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My new boss

(46 Posts)
nellyjelly Thu 29-Nov-12 09:27:03

I work for a small company which is part of a bigger organisation. We have a new boss. So far I am unimpressed with his approach and methods but my main issue at the moment is his lack of flexibility.

I have 2 children, 1 in nursery and 1 in reception. I work 4 days pw, my contracted hours. I work hard, produce what is expected and hardly ever have time off for illness, either mine or the kids. DH has 7am starts so can't assist in the mornings. Kids go to nursery and breakfast club at 7.45. I have no family or anyone near to help with childcare.

The bigger organisation that we belong to has a commitment to 'family friendly' policies; career breaks, decent mat leave, parental leave etc. however the new boss seems totally unconcerned with 'family friendly'. In his first month he has;

a) moved the weekly managers meeting to my non working day, no consultation, just expected me to rearrange my child care permanently.

B) He has arranged 2 days away at a hotel for an away day, 45 miles away from where I live but expects me to be there for 8am every morning (or stay over). Again no planning,just an instruction. Gave 2 weeks notice for this so no time to try and plan for it in terms of childcare.

C) Also has asked us all to submit our leave from Jan onwards but won't come back with an answer as is awaiting requirements from our customers so he can see who is needed. Fair enough but I need to know as I have to take school holidays and if I can't need time to organise some childcare. This takes time. The Feb half term is not that far away and holiday clubs round where I live get pretty full. Also afaik only 2 of us want that week, so why no response?

I don't expect special treatment as a parent but some level of what is reasonable. I cannot leave for work before 8 am due to childcare but given that means I always start before 9 and work my core hours, that should not be a problem. Unless he thinks 8 am starts are appropriate. Actually I don't. I need a quick turnaround on leave requests, surely asking anyone to wait weeks for an answer is unreasonable. We can't drop everything for the business.

I am the only one with small children and I am starting to feel discriminated against tbh. I get a real sense that he thinks I am a pain. AIBU? What should I do?

nellyjelly Thu 29-Nov-12 09:41:32


tallwivglasses Thu 29-Nov-12 09:45:20

Hmm. Can you get hold of the bigger company's policies and leave them lying around?

Cheddars Thu 29-Nov-12 09:48:23

Does he have children himself? What would happen if you explained all this to him?

ChunkyPickle Thu 29-Nov-12 09:52:50

Can you talk to the higher company's HR confidentially - this isn't wanting special treatment because you're a parent, but just wanting reasonable treatment as an employee!

Even if I didn't have kids I would need more notice for away days, booked meetings on my non-working day, and some kind of confirmation of leave so I can book/confirm things.

This kind of behaviour from managers will increase staff turnover.

nellyjelly Thu 29-Nov-12 10:02:51

Thanks. I think I will need to speak to him but I know he will not care. He is not in breach of policy just acting unreasonably I think. His motivation is that our funding might be pulled so he is scaring us all with ideas of redundancy etc. however we still have function in our lives outside of work which clearly isn't an issue for him.

He made a point of saying that when his kids were small his wife was back at work after 3 months full time. Well good for her but that isn't for everyone!

2 people have aleady left, 3 are on long term sick and a few of us are looking for new jobs. We were a settled functioning team until this man arrived.

tallwivglasses Thu 29-Nov-12 10:44:39

Definitely speak to someone higher up. and start looking for a new job. What a nob.

kelpeed Thu 29-Nov-12 13:46:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NewNames Thu 29-Nov-12 14:01:31

Talk to him about the meeting on your off day - maybe he hasn't noticed. And if he has, still raise it and explain why you think it'a important you are there but you can not change your days bearing in mind you are now contracted to them.

I think two weeks in long enough to arrange childcare for two early mornings. Why can't your partner ask for some flexibility at his work for those two days? As an employer myself it is infuriating when mum says, 'oh DP's employer won't be flexible!' Oh but you always expect me to, every time? This is why employers discriminate against women. If a few men made demands on their employers once in a blue moon things could actually change.

MaxPepsi Thu 29-Nov-12 14:12:16

Having read your post about 2 people leaving, 3 being on sick and several more of you looking.
It sounds like he's been brought in to disband the company so they can close it and not pay you redundancy!

I worked with someone who was pretty bad at their job. The managers should have sacked her she was so crap but chose to make her life at work so bad she'd leave. She did just that.

Wibblypiglikesbananas Thu 29-Nov-12 14:20:43

Hi, long term lurker but rarely post. However, I was so annoyed on your behalf! Firstly, does your contract state eg Mon-Thurs and he has moved the team meeting to eg Friday? If your contract states set days, he CAN'T make you change to come in for the team meeting.
Secondly, just tell him you can't make the team away days due to childcare issues. He can't (actively at least) do much about that. I would definitely keep a log of everything said and done on the off chance that you need it. If he isn't following company procedure, you're in a very strong position with regard to constructive dismissal if you were to end up leaving because of his discriminatory attitude. As soon as anything like this goes to a tribunal, the first thing checked is if internal processes were followed correctly. Good luck!

kelpeed Thu 29-Nov-12 14:21:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wibblypiglikesbananas Thu 29-Nov-12 14:21:45

Ps, that would obviously be a worst case scenario outcome and I'd hope you could resolve everything before it got that serious. But, you never know.

kelpeed Thu 29-Nov-12 14:22:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WilsonFrickett Thu 29-Nov-12 14:27:16

Arranging your management meeting for your day off is serious and I would see that as an attempt to undermine me. You need to request a meeting with him to discuss this formally, asking him to state the business reasons why the meeting has to be on that specific day. If he's doing it to be a PITA then you need to go to HR and take it from there.

The awayday I think you have to suck up, to be honest. New Brooms like to do things like that when they arrive in new teams, personally I would show willing and make it happen. Can't your DH go in later for two days or can you drop the DCs with friends? I just don't see this one as important in the scheme of things and think you should keep your powder dry for the fights that matter.

The holidays thing - can you see what everyone else thinks of that and get more than one person to raise it with him? Or simply ask when he can let you know?

WilsonFrickett Thu 29-Nov-12 14:28:48

And sorry to be going against the tide here, but I think two weeks is plenty notice for a manager to plan extra childcare for a one-off event. Clearly I have spent time in some unreasonable organisations!

Viviennemary Thu 29-Nov-12 14:33:35

It does seem these days that people are expected to attend meetings on days they don't work and sometimes unpaid. This to me is very unfair indeed. Part-time workers always seem to come of worse in these situations. It is assumed that as they don't work that day they are able to come in for meetings. I think you will have to take it higher and ask for company policy on attending meetings when they are on a day you don't work.

MontBlanc Thu 29-Nov-12 14:42:11

I agree with wilson the management meeting is the big thing here and really undermining you. You need to state that you absolutely need to be at the meeting but you cannot attend on your day off, so it needs to fit in with everyone who attends the meeting.

It sounds from your post you have just attended it on your day off regardless, is that right? You shouldn't just drop everything and work your days off, you need to kick up a fuss up to HR level.

nellyjelly Thu 29-Nov-12 15:08:10

Thanks for all of the ideas. No not attending the meeting as can't change my nursery days as they are full plus I don't want to.

Two weeks may seem reasonable to arrange childcare but tbh I don't really have any. It is nigh on impossible for DH to cover for me and there is no one else I can ask. Nursery doesn't open til 7.30. It will take me 60 mins to get to the meeting. He has chosen a venue around the corner from his home, I have an hours drive. I think maybe as a one off I will have to suck it up but it worries me that this is his approach. Expecting people to attend 8am meetings, outside their core hous, with no thought of what arrangements they have. Why is 9am not doable? It is ridiculous. One hour wont make a difference.

Re the leave. He won't give us an answer until he knows our customers needs from January. When they will let us know is anyones guess.

JessieMcJessie Thu 29-Nov-12 15:25:26

Go to the away day but arrive late, having explained why this is unavoidable. Stop thinking of the management meeting as being on your "day off" and ask him why it is on a day when one of the managers is not contracted to work. He wouldn't make it on a Saturday, would he?

Let us know how you get on.

nellyjelly Thu 29-Nov-12 15:37:24

Thanks I will.

ethelb Thu 29-Nov-12 15:42:08

I don;t think this is about havign children, I think they are just treating you badly tbh.

However, one big problem with having flexible workers is finding a time to meet up. I mean that in the nicest possible way. Are there other flexible workers who need to attend? is it possible that the meeting can't be held at antoher time.

If it can be contact HR.

nellyjelly Thu 29-Nov-12 16:54:59

Well his argument is we need to meet weekly to plan for the week ahead on a Monday. My day off. I suppose there is sense in that though why not Friday for the following week?

ethelb Thu 29-Nov-12 17:48:47

Hmm. Our management and planning meetings are all on Mondays tbf. Though my employers do offer lots of flexible working but strongly discourage staff not being in on Mondays.

I would have a sensible chat with hr and see what they think. They might be on your side, they may offer to negotiate other contract terms on which case you could argue something more beneficial for you.

MontBlanc Thu 29-Nov-12 17:59:56

That is a ridiculous argument that you need to plan the week ahead on a Monday, you can plan the following week any day! I really would push on this point.

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