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Knock next door and ask if car parked outside my house was someone visiting them?

(64 Posts)
seaofyou Tue 04-Dec-12 11:43:50

Or will they think I am crazy asking that LOL!

Long story...but I have CCTV now due to numerous attacks on home.

I just opened curtains and car there could make out a man/dark hair and 5 seconds after I opened curtains car started. I ran to front door and saw it go fast down road make/model and year.

Wanted to ask neighbour. Don't know them they are newish and don't know my problems here. Don't want to share it either.

Neighbour has lots of visitors who park there but I clocked then all to know who they belong too and don't mind as looks like I have visitors!

But I have not seen this car before and man sat in car made sharp ish drive off when I opened my curtains.

CCTV not got view of that side of front as on slant to pick up front door. My ex has parked in that spot before (different car).

Shall I ask neighbour? Want to be told it is their visitor!

LineRunnerWithBellsOn Wed 05-Dec-12 20:45:24

Get a bright outside light as well. And leave it on at night.

CCTV is not much use without enough light.

seaofyou Thu 06-Dec-12 02:10:56

Ryle thank you so much much for your no one knows better than a person who has been in the shoes...and you have had several pairs of experience sadly.

Ghosh you too had it really bad too! They sound like 2 peas in a pod tbh! Crikey! Someone else as crazy as the ex and the fire threats of arson too! Yes I had ex go to school with SIS and his DM, report me to benefits for fraud and Social Services for child abuse of ds the week of ds 4th birthday. When ex reported me again to SS the following birthday they kinda realized this was the average vendetta's they see!

Yes the love turn to hate is very common but no ex just wants us void so ex can return to UK I guess plus the guilt/anger/hate of being like this to his disabled ds. He said it was him or the baby. I choose latter naturally. Has hated me with a vengeance ever since!
He also makes Satan references to DS, last birthday ex wrote an artistic piece on DS birthday and called it Satan's seventh son.....there was many more about veils, knocking through Ptah's door ( kicked my door often Ptah is Satan etc).
There is schizophrenia and psychotic depression in first family rels to ex committed suicide very violently 2 yrs before I met ex and it was never discussed.

I was worried about my car and used to test brakes...I made sure CCTV covered my car on driveway.

Thank you Ryle as I don't want to cause you distress and grateful of you helping me. You are right moving will be better than any counselling!

Oh the CCTV works better at night in dark as INfared lights...I need the lights out side for me answering the front door as scared but lights or no lights these days I don't answer the door. The PIR light was good as came on/off when people passed so easier to check CCTV for light going on/off on fast mode as can take hours to check CCTV otherwise.

RyleDup Thu 06-Dec-12 22:17:32

You're welcome seaofyou. Its frightening how many similarities they have. He sounds almost exactly the same. I hope you are ok. Stay vigilant and trust your instincts. It would be nice if the police got something on him and locked him up for a very long time, giving you and ds a bit of peace. Feel free to pm whenever you want, I'll probably do a name change soon, but I'll let you know what name I have changed to so you'll know its me on any future posts.
Stay safe.

seaofyou Thu 06-Dec-12 23:42:18

That car hasn't been back and that makes me even more thinking it is him same behaviour as last year when sped off when I opened the curtains...shame police wont look at the CCTV I saved last year as you can clearly see it is him looking straight at you on the clip (he is checking to see if the camera is dummy) what is frightening is I know his mind and behaviours better than he does! Funny how we both come to the psychosis evaluation too! And them thinking we are Satan eek!
When ex write Satanic stuff that is when I panic as that was a sign he was about to attack before writing Alister Crowley headings etc and weird stuff that truly did scare me as thought what can he achieve from afar...his latest creation...he sounds like Satan's demonic voice himself and totally scary to the core to listen to his voice getting evil and evil. I know he wants to attack big time but CCTV is keeping him at bay...but for how much longer ? as I can sense the build up of revenge/anger/hatred from what he wrote and from the other day being outside...waiting till I saw him then taking off fast.
Police thought I was making it up at first but it has been going on so many years now they know it isn't a game I am playing to get at ex! The first attack happened when I was in hospital having ds screwdriver dent where door was forced...I thought it was kids (so never reported it)...ex used the same spot at 4 am on winter morning to try and force door again years later...he would not have known that dent was there...he went for the same spot as before in hope I would not notice the door being damaged again! He had a screwdriver as he took front of letterbox off...what he didnt know was arson team metal drilled to the door frame on inside luckily...he would have put petrol through those two nights alone otherwise I know for sure! Other things make me shiver too like the day I came home with ds from hospital (ex didnt know when I was having ds as 12 days late) and as soon as I stepped in the house the phone rang it was mum slammed the phone down on him. How did he know I was just stepping in house when he is living in Europe? I know he was an experienced Hacker and worked for government IT systems at one stage...I wonder how he knew which nights to attack? I would be awake for 12 nights on a row with 2 hours sleep in the day and after 12 nights of no sleep he attacked on 13 th did he know I was asleep that night? It's possibly coincidence...but going through this makes you over analysis this form of gas-lighting is truly horrific...I feel I am in the RL film The Shining on times! That is the only way I can describe it!
I would need to take CCTV down to catch him, but I am terrified of the consequences if I didn't call police in time or I was asleep!
If you can think of a plan for me I am all ears because years of this I am sick of it and what if I moved and he found me again as only max 15 other families with my surname in whole city!
Thank you for responding because in a sad and stupid way I am relieved I know now of someone else who has been though this...which helps esp 10 yrs on from my experience.
I have come to conclusion ex is a Narcissistic Psychopath!
Any good self help books or website Ryle you can point me I would be grateful...I know LoveFraud, Robert Hare book 'Without conscience' Sam Vankin - 'Malignant Self Love' website and book.

RyleDup Fri 07-Dec-12 00:42:45

Look my friend, we will work this out. Pm me where you are, you might be close, by, but if not I'll think of something. We need to ditch the public forum, I will help you. Stay vigilant.

seaofyou Fri 07-Dec-12 00:59:05

Thank you so much Ryle I have PM'd you

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 07-Dec-12 01:02:53

If you have a car, park it on the space that he uses when he's spying that way he has to park in view of camera.

Security lights are a good move.

deedge Fri 07-Dec-12 01:04:08

just came online an read ur story, i went through similar with my ex yrs ago, but new laws passed now an u dont have 2 prove it was him he has 2 prove it wasnt, keep phonin an houndin ur police, cctv isnt enough, u never said if u had a panic button in house, but make sure u get everythin to make urself an ur son safe, tell police this is wot u want an tell them 2 look up the new stalkin laws, xx

seaofyou Fri 07-Dec-12 01:15:53

sock I am scared he'll cut the brakes then as car out of view of CCTV and on road.

deedge, my mum said their was new laws this morning when I told her what was happening. I went to police last or summer before? I said this was stalking and they said it wasn't he is allowed to sit in his car opposite the house/rpound the corner...other officer said he could stand in my front garden and stare in my living room too!
Do you know where I can read up on these laws? Funny how the officer never said on the phone? No I have not got panic button...never offered it...wasnt offered nothing tbh! The police didn't take it serious!

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 07-Dec-12 01:31:37§ionTitle=Stalking

Some reading for you hth

RyleDup Fri 07-Dec-12 01:34:13

Sea, I have got your message. I want to answer it properly though, so will do it tomorrow after kids are shuffled off to school. In the meantime I will find out about panic buttons for you in your area.
Check doors and windows locked, (i know you have already) phone next to your head, your letterbox is already sealed so he can't get in there or put anything through it. Try to sleep, even if you have to have the light on.

seaofyou Fri 07-Dec-12 09:29:38

Oh WOW thank you Stock...where have I been? I am like the woman who wont have TV on as need to listen for noises. Was it 26th November it was passed? Wow fab! Can I go to police with the CCTV from last year of the car or will it only count from 26th November this year? Sorry stock anyone can answer that question not bombarding you honest...just knowledge is power back I guess?

I made mistake of not having phone by head as when I had to get out of bed to get phone on dressing table the one time he was gone as heard bed/me moving as I slept with bedroom door open so I could hear him...but he could hear me too!

I sleep ok once asleep now...before CCTV I never sleep...but as ex usually struck between 12-2am I sleep around then when I think safe too these days. But when this happens like other day my sleep goes haywire.

I have to go out (hate going out but hate coming home ahh) but I will respond to you later Rylecup thank you!

deedge PM me too it is good to hear from others as it helps me digest my own crazy life these last few years. Thank you for sharing with me too

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 10-Dec-12 15:35:59

I believe they will look at previous evidence to show a patten of stalking but I wouldn't stake my life on it

Sunnywithachanceofshowers Tue 11-Dec-12 23:24:37

How are you lovely?

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