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Knock next door and ask if car parked outside my house was someone visiting them?

(64 Posts)
seaofyou Tue 04-Dec-12 11:43:50

Or will they think I am crazy asking that LOL!

Long story...but I have CCTV now due to numerous attacks on home.

I just opened curtains and car there could make out a man/dark hair and 5 seconds after I opened curtains car started. I ran to front door and saw it go fast down road make/model and year.

Wanted to ask neighbour. Don't know them they are newish and don't know my problems here. Don't want to share it either.

Neighbour has lots of visitors who park there but I clocked then all to know who they belong too and don't mind as looks like I have visitors!

But I have not seen this car before and man sat in car made sharp ish drive off when I opened my curtains.

CCTV not got view of that side of front as on slant to pick up front door. My ex has parked in that spot before (different car).

Shall I ask neighbour? Want to be told it is their visitor!

Rooobs Tue 04-Dec-12 11:48:45

I'm not quite sure I understand your post, but you sound very worried.

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask if it was a visitor, but they may wonder why you're asking - what business is it of yours type of thing. You could have a story ready such as, you thought you heard a knock at the door but couldn't answer it in time or something.

Are you worried that someone is stalking you, or might have found you?

threesocksfullofchocs Tue 04-Dec-12 11:51:02

if you are worried, find an excuse and just bring it up in conversation

Whoknowswhocares Tue 04-Dec-12 11:51:08

It's perfectly reasonable to ask in your circumstances but I'm not sure it will appear so unless you explain the reason as outlined above

DontmindifIdo Tue 04-Dec-12 11:51:16

If you are going to ask, you need to give them a reason, so either the truth or something nice and believable like "oh, I thought I saw the rubbish van scrap the side of their car and wanted to let them know who did it, if indeed it is damaged."

Otherwise, you need to accept that it's a public road, your neighbours and people further down the street will have visitors and they might park outside your house rather than the house they are visiting. You can't reasonably expect to "log" everyone.

ImperialSantaKnickers Tue 04-Dec-12 11:51:40

I assume you have reason to be worried about someone parked outside?

Quite apart from anything else, it would be nice to say hello to neighbour, whether you share history or not. But you'll look a bit bonkers if you ask them about visitors without giving a reason.

By far the most likely thing is that the bloke who drove away didn't even notice your curtains opening. Most drivers are looking the way they intend to move when they pull away!

pELFicFloorClenchReminder Tue 04-Dec-12 11:52:45

I think it was probably a coincidence he drove off when you opened the curtains, if he didn't want to draw attention to himself he would have stayed put.

Are you there alone?

seaofyou Tue 04-Dec-12 12:01:20

Just went out to check my car<nose> next door has a visitor parked on other side of their car(possibly because couldn't park in normal spot outside my home as that car that drove off fast was there). Don't want to knock if visitors there either. Don't know them as huge hedge between houses...never see them.

I just hope I see the car again soon issue with neighbours parking outside house as have a huge drive for 2 cars and I live with just my young DS.

Plus don't want them to think I am moaning over cars being parked their...if anything I like it so looks like I am not alone...other houses around no one at home so no visitors their...will check CCTV to see what time it came up street initially to estimate how long parked their.

VeganCow Tue 04-Dec-12 12:04:46

It all sounds very stressful. What do you mean by numerous attacks on home? Do you feel you have been singled out, or was it stupid random things from moronic teenagers walking past etc?

Pootles2010 Tue 04-Dec-12 12:08:53

I think I remember your posts from before, sorry to hear this is still such a worry for you op sad

Maybe make something up - take something random round, say you thought you saw it get dropped out of the car that was outside your house, and was it their guest who dropped it?

DeWe Tue 04-Dec-12 12:23:55

Get an envelope and write a fake address on. Seal envelope, and write "Private and confidential" on the top. Go round and ask them because you think the chap in the car dropped it.

If he wasn't visiting them, you can also then ask if they've seen him before around there/do they know who he's visiting as you'd like to return the envelope to him in case it has an important message in.

seaofyou Tue 04-Dec-12 12:25:39

CCTV shows car leaving but because of pelting sun it has no colour so would not be able to tell if car came into street at all,,.ie does lives down culdesacs with car and just stopped to use phone etc. however person man was not on phone. My net curtains really thick so I don't know if the man even saw me or curtains was the startle of him starting car and driving off fast with coincidence of curtains opening. The last time it happened it was my ex and I had CCTV footage of him up and down...police said I need reg number hence this ran to door but could only get colour/make/model and year.

I hadn't had my front door locked either as I had a delivery this morning after DS went to school so that frightened me too.

Feel stupid asking neighbour. No harm done just reminded me of the last time...could have been anyone!

ImperialSantaKnickers Tue 04-Dec-12 12:34:17

sea I can't quite work out what actually happened this morning - are you MN-ing on a phone by any chance?

I like DeWe's suggestion - and as I said upthread, it would be nice to break ice with the neighbours, whether you decide to tell them about your problems or not.

seaofyou Tue 04-Dec-12 12:36:25

Thank DeWe for idea did it.

Oh god I'm shaking after doing that...lovely neighbour man...thankfully he didn't have same surname as on the envelope. But he didn't have the visitor in the car that was parked outside my home really hoping it wassad

So this leaves even more worried as not neighbour's visitor.

wheredidiputit Tue 04-Dec-12 12:55:08


Sea's EXH has threaten her and their child with extreme violence on a numbers of occasions hence why she has CCTV.

Hope you ok Sea.

Flisspaps Tue 04-Dec-12 12:59:01

Sea If you are concerned, then perhaps you should call 101 and report it in light of you having had attacks on your home in the past? I assume that the police were aware of those; it would be worth putting it on record that this car was there and the driver behaved suspiciously.

Do you mean the car was on your driveway, as opposed to outside your house on a public road?

seaofyou Tue 04-Dec-12 13:11:02

No my car on driveway. It was on pavement/road outside house. Man had same feature hair colour...but common colour.

It just reminded me of last night opened curtains and car sped off and it was curb crawling past my house defo ex and trying to sus out CCTV I guess if real or dummy it did it on 2 nights then...but I decided not to check CCTV anymore as makes me worse/nervous.

WheelieBinRebel Tue 04-Dec-12 13:24:09

Have you reported this incident to the Police?? I take it you and your situation is known to them?

seaofyou Tue 04-Dec-12 13:28:44

Sorry not ignoring other posters was to shaken up and nervous to write while ago...ok now. Yes 14 attacks on my home...all reported to police. I was given CCTV in end. I have had no fall out with neighbours as keep to myself can't go anywhere with DS autism anyway.

Ex was spotted on few occassion on days of attacks not doing the act but considering lives abroad why was he in area when attacked. He had no friends or family around here either. Some attacks foiled as he would drive off...where he used to park car round corner CCTV picks up. I guess he can see that being engineer and where he has parked in past same spot today...out of CCTV range.
It was my birthday yesterday so could have been a revenge thing and he just forgot day it was on as many years ago we split?

Or it could be totally innocent...I hope.

Not phoning police no point they can't do anything and didn't when ex did damage property.

Try and forget it now...but I knew it wasn't neighbours visitors cars, thanks DeWe as ruled it out too.

Flisspaps Tue 04-Dec-12 13:35:20

Please, report it, I don't think it's a coincidence that it's happened on your birthday

seaofyou Tue 04-Dec-12 13:41:01

Thanks for support ladies was expecting a battering...shocked as I thought I was ok ish but BANG totally terrified againsad

I'll phone 101 and get a incident number, sorry my posts a bit all over placE but hands shaking a bit and scared.

RyleDup Tue 04-Dec-12 13:51:44

Don't feel stupid about asking the neighbour. Its someone else who can look out for you too. My neighbours opposite have a similar problem, and I call the police if I see anyone hanging round their house.

seaofyou Tue 04-Dec-12 14:02:29

Phoned 101 and it sounded silly when I said 'opened my curtains and car then started up and drove off fast' !

But then officer asked when did it start and the fake petrol bomb in 2008, kicks, burn marks, screwdriver dents etc nice officer said 'stay safe and do call us if anything happens straight away'.

Nice officer...last year I was told to go outside (11pm) to get reg number...the footage on CCTV no good not enough evidence...I have wondered if I should take it down but I know ex is waiting for that day to attack.

Thanks for hand holding hard here alone.

HisstletoeAndWhine Tue 04-Dec-12 15:52:15

I think you have to report it, I think you need to discuss how the recent changes in the law may help you.

You really do need to rent that place out and go live somewhere else. He's not going to give up.

CaliforniaSucksSnowballs Tue 04-Dec-12 15:58:43

Can you adjust the angle of the CCTV? Seeing he knows it's there, and parks accordingly, if you move it slightly, you may be able yo catch him parked.
Stay safe.

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