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To think actually, this IS about benefits?

(100 Posts)
Apprenticefan Thu 29-Nov-12 21:05:15

I feel desperately sorry for this woman over the awful loss of her son, but although she maintains that all this isn't about benefits, I can't help but feel it is. AIBU.

sashh Fri 30-Nov-12 01:55:17

It's only means tested benefits she can't claim. So she will still get either incapacity benefit or ESA, depending on whether she has been switched yet. And she will also get DLA.

DLA has two rates for mobiity and three for care, by the amount she is getting it looks like she only gets one payment, possibly the lower mobility part.

Actually I'm sure she should get more than £140 a week as she also gets child benefit. Not that she needs it if her sons are not living with her.

The best soloution?

Probably to buy a house or two, one for each boy. Live in one, rent the other out and live on the rent from the other. Write a will leaving the houses to the boys, or even put them in the boys names now with a clause that she can live there for X years.

And yes I did check house prices in the area. Bromyard HR7&radius=15&results_sort=newest_listings&search_source=refine

bradywasmyfavouriteking Fri 30-Nov-12 07:20:11

The simple fact is that if you have 200k in the bank you don't qualify for means tested benefits.

My brother died in afganistan and his second tour. Before his first the were spoken to about wills and the impact of their death and payouts on their family.

He was spoken to again before his second tour. Of this man wanted the money in trust funds he had more than ample opportunity to do it, correctly.

She can use the money to bring up the sons. However she has chosen to send them off to live with their grandparents and not bring them up at all.

And as for the bit where she says it will be the governments fault if she dies. No it won't, it will be her fault that her sons are having to deal with the death of their brother and mother.

I think her attitude stinks because she is not putting the children first.

manticlimactic Fri 30-Nov-12 07:29:06

Hang on, her children don't even live with her? Is this a permanent thing?

I saw her on Daybreak yesterday and couldn't muster any sympathy regarding her benefit cut to be honest.

MammaTJ Fri 30-Nov-12 07:34:59

The children were sent to live elsewhere so they don't witness what she is foing to herself.

HappyMummyOfOne Fri 30-Nov-12 07:36:32

What an awful story. So she has sent her children else where to live and not eating all so that she can keep the money in the bank. Poor poor children.

stillorsparkling Fri 30-Nov-12 07:37:14

I have hypermibillity syndrome (v. mild) I know one other who has it pretty severely. As we are work colleagues I can confirm that it does not preclude having a job.

MammaTJ Fri 30-Nov-12 07:37:31


Dawndonna Fri 30-Nov-12 07:38:55

Okay, anybody who knows me knows which side I'm usually on. This however is wrong. She could be using the money for the siblings. Having a bit of a buffer offers different opportunities to those available when there is no buffer.

Unfair on my philosophy lecturer husband who is so disabled that there are days when he is barely coherent, let alone being able to move, drink, eat etc. There are people who for whatever reason are so disabled that they are unable to work. You sound as though you work for ATOS.

MadameCastafiore Fri 30-Nov-12 07:43:59

Where is the father of these kids in all of this?

Seems terribly sad but as everyone has said he had ample opportunity to sort out his will before going on tour.

And no she would not be forcefed, would be huge problem getting her diagnosed as not mentally competent which is what we have to do to insert NG tubes.

She just sounds awfully selfish, with a huge sense of entitlement.

bradywasmyfavouriteking Fri 30-Nov-12 07:44:17

The children were sent to live elsewhere so they don't witness what she is foing to herself

So the kids won't see the papers? Won't know anyone who has seen it? she is eating liquid food.

The point is that her kids should be with her. Because she shouldn't be doing this in the first place.

Right now her poor kids have lost their brother and had to love to their GPs. Even though she could look after them, but is choosing not to.

Its her choice to do this and put her kids through this.

I sympathise with wants happened. I have been there when I lost my brother. But what she is doing to her kids is wrong.

TroublesomeEx Fri 30-Nov-12 10:29:59

So she quite likes the idea of being rich (which £200k in the bank would make her imo) but also living off the state too.


Sounds like she's been rubbing her hands at how well off she's going to be only now she's finding that, just like everyone else, that money is intended to be used for her/the family to live on and not as a bonus nest egg.

mercibucket Fri 30-Nov-12 10:50:38

We're all full of sympathy on this thread I see this morning

If my son had been killed in action, I'd also have wanted that money to go towards something concrete, not be slowly frittered away on day-to-day living expenses that would have been covered by the state if my son had not died serving his country. It's a shame these payments are not exempt, as other payments can be. It's also of course a shame her son didn't make a proper will. Isn't it possible to vary a will after death if you, the person inheriting, agree to it? Did he not make a will at all and it just went to the next of kin?

I'd have thought with a good lawyer there was a pretty easy way round this eg buying a house as suggested, setting up trust funds. But she sounds like this has all got on top of her and it is irrational grief talking

I don't see why we can't make death-in-service payments for members of the forces who die in our name, exempt as sources of income for benefits purposes. I see money wasted in worse ways by our government, like sending young people off to die on wars fought on dubious legal grounds, for instance

OwlLady Fri 30-Nov-12 10:59:16

I am laughing now. I wonder whether Stephen Hawkings knowsthat he is brought into any discussion about disabled people working whether it be down the pub, online or whatever.

I feel dreadfully sad for the lady, her son looked lovely sad and it's tragic. I do think she should just buy a house with the money though

GreenEggsAndNichts Fri 30-Nov-12 11:05:07

Insurance payouts for bereaved families are often with the idea that day-to-day living is expensive and to help with that whilst the family recovers.

The very idea that she thinks she can keep 200k AND live off the taxpayer just shocks me. And of course, she'll be able to, if she buys a couple of houses with the money. shock

I'm sorry for those who think the reason for her receiving the money should have any bearing on whether or not she receives benefits, but I don't agree. Benefits are there to help people who need them, and someone with 200k in the bank does not need money from the state. If I had a massive inheritance from my family, I'd also not expect more money from the state.

I'm very sorry she lost her son. sad

traipsingalong Fri 30-Nov-12 11:17:50

I'm not sure that her buying a house will automatically mean she'll get her benefits back - they are likely to call it "willful depreciation of capital" or something - meaning that she's deliberately spent the money in order to claim benefits. This happened to a friend of mine who inherited 20K and used it to pay off part of her mortgage.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Fri 30-Nov-12 11:26:44

She needs help. Counselling if she hasnt had any. She isnt right in the head imo. No one in the goverment are going to "start a dialogue" or whatever with someone behaving like a cranky 5 year old.

She's about to be evicted for not paying her rent. She has the money to. She just doesnt want to. Her DC she has now will then be homeless. How is THAT in their best interests?! If she doesn't pay her council tax she could end up going to prison for it. Her children wont have their mum for a while. A bit like now actually hmm

FFS they've lost their big brother. They need their mum to be a mum to them. It might seem unfair but her son didn't make a will to say he wanted the brothers to have the money. It's sad he died, ofcourse it is, but the only person to blame for that money going to his mum and not into a trust for the 2 brothers is him.

LtEveDallas Fri 30-Nov-12 11:31:49

He will have made a will. He had to before he went. He wouldn't have been able to deploy without one.

All soldiers go through what we call an MCCP in the couple of weeks before they deploy and Wills are one of the things that are checked (as are insurances etc).

We only have her word for it that he wanted money to go to his brothers. Forces Will forms are very easy to understand, and ask the right questions. Regts also have financial briefs from independent financial advisors every year, but of course he may not have attended.

I am afraid I have little sympathy for her now. I have HUGE amounts of sympathy for her other children who are now not only suffering from the death of their brother, but may have to lose mum too.

(although if she still has milkshakes, water and soups she isn't going to die any time soon - so its probably all a publicity stunt)

HoratiaWinwood Fri 30-Nov-12 11:35:25

As an aside, and without having read the article, I thought when soldiers went to the front line they all made wills as part of the preparation for going, along with writing "to be opened in the event of..." letters and so forth.

So he will have made a will, and the fact that it doesn't reflect what she claims were his wishes is hardly the government's fault.

FrillyMilly Fri 30-Nov-12 11:44:07

She should buy a small house which would mean she doesn't need housing benefit. Council tax for a single adult in a small house isn't huge. Then put what is left over (possibly £100k depending on where she lives) in trust for the two sons. The house would also most likely increase in value during her lifetime and she could pass it on to her sons when she dies. Maybe her dead son wanted her to be financially secure, own her own house and not survive on benefits. I know that's what I would want if it was my mother.

LtEveDallas Fri 30-Nov-12 11:48:30

In THIS report it says she has already spent half the money she received. That's an awful lot of cash in 3 years shock

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Fri 30-Nov-12 12:17:26

Eh? So he made a will? Then what's the problem? Unless ofcourse he made it saying his mother was to get the lot (nothing wrong with that imo).

This all sounds like an ill thought out publicity stunt and I doubt many people have much sympathy. I dont. I'm sorry her son has died but really her boys who are still alive need their mum to be a mum and stop messing around and acting like a tantrumming toddler.

spotsdots Fri 30-Nov-12 12:19:18

I feel sorry for her loss of a child but I don't see how starving will help the other children.

Can't the money be transfered into the younger children's trust fund? Or as suggested buy a property or invest into some scheme that will bring in more income.

She needs serious counselling and guidance about money investments.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHopeful Fri 30-Nov-12 12:25:47

I don't got the maths in this she has lost £300 a week in benefits since her son died but has spent half of the £218,000in 3 years on day to day expenses?

£100,000 spent over 3 years is over £2700 a week. I don't understand how you can spend £2700 a week on basics.

threesocksmorgan Fri 30-Nov-12 12:30:00

I don't get this.
she has money, she is over the amount you can have and claim benefits.
so she can't claim.
that is how it works.

JuliaScurr Fri 30-Nov-12 12:33:45

It is unfair that children of disabled parents are worse off than kids of able bodied. Disabled people's houses get sold to pay for social care in private sector old people's homes - so they don't inherit sad

likewise if she paid a mortgage out of a wage instead of rent out of benefits because she can't work, the bequest would go to the kids. Now it will go in rent.

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