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I wince when women refer to being a mum as "a job"

(502 Posts)
CQuin Tue 04-Dec-12 17:02:11

It's so mimsy ish, so martyr and yet at the same time.

Our parents would never have said this, is it just the heightened expectations everyone has for everything thee days ?
Would dads say this?

Eg I have two jobs, I'm a mother (or worse "mummy ") and a hat maker." (or whatever )

Fuck off.

CashmereHoodlum Tue 04-Dec-12 17:58:20

I find that people don't put me down for being a SAHM but they seem to think I do a lot more than I do. Someone asked me what I did after my youngest started school so I said I was unemployed and explained that the DCs were now in school and she said 'no you're not, you're a manager' and started listing off all the tasks I supposedly do. I don't/didn't do a fraction of what she thought I should be doing. I find that when people find out I am a SAHM they often start heaping praise upon me in a slightly desperate way. These are generally those who have not seen the state of my children or my house, I should add.

I have recently started a business and all anybody ever says on the subject is 'isn't it lovely that you will be able to be there for the children', when I haven't said anything along those lines.

I've rambled a bit but I find that most people I meet try to make me feel good, even when it makes me feel a bit bewildered. I think giving 'mum' as an occupation can give a false impression of what one actually does.

AllYoursJingleBellbooshka Tue 04-Dec-12 18:00:01

What do you mean "it's um... shitness?"

KenLeeeeeee Tue 04-Dec-12 18:00:13

I get you, sort of. I'm a SAHM which is fucking hard work but it's not a "job" because I get paid shit all to do it. grin

If it was paid employment, at least I'd get a sodding lunchbreak & time to have a wee in peace. <weeps>

CQuin Tue 04-Dec-12 18:00:44

yes the head tilt and " well thats the most important job of all"

well its not REALLY is it

* weighs up A&E surgeon with going to playgroup* ;)

Jux Tue 04-Dec-12 18:01:11

It's social commentary isn't it?

I know quite a few men who think they are the only one in their family who work. That's because yhey get paid by someone else. The mother of their children spend the day playing, apparently.

Today's society is very focussed on what you do in terms of earning, and people who don't earn are so much more looked down upon, that I can quite see why many sahm's would term motherhood as a job for the outside world. Just an effort to get a bit of respect for what they do.

CQuin Tue 04-Dec-12 18:01:16

When i started work I was STUNNED people expected me to close the loo door!

freaks all ;)

CQuin Tue 04-Dec-12 18:01:48

ah but those of us with voluntary roles...
I find it hard to describe that as a job.. its something I do.

DameMargotFountain Tue 04-Dec-12 18:02:01

i've got a job

it's a research post - shite pay - 4p an hour i think someone said on MN a few days back

it's way better than pretending not to judge while calling someone's personal description of their occupation as 'shitness'

Tortington Tue 04-Dec-12 18:02:53

oh do stop being contraire - yes name calling others is your signature but ffs leave it out and make a decent contribution ...for once

JenaiMathis Tue 04-Dec-12 18:02:55

I don't "care" for my children, I bring them up and teach them to be independent. Well put, Bonsoir

There are different ways of achieving that aim as I'm sure we both appreciate.

Some people do manage to make housewifery (as opposed to parenting) a full-time job though, which unless you live in a castle seems a bit rum. If you're fortunate enough not to have to work, then it should be a piddling little PT job with plenty of time to do lovely things.

CQuin Tue 04-Dec-12 18:03:15

the shitness of saying its a job.

not the job,although natch often there is UBER shit involved

AllYoursJingleBellbooshka Tue 04-Dec-12 18:03:16

Are you an A&E surgeon CQuin?

CQuin Tue 04-Dec-12 18:04:03

i AM

you got me

AllYoursJingleBellbooshka Tue 04-Dec-12 18:05:11


babythrashling Tue 04-Dec-12 18:06:04

But it doesn't make you giggle at all, CQuin, it makes you so enraged that you need to post a thread on Mumsnet about it. You may not think you have issues about this subject, but it's abundantly clear from your posts that you do I'm afraid....Sorry for you.

RedZombie Tue 04-Dec-12 18:06:05

heaping praise upon me in a slightly desperate way. These are generally those who have not seen the state of my children or my house, I should add grin

CQuin Tue 04-Dec-12 18:06:06


CQuin Tue 04-Dec-12 18:07:14

so enraged?

or a bit bored at swimming lessons? ;)

Caerlaverock Tue 04-Dec-12 18:09:07

I took redundancy to try my hand at going it alone and spending some more time with dd, my ancient bil constantly beams at me and asks if I enjoy being a MUm NOW. The implication is that when I was in employment dd was motherless and I was an evil gin drinking harridan

Pinkforever Tue 04-Dec-12 18:09:31

If you dont feed it,it will die....

Labootin Tue 04-Dec-12 18:10:34


kilmuir Tue 04-Dec-12 18:11:41

I always imagined a surgeon would be better at grammar!
Why do you care OP?
Does not make you a better mother whether you work outside the home, full or part time. To each their own. I don't care what you do as long as your children are well cared for, educated and have fun

JenaiMathis Tue 04-Dec-12 18:11:49

RedZ that made me grin too.

It's a shame the OP seems to be on a wind-up because there are a few good posts on this thread that will disappear when it goes "pouf".

CQuin Tue 04-Dec-12 18:12:31

I'vve already say i dont care what they do, its the JOB bit that i think is cheesy

AllYoursJingleBellbooshka Tue 04-Dec-12 18:13:19

Really want to watch ER now... angry

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