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What to do about neurotic YR 5/6 teachers?

(194 Posts)
AnnaLiza Wed 05-Dec-12 20:47:49

I'm not saying that my DSs are saints but the teachers of previous years have never complained about their behaviour at school! Since the beginning of this academic year, though, the two female teachers for Yrs 5 and 6 are telling them off and making them cry at least once a week! For example:
DS1 (yr 6) got badly told off for bouncing a ball while he was walking to the assembly line and the ball was confiscated for two days.
DS2 (yr 5) got into serious trouble for flicking a pencil during a lesson.
DS1 got shouted at for talking during a lesson and for daring to say that other people were talking too.
Also they tell me that one of these two teachers refers to some other children as "idiots" and the other one is shouting half of the time and almost always at boys only.
AIBU or this is totally unacceptable?

overmydeadbody Wed 05-Dec-12 21:37:52

You should be telling your sons to behave better, their behaviour sounds appaling. Imagine 30 of them all doing those low level things all day? It's no wonder the teachers are shouting.

Flicking a pencil is not something a 'good' child does. It is wrong and your DS would have known it.

ilovesooty Wed 05-Dec-12 21:39:02

Who has posted "dramatic" replies that have upset you? I'm beginning to see why you can't appreciate the wider implications of your sons' poor behaviour.

ravenAK Wed 05-Dec-12 21:41:12

I have a lad in my year 8 tutor group who still talks when I'm talking, flicks pencils or paper, prats about on the way to assembly, & so on.

The other kids find him enormously tiresome, & I struggle to find him a partner for paired work in tutor time.

Honestly, I know it's all low-level stuff, but when everyone else grew out of it long ago, it's awfully tedious & will make them increasingly unpopular with their teachers AND their peers.

Euphemia Wed 05-Dec-12 21:41:13

There are no such things as "good" children and, by implication "bad" children. There are good and poor behaviour choices. Your DSs have made several of the latter.

The teachers don't sound like they're being "mean": it sounds to me like they are being firm but fair - misbehaviour should be treated the same no matter whether the child usually makes good behaviour choices or poor ones. Would it be fair to let your DS off with flicking a pencil as he's normally "good", and then punish the "bad" boy for doing the same?

Children's behaviour often changes in the last two years of primary: they can become too big for their boots and consider primary school and all its rules as beneath them. The teachers must be strict; there's no other way.


overmydeadbody Wed 05-Dec-12 21:41:36

Agree completely with lovebunny and would have written what she did if she hadn't got there first.

ilovesooty Wed 05-Dec-12 21:41:41

All DCs should be automatons "learning is the key" they learn that they're considered to be less than human; thats what they learn and it doesn't make them into 'good teenagers' Who wants 'good teenagers' who can't think for themselves anyway? it makes them into rebellious, unhappy teenagers

None of the replies saying that these boys should be better behaved and the OP should support the school have suggested that pupils should be automatons.

ImaginateMum Wed 05-Dec-12 21:42:07

I work in a class, ppeatfruit, and of course the children respond very well to being considered human. I work very hard to praise them, nurture them, come up with work to inspire, listen to what they think. I also tell them off if they do the wrong thing if it disrupts others. Demanding decent behaviour is not asking for automatons.

AnnaLiza Wed 05-Dec-12 21:46:19

ppeatfruit thank you for your humane message. I know where you're coming from. When DS1 said that he replied to the teacher that he wasn't the only one chatting I thought that perhaps he shouldn't have replied but also i was a bit proud that he wasn't afraid to say politely what he thought. I'm all in favour of telling children off if they're disruptive but within reason bearing in mind that just because they're children they shouldn't be forced into submission by adults in charge.

ImaginateMum Wed 05-Dec-12 21:47:29

Forced into submission!?!!

BoneyBackJefferson Wed 05-Dec-12 21:49:43

"My teenagers were not horrific and I respected their right to their own feelings."

Did you also respect the other children's right to learn?
Or did you complain when your children's learning was disrupted by the actions of others?

ilovesooty Wed 05-Dec-12 21:50:30

So reprimanding dangerous behaviour like flicking pencils in class is "forcing into submission"? hmm

Give me strength.

Hulababy Wed 05-Dec-12 21:52:35

A classroom is a very different scenario to when you are dealing with just 2 or 3 children at home. What is okay for 2 children to do at home just wouldn't work in a classroom of 30 children. It would be mayhem!

Feenie Wed 05-Dec-12 21:52:47

Why would the teacher discuss others' behaviour with your ds? Surely she would only be discussing HIS behaviour with him?

'Forced into submission'???????

But everyone else is being dramatic, yes?

Absolutely ridiculous.

Christ, I would home ed immediately - god knows how you've made it this far, quite frankly.

AnnaLiza Wed 05-Dec-12 21:53:00

ilovesooty I find your passive aggressive comments particularly infuriating and patronising. Give me strength? Wtf
I'm hiding this thread now!

JudgeJodie Wed 05-Dec-12 21:53:03

The teacher cried when you confronted her about the ball incident!?!? What did you say to her to get to the point of her crying (crocodile or not)?

StuntGirl Wed 05-Dec-12 21:53:30

"Forced into submission"? I can see where your sons get their dramatic tendencies from OP grin

Annunziata Wed 05-Dec-12 21:53:37

Forced into submission? Give me strength, what would you say if your DC had been whacked by one of those bouncy balls?

Floggingmolly Wed 05-Dec-12 21:53:38

Well the forced submission certainly hasn't worked on your kids, op.
You must be so proud hmm

ghoulelocks Wed 05-Dec-12 21:56:05

Why send them to school at all? They'd be much freer to express themselves elsewhere. It's quite legal to home educate and they could enjoy much more ball-bouncing, pencil-flicking and pointing out the irrelevant without anyone inconsiderately trying to instil knowledge or skills into them. There are clubs etc to cover the social interaction side, though you may want to avoid the ones with authority figures such as referees or coaches potentially forcing them into submission, though I'll admit once they out grow messy play activities at the Children's Centre these may be harder to find...

lovebunny Wed 05-Dec-12 21:56:17

Agree completely with lovebunny and would have written what she did if she hadn't got there first.

frame it! frame it! grin wink

BoneyBackJefferson Wed 05-Dec-12 21:56:22

"ppeatfruit thank you for your humane message."

No, she just agreed with you.

"but also i was a bit proud that he wasn't afraid to say politely what he thought."

You know that he was polite? where you there?

"forced into submission"

So your DC aren't the only drama queens in the family.

ImaginateMum Wed 05-Dec-12 21:56:23

Look, they are welcome to feel what they want! There should be many opportunities in a decent school to express those feelings too. They are not welcome to interrupt, disrupt or potentially hurt others.

FWIW, I am strict with bad behaviour because it is just not fair on the other children. Most kids recognise a "fair cop, guv" situation when they see one (especially if their parents help them to do so).

Cathycomehome Wed 05-Dec-12 21:56:33

Your child in year six was bouncing a ball in a line for assembly, and you're SURPRISED he got told off and it was confiscated? And he was "devastated"? Give me strength, and I actually don't believe his teacher cried. Giggled maybe if you came to complain about something so ludicrous.

chrismissymoomoomee Wed 05-Dec-12 21:57:01

grin forced into submission (or not answering a teacher back when in the wrong, as I prefer to call it)

ilovesooty Wed 05-Dec-12 21:57:33

Why are my comments "passive aggressive"? I've told you exactly what I think - a view shared by nearly every other poster.

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