts I've lost this week to do other people's work and, sometimes, it's almost enoug to push you (general you) over the edge.

If you could get a supply teacher in however, and you genuinely feel ill, then yes, I don't see why you shouldn't. If you have a mental illness then medication might fix the problems entirely. I have a mild form of bipolar and anorexia and nobody's ever complained about my teaching. Drugs aren't a sign of weakness. In fact they can stop you being weak by keeping you at work, doing your job.

KinkyDoritoWithJingleBellsOn Thu 06-Dec-12 16:32:20

You will be on full pay whilst signed off, so continue to leave DD with childminder so she is still in her routine until you make a concrete decision.

Do not make a concrete decision until you have started taking meds.

Take meds for 4-6 weeks to help you to settle down.

Try and rest. Do not start filling your time with caring responsibilities - you aren't well and you need some care.

Keep getting signed off until you feel more settled. There is nothing stopping you deciding you still want out a month or two down the line, but at least give yourself some time to heal before you make a life changing decision. When the cloud lifts, you might really regret it.

Good luck. smile

123canyoucopyme Thu 06-Dec-12 16:22:38

We think if I look after her full time we could afford for her to go to the childminders 2 afternoons a week. Then when she's at childminders I can go look after my father in law who has dementia

Sirzy Thu 06-Dec-12 16:20:55

Can you take it day by day in that sense? Or send her in for half days at first and then see how you get on?

123canyoucopyme Thu 06-Dec-12 16:18:15

I think I will have her with me when I'm off sick, then I can see if I can manage. I hate being so weak

Inclusionist Thu 06-Dec-12 15:51:26

Are you going to keep your DD home with you while you are signed off?

Didn't this all start months ago with you asking whether it would be unreasonable to leave your DD in her care setting for the whole of the summer holidays because you didn't think you could take looking after her for 7 weeks?

CinnabarRed Thu 06-Dec-12 13:39:19

I have every sympathy for anyone struggling with either a wrong career choice or mental health issues. But, OP, that last post sounded really grabby. Did you mean it that way? Because Wilson is right - it's more than high time you start to make some decisions.

WilsonFrickett Thu 06-Dec-12 13:29:58

Don't you break up for Christmas on the 20th?
So you now have a month off.
Make some decisions.

123canyoucopyme Thu 06-Dec-12 12:51:59

Doctor has signed me off sick for 2 weeks. How long can they keep signing you off sick for?

whois Thu 06-Dec-12 10:32:05

Or maybe work for a museum or art gallery?

No chance. Those jobs are like gold dust and are got by volunteering for years and having a masters (at least!) in fine art or whatever.

mummytime Thu 06-Dec-12 10:03:42

There are other careers you could have as a qualified teacher that might suit you far more.

So take the sick leave, take the medicine and think about what you really want to do.

Maybe some tutoring, maybe with HE kids? (Might fund just enough for DD still to go to Child minder a bit). There are various clubs you could do: I know Science and Art ones locally, there is always Music if that is your thing. Or supply (could be far more managable).
Or I also know people who have done educational sales or similar.
Or maybe work for a museum or art gallery?

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