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To yearn for more DC's?

(11 Posts)
Anythingforabitofpeace Sat 01-Dec-12 20:52:01

So I have DS 3.8 and DD 1.5. DH is adamant no more DCs. My head says 2 is great and to be honest it's been hard work so far. DD has been a very clingy child who won't let me leave her sight and DS has been emotionally sensitive from the very start. Sometimes I feel it's a constant battle with both if them at the moment.

But I just cannot settle myself that I won't have anymore. The main reason is so the kids will have more siblings and grow up with plenty of ready made friends round them. I have two older brothers and always wanted a sister and I feel sad that I won't give DD the chance to have a sister or DS the chance do a brother.

I'm 28 so I know there is still plenty of time, but I get frustrated that even if I really wanted to if DH says no there's nothing I can do.

porridgewithalmondmilk Sat 01-Dec-12 20:57:09

I don't think you're being at all unreasonable to yearn for more children.

You would of course be unreasonable to have them if your husband isn't keen!

Obviously it's something you'll need to keep talking to your DH about, but I can see his point too if I'm honest - as I'm sure you know, siblings don't equal ready made friends (my brother was and is an absolute nightmare)

AyeOopMoose Sat 01-Dec-12 21:04:15

I feel exactly the same.

We have 2 lovely DCs and I would love one more. DH has said no way & unlike you I am in my v late 30s so in a few years it will be too late.

I get annoyed that DH will get his way and I have no choice. Either way one of us will end up disappointed.

MistressIggi Sat 01-Dec-12 21:08:40

AyeOop I think it is unlikely your dh would be disappointed if you had dc3 - his heart would rule his head when the baby came, surely? That's not to say you should have more.
I'd like a third (if I could do it magically, never going through a pregnancy again!). I came from a big family and my siblings (with one exception) certainly weren't my friends.

Anythingforabitofpeace Sat 01-Dec-12 21:09:02

I realise it doesn't necessarily mean they'll be best friends but I just want to give them another sibling to share their life with.

Someone has to be disappointed, it's a frustrating feeling knowing we don't agree on something so huge.

bradywasmyfavouriteking Sat 01-Dec-12 21:12:41

Yanbu to want more. Although I think your reasons are a bit U.

Siblings are nit forced to be grid as or even like each other. I am very luck as my brother is my best friend and my 2 kids get on well.

But that's not always the case. Loads of my friends barely speak to their siblings or only on birthdays, Christmas.

Dh has seen his sister 3 times this year. At her wedding, his mums birthday and his dads birthday.

Anythingforabitofpeace Sat 01-Dec-12 21:22:08

Maybe in projecting my insecurities onto DCs. I have zero close female friends and think that if DD had a sister that would reduce the chances of the same thing happening to her.

She does however have 4 very close girl cousins and 3 boy cousins so they do have close extended family.

SickOfBeingSoScared Sat 01-Dec-12 21:27:34

Yes. I have 4 and it's a bloody nightmare because they all hate each other! I have always been mystified by this rosy image people have of lots of DCs all playing together nicely and doing all the housework while I MN . Although saying that DH was terrified when I got pg with DC4 but is absolutely smitten with him and has been more 'hands on' than with any of the others.

I am also one of 8 siblings spread out all over the world and we rarely have contact unless there's a wedding or bad news. DCs never get birthday cards or Christmas presents from them. Bastards, the lot of them but unfortunately that is down to the way we were brought up sad.

TeaDr1nker Sat 01-Dec-12 21:34:54

YANBU to want more children, I have 2 DC would love to have another two TBH as would DP but since both births had complications we have agreed to stop at two.

Also, I would say coming from a family of four, we dont all get on at all, very fractured in fact so it could be that if you had more they might not get on, get into adulthood and not talk to the rest of the family.

You may stick with two and really nuture their relationship as we are doing, so hopefully they will always get on and keep in touch/be close etc etc

I can see both sides, and as you say you have age on your side. Wait a few years, your OH may get broody again in time

bradywasmyfavouriteking Sat 01-Dec-12 21:35:54

I don't have a sister I have 2 very close female friends. One from being 4. The other from being a teen.

The second ended up marrying my brother. So I did end up with a sister.
But you don't need to be brought up with girls to have close female friends.

I have 8 close cousins all male. I am th only girl in the family and i have never struggled.

bradywasmyfavouriteking Sat 01-Dec-12 21:39:24

I have a dd (8) and ds (21 months) they are very close.
He gets up on a morning and gets in her bed until she wake up. She reads him his bedtime story, when we go for walks, its her hand he insists on holding.
When she is here, he is stuck to her. Loves to hug and kiss her, wants to play with her before me or dh.

They are a boy and girl but couldn't be closer.

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