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to have fed my baby here?

(1000 Posts)
ariane5 Mon 03-Dec-12 11:08:35

Went shopping yesteerday.ds1. Jas a blu badge so we parked in a disabled space.went to shops and back to car couple of hours later. We have 4 dcs and the baby 7 mths started screaming and was then the car park was packd. I started to feed ds while dh got other dcs in car and an elderly couple drove past and politely asked if we were leaving, dh said sorry not yet then 2 other drivers did the same but the fourth stopped got out and said please could we hurry up, I explained that when I had fed ds we would be going but she was really angry and said a disabled space is not just for sitting in that we should go immediately. I was only another ten mins fding ds it is hard enough going out as all dcs have same condition and ds2 was really screaming I had to feed him as it was a long drive home. Was I being unreasonable?

GlaikitFizzogTheChristmasElf Mon 03-Dec-12 13:28:26

You still pay for disabled parking at my shopping centre. Is that unusual? It's not a council car park.

baublesandbaileys Mon 03-Dec-12 13:29:03

gold I think the idea is that the baby is in their car seat but you lean over them
.. which is still dangerous because your body could be lurched onto them in an impact

GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr Mon 03-Dec-12 13:30:28

Yanbu - The alternative would have been to feed the baby in the shopping center prior to going to the car or returning to the shopping center. Feeding baby in the car was therefore actually quicker, as you were feeding while your dh sorted shopping, etc.

baublesandbaileys Mon 03-Dec-12 13:32:42

I'd imagine that they are lots of reasons why a BB holder may need to sit for a bit before moving off.

Arthritis sufferers might need a quick rest between the walk to the car and going over speed bumps to get out if its really flairing up. Breathing issues might need to be calmed, the driver might want to make sure the disabled person with breathing issues is okay before taking off and being distracted, and probably many other reasons which I can't think of because I do not know why every BB holder has a BB, and neither does anyone else wanting to park there

diddl Mon 03-Dec-12 13:34:55

"You still pay for disabled parking at my shopping centre. Is that unusual?"

No idea-is it because you have to use a ticket to get through a barrier?

That´s terrible imo-there should be an attendant who can just open the barrier.

ariane5 Mon 03-Dec-12 13:38:45

Yes we still had to pay as it was multi storey park, the disabled spaces are just nearest to the shop entrance but same parking fees apply.

Pandemoniaa Mon 03-Dec-12 13:39:14

Unfortunately, shopping centres are usually privately run with car parks operated by commercial operators. They can, and do, charge for disabled parking in some cases although I think it is a shocking practice.

A few years back I was on a committee that oversaw the development of a shopping mall and was horrified by the attitude of the developers/owners and worse, by someone on the local council who treated the provision of disabled parking spaces as an "awful waste of potential revenue".

nannyl Mon 03-Dec-12 13:40:16


You have the right to bf your baby wherever you like
You were entitled to park in that space.

Would a non disabled person be expected to vacate a normal space?

I have bf in a car park several times.

No one else's buisness

diddl Mon 03-Dec-12 13:47:11

I think that´s awful as spaces are usually so limited.

Janeatthebarre Mon 03-Dec-12 13:49:29

I think, in this case, it was okay as there were no other spaces available. In general, though, if you're in a disabled space and there are no other such spaces free, I think it would be unfair to hold on to one to feed the baby and manners and consideration should compel you to move to an ordinary space so that a disabled shopper isn't prevented from using the car space.

GlaikitFizzogTheChristmasElf Mon 03-Dec-12 13:58:17

I don't know as I'm not a bb holder. I went to the centre with a friend and her ds who has a bb and was surprised when she had to pay at the machine when we were leaving. But yes it's a take a ticket job and pay on he way out.

valiumredhead Mon 03-Dec-12 14:04:32

If the OP fed her baby before coming back to the car the space would STILL be taken.

Lots of car parks make BB pay - the only advantage is that sometimes the bays are closer to the entrance.

JuliaScurr Mon 03-Dec-12 14:05:50

I've ended up late for things because all disabled spaces were taken, some by people in the car when they could easily let someone else park there and wait about 5 metres away. It is legal, but it is selfish.

BridgetBidet Mon 03-Dec-12 14:45:50

YABU my Dad has a blue badge and have been out with him a lot while my baby has been small. We would have moved to a non-blue badge space while I fed the baby.

My Dad needs the space of a disabled space to get the wheelchair sorted if he is using it that day (has MS) and also needs to be close to the centre if he is not using it. If someone was blocking a space feeding a baby he would probably have to turn round and go home. So I wouldn't block the space feeding.

Sorry, I wouldn't have done it, I think it's rude and you should have more understanding of the situation for other badge holders.

TheSunIsShining Mon 03-Dec-12 14:50:24

So the lesson here is that you would be better take all the time you need feeding your baby in a comfortable place where no one can see you rather than try and do it as quickly as possible in your car where people expect you to leave asap so that you can leave a space for people quickly.

SamSmalaidh Mon 03-Dec-12 14:51:28

But there wasn't another space Bridget.

MrsMushroom Mon 03-Dec-12 14:54:10

Of course YANBU. Ridiculous people.

EldritchCleavage Mon 03-Dec-12 14:54:29

you should have more understanding of the situation for other badge holders

2 of OP's children are badge holders. Overall, her family has a high level of need and in this instance, no other easy means of getting baby fed (and certainly none quicker than doing it in the car). Perhaps they should just not go out as a family so other badge holders don't get annoyed.

Janeatthebarre Mon 03-Dec-12 14:56:36

Well, unfortunately that's life TheSun. If people are circling a car park in need of a disabled space in the run up to Christmas they will feel a bit agrieved if they see someone sitting in one of these spaces feeding their baby. It mightn't be logical but there's an assumption that once you've finished using the shops and restaurants you no longer have need of a parking space.

ChestnutsRoastingonaWitchesTit Mon 03-Dec-12 15:02:56

If OP has a blue badge for her car and she wants to sit in it in a disabled space to read Take a Break and eat cheesy wotsits that's her business.

This other woman was being massively inconsiderate to look through the car window and see a woman trying to breastfeed her crying child while her partner wrangled 3 children into the car and even open her mouth to say anything other than, "is there any way I can help?"

I've stopped in dark country lane laybys with truckers shining their headlights through my windscreen and dodgy dogging types pulling up alongside me so I can feed my baby. You do it where you can.

TheSunIsShining Mon 03-Dec-12 15:04:18

Yep that's life.
Everyone should know that there is nothing else you can do in a car apart from driving it, even when you have a baby on board, a disabled child or an elderly person that needs a few minutes to recover from their outings before getting moving again.
If you ever have to do something else than drive the car, you should do it out of the car, if possible far away enough that no one knows you have an empty car waiting for you to climb in.

That's the rule.

Because the most important thing is that people get annoyed and angry because they haven't got up early enough to find some space easily can't find a space so you need to do your utmost to help them not getting annoyed.


Janeatthebarre Mon 03-Dec-12 15:07:22

If OP has a blue badge for her car and she wants to sit in it in a disabled space to read Take a Break and eat cheesy wotsits that's her business. Quote

Yes, but a bit inconsiderate to other disabled drivers.(and absolutely not on a par with what OP was actually doing, which was essential and justified her using the space).

MistressIggi Mon 03-Dec-12 15:45:21

But you could use a disabled space to go and sit in a cafe eating cheesy wotsits and reading take a break..

ariane5 Mon 03-Dec-12 16:36:52

I consider that iam very understanding of the needs of other bb holders and not 'rude' at all. I know how difficult it is going anywhere when you have health issues and I would not want to make things difficult for others.we rarely go out and I really didn't like being shouted at.

Abbicob Mon 03-Dec-12 16:41:42

YANBU - and why should you have left the spot to double park and potentially put yourself at risk of getting hit by another car.

People should have a bit more patience. Christmas shopping brings out the worst in people.

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