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Neighbours and having to listen to them (blush)

(68 Posts)
Notcontent Mon 03-Dec-12 22:51:38

So, some new neighbours just moved in a couple of weeks ago next door. I am just sitting up in bed and have realised I can hear them having sex. It's just a bit disconcerting hearing "ooh, aah" over and over again. It's a terrace and the walls are thin but I didn't think they were that thin.
Having been on mumsnet for a while now, I think it's quite a common problem, isn't it? Not much I can do is there - I mean even if I did tell them (and I couldn't!!!!) there is probably not much they can do!!
Just glad they are not next to DD's bedroom.

Tell me I am not the only one to have this problem!!!!

jidelgin Mon 03-Dec-12 22:58:35

I once saw a gag email on this matter where a fellow realised too loud/walls too thin when he logged into his wifi and saw the neighbours had changed the name of their wifi network to 'We can hear you having sex" - awkward!

WorraLiberty Mon 03-Dec-12 23:03:09

Perhaps not quite as disconcerting as my friend's problem.

She can hear the old lady in the flat upstairs, pleasuring herself quite loudly now and then shock

The woman's quite deaf so probably has no idea how loud she is.

TraineeBabyCatcher Mon 03-Dec-12 23:03:16

It is awkward but I'd rather hear sex than 'fuck off you bitch, if you don't I'm going to fucking knock you out' sad we used to have the sex problem but its mainly just arguing now.

quoteunquote Mon 03-Dec-12 23:04:25

Have a tune you put on every time you can hear them, if you use the same song each time it happens, they will soon realise you can hear them and quieten down a bit.

All you now have to decide is what tune to play.

SavoirFaire Mon 03-Dec-12 23:05:57

We have same problem. Although the sex is significantly less of a problem than their DCs up, about and making a LOT of noise at 5am.........

Cathycomehome Mon 03-Dec-12 23:07:23

Fire starter by the prodigy. We used to play this when our flat mate who had the room above was, ahem, loudly at it. <just dated myself >

SparklyGothKat Mon 03-Dec-12 23:08:33

'Lets get it on' will blatantly let them know you can hear them grin

Play the Benny Hill theme tune grin

Notcontent Mon 03-Dec-12 23:14:20

I love all your suggestions!
Yes, it could be worse - they could be arguing or watching really loud tv all night....

DeckthehallswithbowelsofMIL Mon 03-Dec-12 23:16:18

Just shout back louder grin

lovebunny Mon 03-Dec-12 23:18:27

just join in. call out encouragement.

PretzelTime Mon 03-Dec-12 23:19:20

Play the sound of a baby crying

Angelico Mon 03-Dec-12 23:22:46

PMSL at the evil genius song / sound suggestions grin

SallyBeth Mon 03-Dec-12 23:23:45

Just enjoy it

AutumnMadness Mon 03-Dec-12 23:25:36

There was an article by someone somewhere about using your wireless router name to send messages to your neighbours. You could name yours something like "STOP FAKING IT!"

quoteunquote Mon 03-Dec-12 23:49:13

I think song idea could be a lot of fun, If you are careful to make sure each and every time they are having sex you play the same song, you could help them in a few years when they start to turn in to arguing couple, you could then play it, and they would suddenly have the need to have sex, you could probably get funding for the study.

barry white or would that just encourage them,

Rocket man, might be funny, unless it's a gay couple and they are female.

tracingmyfootsteps Mon 03-Dec-12 23:56:40

I hear my neighbours too, we are in an old terrace. I used to find it a bit uncomfortable but tbh I just accept it now, sex is part of everyday life after all and it shouldn't be any worse than hearing them in the bathroom or watching TV. I don't think it's fair when people complain about the noise, after all you have the choice to put some music on some headphones or wear earplugs if you can't stand it.

Also, if you can hear them, chances are they can probably hear you. wink

IAmNotAReindeer Mon 03-Dec-12 23:57:15

Rename your wifi.
Mark them out of 10 for effort and shout their scores to them once its all gone quiet.
Shout I know your faking through the walls during a particularly loud session.

Bossybritches22 Mon 03-Dec-12 23:57:42

There's a thread in Classics about this very thing!

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Mon 03-Dec-12 23:59:28

Shout marks out of ten

Or a slow hand clap at the denouement

"Let's Get It On" played is good

I think we are quite noisy, but thankfully the neighbours will only hear if the windows are open. Which has happened blush

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Tue 04-Dec-12 00:00:15

Great minds, IANOR grin

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Tue 04-Dec-12 00:00:33


Sokmonsta Tue 04-Dec-12 03:46:12

Dh applauded our neighbours after a particularly active session. Never heard them again. grin

vintageviolets Tue 04-Dec-12 04:56:08

You could shout 'sevennnnn'' like that old geezer on Strictly!

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