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to think stop moaning about how crap your life is and do something about it

(32 Posts)
Choufleur Mon 03-Dec-12 20:27:52

To cut a long story short I've had a crap year too but nothing I have any control over - one of my parents was ill for most of the year and then passed away.

I'm getting really bored with my friend moaning about how crap everything is - her house is too small, she doesn't have a job (well if you actually apply for a job then you might get one - they're not just going to magic out of thin air), she's too thin/fat (depending on which day you talk to her). I know I'm sounding harsh but her problems don't seem insurmountable.

WIBU to tell her to get a grip and do something about the things she is unhappy about?

Kalisi Tue 04-Dec-12 10:22:40

Yanbu OP. I am always there for my friends and certainly don't compare problems in terms of their 'severity', however I do have one particular friend who has definately developed a 'victim' mentality and it is extremely frustrating and requires a lot of patience to be that shoulder to cry on.
Some problems are thrown at us and some materialise through our own actions and decisions. Yes it is best not to judge and say 'I told you so' but we must all be responsible for our decisions in life and knowing someone who sits around moaning about their situation with no real intention to change it is fucking annoying.

Latara Tue 04-Dec-12 10:24:04

Oh shit that's a point... best not moan about not moaning when others moan more then even ;)

Latara Tue 04-Dec-12 10:24:44

Or something. Sorry i need a brew !

oohlaalaa Tue 04-Dec-12 10:26:22

YANBU. This book helped me:

lovelyladuree Tue 04-Dec-12 10:27:32

YANBU. Too many negative people in the world. Dump her.

NagooHoHoHo Tue 04-Dec-12 10:27:32

I have had a lovely year, but I am still fed up of a person that moans all the time and takes nothing on board that I suggest to allieviate her problems.

I don't think it's competitive misery that is at issue, it's that it's really fucking annoying when a person complains to you but doesn't want to take any advice.

Latara Tue 04-Dec-12 10:39:25

Right got a brew , at work i've noticed that some things are more socially acceptable to moan about eg. weight, the weather, work etc but it does get boring when some colleagues' conversations consist of just moaning, gossiping etc.

My Nan has minor health problems that could be easily sorted out, i've offered to make drs appts & go with her; i've offered to book a podiatrist for her feet to help mobility (she's 87) but it all gets refused.

I thought she may be depressed but i came to realise that she enjoys the fuss made by moaning about her problems in a way; i don't understand it but apparently her own mother ignored her when she was ill so it's got a psychological reason i think.

I've learnt to nod, smile, offer a quick solution (that is always refused) then change the subject; & Nan is then happy. It's odd to me but then some things are hard to understand in life.

OP's mate sounds similar maybe.

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