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to have fed my baby here?

(1000 Posts)
ariane5 Mon 03-Dec-12 11:08:35

Went shopping yesteerday.ds1. Jas a blu badge so we parked in a disabled space.went to shops and back to car couple of hours later. We have 4 dcs and the baby 7 mths started screaming and was then the car park was packd. I started to feed ds while dh got other dcs in car and an elderly couple drove past and politely asked if we were leaving, dh said sorry not yet then 2 other drivers did the same but the fourth stopped got out and said please could we hurry up, I explained that when I had fed ds we would be going but she was really angry and said a disabled space is not just for sitting in that we should go immediately. I was only another ten mins fding ds it is hard enough going out as all dcs have same condition and ds2 was really screaming I had to feed him as it was a long drive home. Was I being unreasonable?

Mrskbpw Mon 03-Dec-12 11:25:38

I don't think you were BU, but I'm shocked at the suggestion you should have fed the baby in a moving car. Surely very dangerous? Unless you can somehow feed them in a car seat, while strapped in yourself?!

ariane5 Mon 03-Dec-12 11:26:41

I couldn't possibly feed ds whilst dh driving is that even allowed ? Sounds v dangerous. Any other car park w could jave double parked or moved but ev space occupied and nowhere to move to at all

squeakytoy Mon 03-Dec-12 11:27:45

I agree that you should have moved to a non-disabled space if you were going to simply be sat in the car. It would be frustrating for someone trying to park who needs to then get out of their car to get to their destination. You didnt need to get out of your car after feeding, so could have parked in any other space.

GlaikitFizzogTheChristmasElf Mon 03-Dec-12 11:27:54

I cannot believe someone has suggested you feed whilst the car was moving! Utter madness! And illegal!

Yanbu. Disabled spaces are available on a first come first served basis, just like any other space.

Janeatthebarre Mon 03-Dec-12 11:28:55

?? but so was everyone else who was parked in the disabled spaces.. and they might have been having a REALLY leisurely lunch themselves before meandering back with a bit of window shoppping - which is not UR either! [quote].

The point is, though, that they had finished in the shopping centre, could see the carpark was packed and they were taking up a disabled space to feed the baby. Once people started stopping and asking them if they were moving I think it would have been considerate to just move the car. If DH was driving there was nothing to stop OP from feeding the baby and the disabled space would have been freed up for another disabled driver.

WeAreSix Mon 03-Dec-12 11:29:09

Never, ever breast feed in a moving car. What an utterly ridiculous suggestion.

Tailtwister Mon 03-Dec-12 11:29:22

I don't think it's feasible or legal to bf a baby in a moving car!

YANBU OP. Double parking wasn't an option in your location and it's not really anyone's business how long you were taking. If you had stayed in the shopping centre to feed then your car would still have been taking up the space anyway.

baublesandbaileys Mon 03-Dec-12 11:31:39

no Janeatthebarre, not feeding in the car wouldn't free up the space, it would take it up for longer because the only reasonable alternative would be to get everyone back out again and head off to the cafe for however long the feed plus everyone's drinks took. So the space would be occupied for longer!

There are not convenient "pull in" lay-by type areas in any multistory car parks I've been in!

Janeatthebarre Mon 03-Dec-12 11:31:51

Apologies. I didn't make myself clear. I meant DH could move the car to another location and then OP could feed baby while DH would be there to move car if it was causing an obstruction or somesuch.

baublesandbaileys Mon 03-Dec-12 11:34:12

move it to where? presumably if they have a blue badge they need it, so not reasonable to expect the DH to go park it else where

they weren't causing an obstruction, they were in a designated parking space

TooManyDicksOnTheDancefloor Mon 03-Dec-12 11:34:49

YANBU, i can't believe some of the comments on this thread. Feed a baby who isn't strapped into a car seat whilst the car is being driven? Does it matter if the OP was in the car feeding the baby or in a cafe feeding the baby? The space is still being used either way.

Janeatthebarre Mon 03-Dec-12 11:36:29

True, I was probably a bit quick to jump in with my YABU. I suppose I was thinking of the other disabled drivers because I remember how awkward it used to be for my father if there were no spaces free, but I can see if the baby was screaming the OP didn't have much choice.
Apologies OP. YANBU.

ISeeThreadPeople Mon 03-Dec-12 11:37:38

I feed ds all the time while ds is driving. grin

squeakytoy Mon 03-Dec-12 11:37:48

"move it to where? presumably if they have a blue badge they need it, so not reasonable to expect the DH to go park it else where"

move it out of the disabled space. of course it is reasonable to park anywhere else if you are not going to be getting out of the car!

ChaoticforlifenotjustChristmas Mon 03-Dec-12 11:40:00

According to the OP all the other spaces were occupied. To double park would have inconvenienced everybody else.


baublesandbaileys Mon 03-Dec-12 11:40:06

I don't have a blue badge, but have "taken up" many a parking space while feeding DS. Costa/starbucks is expensive! espeically if you're only spending money in there so that you can sit down for a feed! Noone else could park in my space while I was there and noone ever complained!

baublesandbaileys Mon 03-Dec-12 11:41:47

squeakytoy, the car park was full! moving would have meant moving out of the car park or blocking everyone!

EldritchCleavage Mon 03-Dec-12 11:44:21

I don't understand the mentality that says if you sit in your car in a car park you are unfairly depriving someone of a space, but if you leave the car to go off you aren't. The effect is the same-the space is occupied.

YANBU, OP. DH and I have had the same reaction when I bf'ed in the car. It is no one's business why I fed in the car and not elsewhere, and no one's business really that we are sitting in the car in the car park. As long as you are doing something immediately necessary that you couldn't do while driving, you are not being unreasonable doing it in your parking space (I say 'immediately necessary' to exclude e.g. knitting a jumper/reading newspaper cover to cover/putting nail varnish on which you should probably go and do at home).

StuckOnTopOfTheChristmasTree Mon 03-Dec-12 11:47:18

This is probably a symptom of the crazy period that is upon us - everyone wants to get to the shops with minimum fuss but its just not possible because of the time of year - and people are getting frazzled with car parks being full to brimming and they can't get a space - and the problem is with all spaces, disabled and regular.
In my view YANBU - you had a spot and you are free to use that spot as long as you are entitled to. Its not like you were doing something frivolous to prevent that space being freed up. The alternative option of feeding in the shops would have taken longer as well as being more difficult given your situation and hence the fact you are entitled to the blue badge.
Unfortunately this situation and similar ones are going to keep repeating over the next few weeks because the crowds are just going to get bigger and people are going to increasingly be more stressed. Very few seem to cope or behave well, which just leads to an ever growing circle of stress that people pay out to each other. The only answer is to take deep breaths and try and have a little circle of calm around you and your family, even if everyone else has gone crazy!

BatCave Mon 03-Dec-12 11:47:22

It is possible to feed a baby strapped into their carseat while you are belted yourself, just lean over grin it's not ideal granted.

Anyway, I think YANBU if its non limited parking then whose business is it what you do while you're parked there? I'm assuming it wasn't the case that you'd overstayed an allotted time/overrun your ticket or something.

takataka Mon 03-Dec-12 11:47:48

OP had a screaming baby and 3 other disabled children with her if I understand correctly...

it is ridiculous to suggest they start moving car elsewhere/ OP heads off with baby back to cafes to feed (that could take a good hour to return, find seat in cafe/purchase beverage etc)

missymoomoomee Mon 03-Dec-12 11:48:00

YANBU, none of the people would have hunted you down in the shopping centre to move your car because they didn't approve of the way you were spending your time whilst parked there. You were busy makes no odds if you were sitting in the car or not.

Afrodizzywonders Mon 03-Dec-12 11:48:14

YANBU, I've been in a normal car parking space feeding my baby with people hassling me to get out, the options were another 20 mins of a baby screaming. Plus I preferred the privacy the car sometimes gave me to feed rather than out and about on the shopping centre.

My baby needed to eat, I've paid for my parking space. Blue badge holder or not....people sometimes have to wait, having a pop at a woman feeding her baby in a car is pretty shite if you ask me, nice society we live in.

valiumredhead Mon 03-Dec-12 11:48:42

When I go shopping I often have to go back to my car and rest/put shopping bags in the boot as I can't carry them far, before starting again. YANBU

baublesandbaileys Mon 03-Dec-12 11:52:27

"It is possible to feed a baby strapped into their carseat while you are belted yourself, just lean over it's not ideal granted"
with 3 other kids there's prob not a lot of space between the car seats to seat hop so you're in boobs reach from the baby's seat!

But yes tis the season to be a bit of a cunt to your fellow shoppers! people were literally bashing poor DS in the face in town yesterday and trying to walk through us! I ended up carrying him (he's a big heavy boy who is too old really to be carried and I am nearly 9 months pregnant)

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