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To want to punch people who say - "cheer up love, it might never happen"

(129 Posts)
dawsonjunior Fri 30-Nov-12 03:19:29

Have an afternoon off with a friend, go to costa. I save a table whilst she ordered drinks.
Quite a queue so I was waiting, having a little think about life. When the man on the table next to me says - cheer up love, might never happen.

I must have given him quite the dirty look because he did apologise BUT it's such an insensitive comment for a stranger to make. For all he know I could have been told I had a week to live.

Wish people would keep their bloody comments to themselves.

OutragedFromLeeds Fri 30-Nov-12 03:23:15

I think queuing in Costa would be a real waste of time if you only had a week to live.

dawsonjunior Fri 30-Nov-12 03:25:43


I'm just making the point that a stranger knows nothing about what's happening in my life and should keep their comments to themselves.

CaliforniaLeaving Fri 30-Nov-12 03:28:16

Maybe he fancied you and was trying to get a conversation started.

Bilbobagginstummy Fri 30-Nov-12 06:02:38


And it's always men. Generally older, always think its their place to make personal comments to strangers. They should mind their own business and STFU.

MightTinge Fri 30-Nov-12 06:05:42

YANBU its so rude.

echt Fri 30-Nov-12 06:06:58

YANBU. Some arsehole men said this to me as I was walking to hospital for a D&C after a miscarriage.

MammaTJ Fri 30-Nov-12 06:07:00

YANBU!! You might have just come from someones death bed!!

AllOverIt Fri 30-Nov-12 06:09:33

YANBU. I hate that phrase it makes me angry

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Fri 30-Nov-12 06:30:13

Yanbu I too loathe that phrase, so rude. Its like they expect you to walk around grinning like a cheshire cat all the time.

ipswichwitch Fri 30-Nov-12 06:49:13

Someone said that to me not long after DS was stillborn and I replied with "too late. It already bloody has" sad

Sirzy Fri 30-Nov-12 06:51:38

Someone said that to me when I was sat in the hospital canteen once. I decided against explaining to him that my son being in HDU and being close to being transfered to ITU had already happened!

EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin Fri 30-Nov-12 07:03:45

I absolutely hate it.

It is always men who say it, you're right. Cheeky fuckers.

Ipswich I'm sorry sad I had it said to me shortly after ds died, I screamed at the bloke blush

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 30-Nov-12 07:05:52

It is always cheeky blokes of a certain age, who somehow feel entitled to make comments to you because you are a woman.

I normally give a sarcastic smile and then go back to whatever I was doing.

MinnieBar Fri 30-Nov-12 07:17:48

Patronising death stare. Tis the only way. Bastards.

joanofarchitrave Fri 30-Nov-12 07:23:46

Susan Hill wrote about having this said to her by a man literally ten minutes after leaving her second daughter's deathbed. What makes it worse was that he was a hospital switchboard operator.

I'm sure there are studies somewhere that women are supposed to smile more than men and are judged for not doing so.

EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin Fri 30-Nov-12 07:27:36

Who's Susan Hill? Poor poor woman sad

FreyaFridays Fri 30-Nov-12 07:30:34

It's a horribly inappropriate thing to say, YANBU. And you're right, it does seem to be mostly men who are ignorant enough to say it...

exoticfruits Fri 30-Nov-12 07:41:26

It was said to me shortly after my DH died in an accident! Do people not understand that sometimes it has actually happened? Or how much worse is it supposed to get before you are allowed to look miserable?

AtAmber Fri 30-Nov-12 07:43:07

A bus driver said it to me when I was going to buy something to wear for my mum's funeral.

PeggyCarter Fri 30-Nov-12 07:43:25

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Notafoodbabyanymore Fri 30-Nov-12 07:52:32

How weird, I was just thinking about this saying this morning, and how utterly stupid it is.

So sorry to hear that some of you have been made to feel worse about an awful situation by someone being rude enough to say this.


HairyGrotter Fri 30-Nov-12 07:55:04

I've no idea why people feel the need to say that. I've had a few times, fair enough, I look a bit of a miserable goth, but my response is usually "It has happened, you started talking to me", works a treat.

I have never said it to anyone, and I have no intention of saying it to someone, who knows what is happening in a persons life when you see just a quick snapshot of their day

Katienana Fri 30-Nov-12 07:55:04

Yanbu, a man said this to me as I was on my way to the shop to buy some chocolate...ten minutes after my mum had phoned to tell me my nana had died.
I just ignored him, bet he would have felt like shit if i'd told him why I looked glum.

exoticfruits Fri 30-Nov-12 08:19:29

The trouble is that when they do say it you are feeling too vulnerable to do anything other than ignore and so they get away with it.

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