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to wonder why DS has been sent a 'girly' birthday card again?

(186 Posts)
CocoPopsAddict Fri 30-Nov-12 21:50:21

He is 2.

I appreciate the receiving a card, I really do, but... this couple (who are/were friends are my deceased) did the same thing on his birthday last year.

This year's is purple with pink butterflies... last year's I don't remember well but it was pink with a picture of a girl doing something birthday-like.

Cards not received last-minute so it wasn't like they thought they'd miss the post and had to send something they already had at home. Also money (or rather, lack of) not an issue here.

Is it odd thing for them to do? Am I being unreasonably ungrateful?

MrsMushroom Fri 30-Nov-12 22:22:12

MrsMelons you've got to ask yourself why DS1 would hate it? Why?

CocoPopsAddict Fri 30-Nov-12 22:22:57

MrsMelons - thank you, you have said just what I meant.

bedmonster Fri 30-Nov-12 22:23:14

Well maybe for a start it's for the convenience of shop staff to stack the shelves. Maybe it's easier for customers to start looking for specific products.
Doesn't mean that it's what you have to buy. Don't people use their own common sense when looking? I bought, on request from DD, Thomas the Tank engine train and a few other trains to go with her train set we have bought her for Christmas. I looked where the meccano and star wars sets were. Did I get huffy because these items were all lumped in together? No. I was happy that I could find it easily.
Not saying that gender division doesn't exist. It does. But the toys were also separated into age categories and there was an outdoor plays section. Can't say I would be getting uptight and frantically upset about those categories either.
Seems like people actually look for stuff to go out and get offended by.

peeriebear Fri 30-Nov-12 22:23:26

OP is not ungratefully complaining, just saying it's an odd choice. It is a bit of an odd choice to send a card that the manufacturers have designed to appeal to little girls, to a little boy. There are reams of gender neutral cards out there to choose from, so IMO the OP is perfectly entitled to think it's a little unusual.

msbear Fri 30-Nov-12 22:25:09

Most children couldn't give a flying monkey about the card, it's the bit parents make them endure for politeness' sake. Presents, that's what it's all about...

exoticfruits Fri 30-Nov-12 22:25:12

The feminist board would get very annoyed by stereotyping cards for 2 year olds!
If it is a grandparent maybe they find buying cards difficult-my mother has to put up with a very limited choice because of disability problems.
Does it matter? Does he care?

Hobbitation Fri 30-Nov-12 22:25:29

I am perhaps reading this thread differently. I think the OP has said several times that the card content doesn't bother her but is wondering if her relatives think her DS is a DD.

exoticfruits Fri 30-Nov-12 22:26:25

Why do you need a different card for a 2 yr old boy or girl?

MrsMushroom Fri 30-Nov-12 22:26:25

bed you're ignoring the idiotic colour coding that goes on. And ease of shelf stacking is not affected by colour! How old is your DD? Once theyt get to school, they get terribly affected by their peers...and all the little boys feel they MUST love Ben10 and not Charlie and Lola or any girly shows...likewise with the girls.

Peerie...boys of two just like colour and glitter...just like girls of two. There IS no appealing to little girls tastes then because they are too young to have been indoctrinated by manufacturers.

peeriebear Fri 30-Nov-12 22:28:07

And yes it irritates the living shit out of me when shop aisles are labelled for boys and girls. I go around muttering "Oho, so now Moshi Monsters/Doctor Who/[insert my DDs' latest fad] isn't for girls then?" It actually seems more prevalent now than in previous years.

FestiveWench Fri 30-Nov-12 22:28:16

This link may help:

Mumsyblouse Fri 30-Nov-12 22:28:20

I try to challenge the gender colour stereotyping in my own household, by providing my children with a range of colours to wear, not buying 'pink' gadgets (unless requested) and generally trying to raise aware girls who don't feel bound in by this stuff. However, that's my battle and I would never deliberately send a clearly wrongly gendered card to someone else; that's their battle and I don't think the point of a birthday is to make people feel uncomfortable. I often send far pinker/girle stuff boy/stuff to other children for birthdays, just because it's not very nice to make them part of your social experiment on their birthday.

Having said that, they probably are using them up (or muddled as to whether you had a boy or girl!)

tanfastic Fri 30-Nov-12 22:28:23

When choosing cards for my ds's friends I do tend to go for the ones with flowers, fairies, princesses for the girls and trains, cars etc for the boys.....shoot me hmm.

However at two years' old really they won't give a fuck. Ds's grandad gave him one with a fairy on last year, he's was three and didn't bat an eyelid.

I can understand why you would think it was odd though op, even if most don't.

I knew when I read your post how this thread would turn out.

Hulababy Fri 30-Nov-12 22:29:44

I buy toys etc online. I search for what I want to buy. The item comes up. How it is labelled (re boy/girl) isn't a factor as I only search for key items.

DD's had all manner of stuff over the years. She's had different phases over the years too.

But for all I would buy DD toys and games without taking notice of so called gender I wouldn't buy a pink butterfly card for a little boy if I am honest - not unless he had expressed a like for them. I don;t think that is an unusual thing to do.

Hulababy Fri 30-Nov-12 22:30:37

But yes - as soon as your OP I could guarantee exactly how the thread would go - and no, I have not been disproved.

Hobbitation Fri 30-Nov-12 22:30:42

Once theyt get to school, they get terribly affected by their peers...and all the little boys feel they MUST love Ben10 and not Charlie and Lola or any girly shows...likewise with the girls.

Maybe at first, but in DD1's case that ended in reception. By Year 1 she decided she liked football & wanted to do it after school.

MrsMushroom Fri 30-Nov-12 22:30:57

Hula that's're not a little girl or boy who is affected by marketing in the same way.

peeriebear Fri 30-Nov-12 22:31:22

I'm not saying they are supposed to be for girls, the manufacturers and stockists are. And often pink glittery cards have pictures of little girls on.

tethersend Fri 30-Nov-12 22:31:38

Butterflies for a BOY?

Another example of Broken Britain.


TheOriginalSteamingNit Fri 30-Nov-12 22:31:55

Oh, dd2 has a unisex name (think Nicky type name, but not Nicky) and has had cards from great grandparents 'happy birthday, Grandson'.... The elderly get it a bit wrong sometimes.

MrsMushroom Fri 30-Nov-12 22:32:06

Hobbit good on your DD but she's a rare case I should think.

MrsMelons Fri 30-Nov-12 22:33:20

MrsMushroom I haven't got to ask myself anything at all thank you! I have just said DS2 loves pink/purple and DS1 doesn't.

Have you ever actually thought that boys do actually like traditionally boyish thing? I had an interesting conversation with a teacher who teaches a YR boys class. They said it is amazing how boys naturally go towards traditionally boyish things even if they are brought up in a house where there are no toy superheroes/guns etc - its not always gender sterotyping!

There are colours I quite dislike but as an adult I have it in perspectiive.

baublesandbaileys Fri 30-Nov-12 22:34:06

my 3YO DS loves "blutterflies"

most likely they buy their cards in packs, a pink and purple butterfly card is pretty multifunctional I'd have thought

OP you are so UR!

MrsMushroom Fri 30-Nov-12 22:34:42

MrsMelons chill out....of course some boys like traditionally boyish toys...and some girls do too. What's your point?

CocoPopsAddict Fri 30-Nov-12 22:34:49

I suppose I just expected most people to 'play it safe' with people they don't know really well. As Mumsyblouse says.

I honestly don't dislike the card. I was just imagining myself standing in a shop picking a card for a two-year-old boy who I'd met a handful of times but didn't know well. I wouldn't pick something clearly marketed at the opposite gender (whether that marketing is correct or not... and I see I have opened a can of worms there).

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