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AIBU that the 'Ibiza couple' on 'one born' make me feel inadequate

(82 Posts)
howtobehappy Wed 05-Dec-12 18:27:26

I watched One Born on demand yesterday, the Ibiza couple, cannot remember there names, seemed to make everything look so easy. I am not jealous of the easy birth as I know that my birth had a lot of interventions to keep me and my DD alive which I am so grateful of, I view a sucessful birth as one where mum and baby are alive and well so it is not that that bothers me. I am just in awe how they are living their pre baby life with their daughter. My life has changed so much and seems so much harder now, I have a 3 year old DD and am pregnant with my second. My life is a routine of toddler groups, activites at home, supermarket shopping, working part time. One example I could think of is that to put some make up on and look semi ok I put pepper pig on for my daughter each day, the girl on there did full make up and hair with her little girl just playing with her high heel. It just look like her daughter slotted in to their lovely life, while my life has totally changed. I want to make my life pre kids with the DCs just fitting in like they have, has anyone achieved this? I just felt like a failure watching it like I have made my life into a mundane routine since DD arrived.

inchoccyheaven Wed 05-Dec-12 18:40:16

I found them incredibly superficial and personally think your life should change when you have children. You are not a failure smile

YourHandInMyHand Wed 05-Dec-12 18:43:00

Life does change when you have a child. That doesn't have to be a bad thing.

Not seen OBEM but my nana was talking about this couple to me the other day, isn't the DD named after Ibiza?. Where they the ones with all the designer outfits? It all sounded rather vain and shallow to me.

ENormaSnob Wed 05-Dec-12 18:46:07

Was she the one with the home made red bikini for the birthing pool?

howtobehappy Wed 05-Dec-12 18:46:30

I was just amazed at how blissfully happy they seemed and they were not phased by anything. They also said the lady thought staying at home with the baby was like being on holiday! What am I doing wrong? lol

snickers251 Wed 05-Dec-12 18:46:51

If I was being filmed about life after childbirth I could make it look a lot better, not every day is my house immaculate, I don't look great every day but if cameras were in my house I'd make the effort and people might think we have the perfect life when some days I look like crap, ds isn't dressed and the house is a mess.

It's how you want others to perceive your life!

Mrsjay Wed 05-Dec-12 18:49:51

Was she the one with the home made red bikini for the birthing pool?

that what i was going to ask too I remember them all designer and she just gave a few puffs and their little designer baby popped out , grin

Op most people this is how they live their life normal day to day things that is just how it goes, glam couples probbaly feel the same at some time or another

OwlLady Wed 05-Dec-12 18:49:52

do you just want to live in Ibiza? that is the question....

I feel inadequate watching grand designs if that helps and tikkabilla

You can't really judge from a tv programme but i found them anything but vain and shallow and usually i can't bear people who are. They seemed to me that they knew exactly what they wanted, where they were going etc. i wish i was as sorted as them, if it's to be believed that is.

Mrsjay Wed 05-Dec-12 18:50:56

I feel inadequate watching grand designs if that helps and tikkabilla

place in the sun just makes my day feel dull , hmm

OwlLady Wed 05-Dec-12 18:51:38

and a home in the country
i am not worthy

scarletforya Wed 05-Dec-12 18:51:44

Aw that girl had just had a miscarriage with her second. I thought they were lovely actually. Things aren't always as blissful as they look y'know.

TwelveLeggedWalk Wed 05-Dec-12 18:51:45

Their daughter slotted into their lives like a handbag does. Personally I don't want my dd to be constantly taken shopping and dressed up, I want her to have a wider frame of reference now (they're about the same age) and I sure as hell do when she's older.

And I am aware that makes me sound like the mist frightful nob smile

Flisspaps Wed 05-Dec-12 18:51:52

I think it's pure luck that baby Eivissa has just let them get on with it.

Plus, it's TV. We don't know that every day is like that for them, they may have scrubbed up for the cameras!

I think you're being a bit harsh, they clearly dote on their DD and were obviously devastated when talking about losing their second baby sad

Their parenting is no reflection on you. I feel I've achieved something today as I've washed my hair without my two having tantrums. We just do the best job we can, however hard or easy we find it.

WinklyVersusTheZombies Wed 05-Dec-12 18:54:15

When I got married three years ago I firmly believed I would have at least one child by now, and I've not had so much as a sniff of one. Every pregnant woman and mother makes me feel inadequate, so enjoy your children and count your blessings. You don't know what its like for them IRL anyway.

12ylnon Wed 05-Dec-12 18:56:18

I thought they were absolutely lovely on the original One Born. Then i saw the 'what happened next' program the other day and i just thought they were the most unbelievable twats.... I did feel for them about their MC though, i wouldn't wish that on anyone.

TwelveLeggedWalk Wed 05-Dec-12 19:07:29

Also bear in mind that they were open about being very image conscious, so they will be presenting a certain image on TV. I wouldn't take it as a true reflection necessarily.

FreshGoosedandStuffedLetticia Wed 05-Dec-12 19:53:05

Regarding being able to do stuff like put your makeup on in peace: my lovely MIL ( who adores spending time with little ones) always says that ' children come to live with you, you don't go to live with them, so you should fit them into your life but not let them rule it'
She is so right.
It always puzzles me when people moan that their children (not toddlers) get them up at 5 am. Don't let them then! Make them go back to bed or stay in their room.

honeytea Wed 05-Dec-12 20:04:53

Just imagine having a DP who was that camp.

The pressure the little girl will face to be pretty and fashionable would not be something I would want to put on my kids.

I liked the opera singing mum who gave her baby to a stranger in the park to go and deal with her toddlers toilet emergancy, she seemed so cool and was it felt a little more like the tv show depecited her real life smile

McChristmasPants2012 Wed 05-Dec-12 20:10:53

having a viginal birth came easy to me, if i was going to have a camera crew into my home it would be immaculate.

before the MW came I was up dressed so was baby and all the housework done.

Behind all that though i was battling with PND and was good at hiding it incase my baby got taken away from me <silly i know>

but perhaps she did have it together and if so how?

kattym Wed 05-Dec-12 20:11:44

the OBEM couple live near me

I see the mother out and about

the baby is often in customised rather than designer stuff -nothing wrong with that -all babies used to be in home made stuff -what's the difference? grin

when you see them out and about they clearly dote on her -what more can you ask for?

although I did like the line in the show that said, so what attracted you to him? and she said he was the only man at college that wasn't gay hehehe

McChristmasPants2012 Wed 05-Dec-12 20:13:01

It always puzzles me when people moan that their children (not toddlers) get them up at 5 am. Don't let them then! Make them go back to bed or stay in their room.

got any ideas how, because DS aged 6 wakes up 6am every morning with out fail and he can not be left alone

katiecubs Wed 05-Dec-12 20:20:50

Ooh do you have a link? Can't see the episode you mean and want to watch it now!

bellabelly Wed 05-Dec-12 20:28:26

OP, I had exactly the same reaction as you, they seemed so chilled out and relaxed, it made me wonder what on earth I'm doing wrong! (In my defence though, I do have 4 dcs rather than just one!) - I envied them their youth their seemingly carefree attitude, the lovely relationship they obviously have with each other and with their dolly kid, and I actually think I learned something from them. Felt so sorry for them about the mc and thought hey were actually very brave to talk about it all on camera, the emotions were really raw and very moving.

Glitterknickaz Wed 05-Dec-12 20:34:10

What I loved was the panic when the two toddlers spilled milkshake at the beach club. The sheer panic, dunking Eivissa in the pool "wash yourself" was hysterical.

Really hope the next one is a grubby tyke for comedy value...

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