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AIBU to breastfeed my toddler in public?

(368 Posts)
RainbowsFriend Mon 03-Dec-12 21:10:14

My 18 month DD still breastfeeds a lot. Day and night, if I'm around and not at work.

I don't have a problem with this, (although I would like more sleep! grin) but it's increasingly becoming awkward when out and about, as toddlers don't cuddle in nicely but squirm and pop on and off a lot.

Today we were in a garden centre cafe, and having polished off most of her lunch, half of my sandwiches AND most of a flapjack, DD wanted mummy milk.
So I obliged. As discreetly as possible with one top up/ on top down, DD tucked in under my jumper and facing a wall.

Then all I can hear is the group of mums on the table behind me saying "it shouldn;t be allowed when they're that age - they should be down to morning and evening feeds MAXIMUM - in fact they should be on formula/cows milk by 6 months/a year" etc. There were about 5 mums all loudly discussing it....

I think my daughter should be allowed mummy milk for as long as she wants it personally. She's not still going to be feeding aged 8 - and she's only 18 months now! I am getting VERY fed up with stares when this happens and really don't want to be confined to the house. I could ask her to wait, but she doesn't really understand that yet - and just asks louder and louder grin

So WIBU to feed her in public?

greenbananas Wed 05-Dec-12 09:49:27

Of course YANBU. Slightly unreasonable to ask on mumsnet though, as it is bound to start an argument. I haven't got time to read the whole thread, and I suspect that some parts of it would annoy me anyway. No doubt somebody has already pointed that the WHO guidelines for all children worldwide are that they are breastfed until they are at least around 2 years old. It's not often done in the UK though.

If you are going to breastfeed an 18 month old toddler in public, you will have to develop a thick skin smile However, when more people feel comfortable breastfeeding their toddlers, this will help to normalise it, so that hopefully the next generation of western mums will feel more comfortable discreetly breastfeeding their toddlers in public.

There will always be some people who judge. I was judged for breastfeeding and now I am judged for feeding my child McDonalds chips and letting him go to preschool dressed as Batman.

Hope you haven't had too many judgy comments on this thread...

mumnosbest Wed 05-Dec-12 11:38:52

i think the issue here is about the other mums expressing their opinion aboout OPs parenting choices. They were plain rude and I hope it doesn't stop you bf in public. They're lucky it was you and not me as I would have said something.

We're all entitled to our opinions but not to voice them to complete strangers and so rudely.

SolomanDaisy Wed 05-Dec-12 11:59:10

Ignore the rude women, both the ones in the cafe and the ones on here. There are some bloody stupid suggestions here - express, give juice?! FFS. Just give your baby the healthy, natural breastfeed s/he wants. Have to admit I usually hide in the toilets with DS now, I can't be bothered with people judging. He looks a lot older than he is, so I assume people would judge.

nickelbabylyinginamanger Wed 05-Dec-12 12:23:03

"My friends DD drank a lot of milk during the day at that age and the HV told her she needed to stop as she wasn't actually eating enough proper food for her age and that she needed more nutrients by then than the milk provides."

which is actually against WHO and NHS guidelines.
your friend's HV was wrong and unprofessional to give that "advice"

nickelbabylyinginamanger Wed 05-Dec-12 12:30:55

re: drinking in the night.
I drink my allotted drinks of 1-2 litres a day, and still have a glass beside my bed, which i have a couple or more sips of when i wake in the night.
always have.

catkind Wed 05-Dec-12 17:16:18

"the baby juice that is okay"?? No juice is okay from 4 months surely [hmmm] Sounds like a dodgy marketing thing to me, I'd be skeptical if I were you. A 4 month old should not be drinking anything except milk. Water at a pinch on a very hot day if ff. But maybe you don't have a littlie any more anyway.

MrsMelons Wed 05-Dec-12 17:52:22

nickel There is a lot of advice HV seem to give that go against other guidelines. Very difficult for first time mums with all the cinflicting advice. My friend was quite upset about the whoile thing as felt as if she'd been doing it all wrong when the HV said that.

Cat no mine are older now but FWIW they never had juice until they were over 12 months. The juice was available in the aisle with baby food but I can't remember the brand.

I think the advice available now is so much better but I am not sure all the HV are providing this information to new mums. In fact my SIL who has a 4 month old has never even been contacted by her HV!

EauRougelyNight Wed 05-Dec-12 18:06:14

Baby food and drinks are allowed to be advertised as suitable for 4+ months but the NHS recommendation is not to introduce foods and drinks other than milk until a baby is 6 months. So yes, just a dodgy marketing thing.

nickelbabylyinginamanger Wed 05-Dec-12 18:09:10

yes, there is MrsM- that's why I'm grateful for MN - the number of times I've had advice from here rather than ask the HV - they're either not up on their training or they're refusing to acknowledge that evidence is better than their random old wives' tales.

pigletmania Wed 05-Dec-12 18:43:37

I wake up for drinks at night, I have even been known to make mysel a cup of tea

EauRougelyNight Wed 05-Dec-12 19:19:14

Regardless of whether or not you need a drink when you wake up, it is normal to wake up every couple of hours. Adults can usually get back to sleep on their own but most babies need some help.

nickelbabylyinginamanger Wed 05-Dec-12 19:39:06

oh yes i definitely wake up a few times a night even without needing a drunk.

EauRougelyNight Wed 05-Dec-12 19:59:24

Not sure I've ever needed a drunk grin

nickelbabylyinginamanger Wed 05-Dec-12 20:14:56

shurrup I'm on my stupid phone. the "keys"are too close together. blush

nickelbabylyinginamanger Wed 05-Dec-12 20:15:51

teach me to mn when dd needs me... wink

MrsMelons Wed 05-Dec-12 20:33:17

I definitely wake up more when I am drunk grin

I do wake up every few hours though but not because I need a drink, I just go back to sleep (most of the time).

StillRockin Sat 16-Mar-13 10:01:04

I breastfed my son until he was 2. Hey the world average is 4.2 so some mums are going on even longer than that! If people dont like it they dont have to look!

jellybeans Sat 16-Mar-13 10:07:44

YANBU. I have friends that fed their 3 year olds out and about and I didn't bat an eyelid. It's normal and natural at that age and older. Let's face it the reason it is 'yucky' to some is because they are sucked in to the whole sexualisation of the breast. Read the Politics of Breastfeeding, it's an eye opener.

idshagphilspencer Sat 16-Mar-13 10:13:57

zombie thread

INeedThatForkOff Sat 16-Mar-13 10:15:05

Why bring up an old thread to say so, StillRockin? You could always have made your announcement in a new thread, over on ... oh I don't know, the feeding threads.


ebwy Sat 16-Mar-13 14:29:54

you aren't being at all unreasonable, OP, but you already know that.

My toddler still has a bottle sometimes and no-one comments - how is it any different?
Humans produce breast milk for up to 8 years for a reason!

(and if anyone thinks I'm one of those judgemental people , I couldn't bf my first for medical reasons, and my 2nd child refused the breast when he was nearly 3 months so now he's on formula )

ebwy Sat 16-Mar-13 14:30:54

oh... that'll teach me to read to the end... sorry, didn't spot that it's a zombie thread!

Whatalotofpiffle Sat 16-Mar-13 17:46:42

Sod everyone!! I am bf a 2.3 and she asks for mummy milk. Hate the bloody 'they should be on formula' Comments. All mums and babies are different, there is no 'should'

idshagphilspencer Sat 16-Mar-13 17:47:28

zombie thread

TranceDaemon Sat 16-Mar-13 19:07:56

I think the people who think feeding an 18 month old BABY in public is 'icky' shock are the same people who argue that there's nothing wrong with page 3...

Messed up world or what.

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