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Would you be happy for a photo of your child dressed

(313 Posts)
Mosman Wed 05-Dec-12 14:30:20

In a crop top, aged 11 to be circulated on the Internet ?
I'm fcuking fuming just not sure how to handle this.
When we joined the school I was given a form asking for a signature to authorise the children to be photographed. We declined. That as far as I'm concerned should have been the end of the matter.
Except this morning I get a phone to make sure I understand the implications of my child not bring photographed, I say that I do, I am told that she the teacher will explain to my child that she needs to ask mum if she questions why she cannot be photographed. Fine I say.
When the children arrive back into the classroom from assembly the teacher stands up in front of the class and announced that Dd is the only one who cannot have her picture taken, that she may not be able to join the school band or choir because of this.
Later on in the day I received the school newsletter via email displaying DD's classmates performing a dance wearing cropped tops, midriffs on display, confirming everything I was concerned about.
How do I handle this effectively and get a satisfactory outcome ?

crikeybill Wed 05-Dec-12 15:03:28

No Mosman thats not what you originally wanted addressing at all ?? The title of your thread is " Would you be happy for a photo of your child dressed in a crop top aged 11 to be circulated on the internet" Apparently you are fucking fuming about it ?? Even though your child isnt in the picture ?? confused

So again YABU !

YANBU if yuor child really was singled out in that way, which is what you have now decied you are asking.

Notmadeofrib Wed 05-Dec-12 15:03:34

Oh and in real life people just roll their eyes about you behind your back I'm afraid.

crikeybill Wed 05-Dec-12 15:04:31


Mosman Wed 05-Dec-12 15:04:39

The point is that having been told no the teacher is trying to upset my child so she goes home upset and questions me, she told me she would tell DD to ask mum if DD asked why she wasn't to be photographed but that wasn't good enough the teacher wanted to ensure DD was upset and would question me perhaps because I've created a few moments of extra cropping work for her to remove my DD from the photograph. I think that's piss poor tbh

crikeybill Wed 05-Dec-12 15:05:53

Thats not the title of your thread though.
that scenario is fair enough. Thats not waht you asked and wasnt your point.

freddiefrog Wed 05-Dec-12 15:06:07

joyfulchristmasjumper sorry, I meant the school. As far as they're concerned the OP said no, that should be the end of it. We had to say no with our foster child, that was the end of it.

TheJoyfulChristmasJumper Wed 05-Dec-12 15:06:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mosman Wed 05-Dec-12 15:06:27

Cricketbill, I'm surprised people are happy to have those images circulated of their children yes. DH and I are not. Roll your eyes all you like.

complexnumber Wed 05-Dec-12 15:07:24

If the teacher is taking pics of the class, I think it quite reasonable of her to ring and confirm you do not want your DD to appear in any of them as she will have to make a conscious effort to make sure your DD is not in front of the lens, as opposed to a more candid shot.

Though I am not criticising your decision whatsoever

TheJoyfulChristmasJumper Wed 05-Dec-12 15:07:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheJoyfulChristmasJumper Wed 05-Dec-12 15:09:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nickelbabylyinginamanger Wed 05-Dec-12 15:09:42

i don't see the problem with a child being photographed in any form they appear in public (yes, shows and swimming teams are public)

but i can see your point. and there's no reason to force your child not to be part of a show or choir or band.
if they accidentally photograph her they can photoshop her out.
or take team photos without her in them.

Mosman Wed 05-Dec-12 15:09:54

Complex number you don't think us saying no on the form they gave us to sign is sufficient then ?

Kendodd Wed 05-Dec-12 15:09:55

Can I ask OP, if your child was in the school band would you insist that parents are not allowed to photograph their own children performing alongside your DD?

crikeybill Wed 05-Dec-12 15:10:22

It wasnt me eye rolling actually but ok....

I'm not bothered by my children appearing in a weekly school newletter emailed to parents wearing p.e kit or crop tops . No I'm not. I dont get why I should be ???

Sirzy Wed 05-Dec-12 15:10:58

Your daughter is 11, surely you should have explained your stance on this before it became an issue?

It you have taken the choice not to have photos of her taken then huh should have make sure your daughter knew this and knew it meant she may have to sit out of photos when they are taken

crikeybill Wed 05-Dec-12 15:11:51

What if your DD was in the swimming team and won a medal ?? As mind is and did. She appeared proudly on the fron tof the local newspaper this Olympic summer. Beaming away, wearing her medal and a swimsuit shock
Would you say no to your DD ??

Curious ??

Mosman Wed 05-Dec-12 15:12:16

There was no need for announcement either they could have just sent DD on an erandt whilst taking photos, put her on the end to be cropped off but no she made a conscious decision because she doesn't agree with me to make a ding and dance about it.

Mosman Wed 05-Dec-12 15:14:24

Parents taking photos I'd rather they didn't get my Dd in but I've never demanded the negatives or insisted they don't. The school asked and were told no. They should respect that not question it and not try to undermine me via my child.

shesariver Wed 05-Dec-12 15:14:34

Im with the complete hysterical over reaction people here. So other peoples kids have been photographed in their dance costumes and yet again paedophile hysteria seems to take over.

Mosman Wed 05-Dec-12 15:15:42

I would say no to the swimsuit shot, absolutely.

WileywithSageStuffing Wed 05-Dec-12 15:16:14

But why should the school "pretend" that she should do an errand or have to photoshop her out really? She's 11 not 5.

Surely you have already explained that she needs to sit photographs out and she shouldn't need the school making up pretend jobs so that she doesn't feel left out.

Perhaps she wanted to be in the photos which is why they phoned you to double check?

Sirzy Wed 05-Dec-12 15:17:48

So you want the school to lie to your daughter then?

If you haven't given permission for her to be photographed then they can't take a photo with her on then crop her off (which isn't that simple for most in reality either)

Mosman Wed 05-Dec-12 15:18:27

Er so they don't upset somebody perhaps ? You can be 11 and have feelings you know they don't vanish at 5

Kendodd Wed 05-Dec-12 15:19:15

What if your DD was in the swimming team and won a medal ?? As mind is and did. She appeared proudly on the fron tof the local newspaper this Olympic summer. Beaming away, wearing her medal and a swimsuit

Well done to your DD!

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