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Would you be happy for a photo of your child dressed

(313 Posts)
Mosman Wed 05-Dec-12 14:30:20

In a crop top, aged 11 to be circulated on the Internet ?
I'm fcuking fuming just not sure how to handle this.
When we joined the school I was given a form asking for a signature to authorise the children to be photographed. We declined. That as far as I'm concerned should have been the end of the matter.
Except this morning I get a phone to make sure I understand the implications of my child not bring photographed, I say that I do, I am told that she the teacher will explain to my child that she needs to ask mum if she questions why she cannot be photographed. Fine I say.
When the children arrive back into the classroom from assembly the teacher stands up in front of the class and announced that Dd is the only one who cannot have her picture taken, that she may not be able to join the school band or choir because of this.
Later on in the day I received the school newsletter via email displaying DD's classmates performing a dance wearing cropped tops, midriffs on display, confirming everything I was concerned about.
How do I handle this effectively and get a satisfactory outcome ?

LadyClariceCannockMonty Thu 06-Dec-12 17:22:18

Crop tops are clothes too, aren't they?

PickledInAPearTree Thu 06-Dec-12 15:59:17

Id be a bit worried that she is way too conscious if you live in Oz and she never appears in public in anything approaching a crop top to be honest. Id be concerned that my attitude has rubbed off.

However that seems like a more than reasonable solution from the school so thats good.

I think you do need to calm it a tad to be honest.

madwomanintheattic Thu 06-Dec-12 14:31:19

Er, no. They were always doing a good job, by keeping her out of the pictures, as you requested.

To attempt to vindicate your position by suggesting they are only doing a good job now is extremely disingenuous.

Mosman Thu 06-Dec-12 13:06:09

Better late than never I guess

WileywithSageStuffing Thu 06-Dec-12 12:54:15

The school have decided to make her class photographer

I also think that is a fantastic solution - actually i think that would give me confidence that the school are doing a good job.

Mosman Thu 06-Dec-12 12:39:06

My DC's are never in public without their clothes I hate the beach as do they and we have a pool so no issues there.
The school have decided to make her class photographer which I think is a marvellous solution. DD is delighted.

Floggingmolly Thu 06-Dec-12 12:36:38

I've just seen that you live in Australia, op. How on earth do you manage in summer, and have you any idea how many other people's holiday snaps your dc's probably feature in (which have undoubtably been uploaded to the Internet) wearing far less than a crop top?

starfishmummy Thu 06-Dec-12 12:26:22

Yanbu not wanting your dc photographed.
School are not handling it well -there are children at ds's school who are fostered and legally cannot be photographed - they join in all the activities and are just moved out of the way when photos are taken. No fuss is made at all.

DaveMccave Thu 06-Dec-12 11:36:19

I don't think you are being unreasonable to be p*ssed off. You have been completely ignored and it's out of order.

However... I think you are being previous about the 'cropped top'. It's hardly provocative on a child doing a gym routine. I can understand them double checking with you, I haven't been able to record any of my DD's nativity or school plays because two parents in her year have refused to sign the forms. I fully understand when it is because of child protection issues, ie, they could be traced by family that could cause them harm, but if I found out it was because they were just being precious I would be disappointed.

Mosman Thu 06-Dec-12 11:28:58

I have no clue what that stands for :-)

MrsWembley Thu 06-Dec-12 11:25:24

Ah, thank-you.

I still think, even though it's your opinion and you are allowed to voice it, looking for validation on here is... well, as I said before, YPMYSLAA .


RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Thu 06-Dec-12 00:06:42

I think Mosman lives in Australia so years might be different there?

I can completely understand why some people are concerned about photos on the internet as we have no idea what technology will allow in a few years time (at the moment facial recognition is not great, but it's only a matter of time). However I think the "peedo" fear is actually the least worrying for the reasons already cited- surely of more concern would be the possibility that with a single photo of you, someone could pull up every other photo of you ever uploaded?

BUT, let's think about this. The 11 year old will be on FB in a couple of years, if she's not already. From what I can tell, teenagers spend most of those years taking photos of themselves doing stupid things/being drunk/in their pants/ pretending to smoke massive reefers/ actually smoking massive reefers and uploading them. This ends some time around graduation when they realise they might want to be employable one day. I imagine a photo of said graduate as an 11yr old in a dance show might pale into insignificance compared to what will get uploaded over the next decade.

Mosman Thu 06-Dec-12 00:05:54

We are in Australia my child is actually 10 most of the other children are 11, my 12 year old is in year 6 here.

I have decided I'll sit back and wait and see if the choir and band become an issue and deal with that if it becomes an issue.

Thanks again for the comments.

MrsWembley Wed 05-Dec-12 23:13:30

Right, I have struggled through to the end of this looking for the answer to one question - why is an 11yr old in Yr 5?

Either the OP is a little muddled or...

Oh, and I pretty much agree with everyone else about the rest of it. YPMYSLAA.

Picturesinthefirelight Wed 05-Dec-12 22:49:53

As for the joining thing.

A local theatre holds a performing arts festival every year. Dance schools, theatre groups, primary schools & secondary schools are invited to take part. It is a condition of taking part that parents have to agree to photos and videos.

So it would be pointless joining the dance club if they can't actually perform.

squeakytoy Wed 05-Dec-12 22:49:06

I think it is quite sad that the child will have no photographs of herself to look back on in later years.

I have photos of when I was in school plays, swimming teams, doing my dance routines, church parades and carnvals in our town (how would you police that one OP?)

Picturesinthefirelight Wed 05-Dec-12 22:47:15

What a long thread

But yes in happy for pics of dd in a crop top to be posted on the Internet.

In fact I put one of her on there myself last year when she was 10 in panto with an ex soap actor. It was Aladdin. The crop top costume was her favourite.

Hulababy Wed 05-Dec-12 22:40:16

Schools are encourages to photograph "in action" shots. They help provide evidence of the learning a child does.

Do you have a no photograph at all ever rule then?

Not come across that. Every child in our school is always photographed in the classroom/at sports days/ in action etc. It is only for the whole publishing thing we have the permission slips.

Hulababy Wed 05-Dec-12 22:34:40

We have one child in school who isn't allowed to be photographed by parent request. If I am doing a group shot I ask her to come and stand by me whilst I take the photo. I don't send her on a pretend errand or mess about putting her at the end and then cropping - I don't always have the time for faffing about later on on photoshop or whatever. I would never comment out loud about why toother children. I assume the child knows and I just dont take their picture.

Hulababy Wed 05-Dec-12 22:29:01

The photos wouldn't bother me particularly tbh. Not sure why you are concerned about the photos if your DD is not in them.

No the teacher should not have mentioned this in assembly to/about your DD. They could have spoken to her quietly before or after instead and just told her that she couldn't be included in the photographs.

Is the school band/choir regularly photographed because of where they perform? Is this why she couldn't be included?

Morloth Wed 05-Dec-12 22:22:39

Did you settle in Mosman, Mosman?

ifancyashandy Wed 05-Dec-12 22:04:14

You joined the school, got asked about photos and declined permission.

But the reason(s) you declined permission are contradictory make no sense - you said, firstly, it was because you looked at the prospectus and didn't like the images you saw of girls in swimsuits etc. But then you later drip feed that your decision was due to playground gossip about a parent.

Surely you wouldn't know the second piece of 'info' until after you started your DD at the school? Which contradicts your first point confused hmm

lovebunny Wed 05-Dec-12 21:48:55

op - twelve pages ago - is your daughter in the photograph? if not, the school's system has worked. point out to your daughter that the other girls are immodestly displayed and that it is not acceptable in your opinion. write to the school and complain about the inappropriateness. then leave them all to get on with it.

UterusUterusGhaLaLaLaLaLi Wed 05-Dec-12 21:18:47

She's talking bollocks.

Dont believe her.

UterusUterusGhaLaLaLaLaLi Wed 05-Dec-12 21:17:24

Crickey, I know of a Cat 1 sex offender being allowed to live with new baby & step children. hmm

Op, you said it's nicer been an issue in previous schools. Were there peeedos there too?

Don't you think the bloke would be mote interested in the actual victims living with him than some strangers midriff?

You sound mad as a box of frogs tbh.

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