to think that this is classed as rape?

[kaylasmum]

I posted here last week about my dds obnoxious bf. He has in my view treated her like dirt since the met. She told me today that recently when she says no to sex he carries on regardless, i'm really upset to hear this and i told her that its rape, she is trying to downplay it and make excuses for him. This is rape is'nt it?

[lubeybooby]

Yes it is.

[ElkiesBrook]

sadly, yes it is

[CindySherman]

yes it is

[ElkiesBrook]

arses, i meant sadly for your DD

[bradywasmyfavouriteking]

Yes it is. But her reaction is understandable.

Could you call womens aid or similar for advice?

[HoratiaWinwood]

Holy shit yes.

Thank goodness she told you. What a good relationship you must have!

Would she feel able to go to the police? if you were there to hold her hand?

[AllTheYoungDudes]

Yes it is,and she knows it too,otherwise she wouldn't have mentioned it.

Difficult to know how you deal with it though.

What a sad post.

[BrokenBananaTantrum]

Yes it is. So sad for your DD. Do you think she might stop seeing him?

[AllTheYoungDudes]

Does she live with him?

Could she move back with you if she does?

[WilsonFrickett]

Yes it is. Poor DD and you must be worried sick. I'd call Womens' Aid for advice, or perhaps there are some teen-focused services in your area? (sorry, I'm assuming she's quite young) like Brook for example?

[Narked]

It's not 'classed as rape'. It's the definition of rape - 'She says no to sex he carries on regardless.'

[theworldaccordingtome]

Definitely rape your poor DD

[EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin]

Yes of course.

How old is your dd?

[valiumredhead]

God, yes! How awful! I'd be tempted to tell him if he ever hurts her again I would rain merry hell down on his back and call the police I'd send dh round there too

Good that she told you x

[kaylasmum]

She has her own place, he has his own place. My dd is 28. I don't Think she'll end the relationship, he's very controlling.

[CordeliaChase]

Your poor DD. I hope she can find the strength to leave this horrible 'thing' she is with.

[sneezecakesmum]

Domestic abuse/controlling men is apparently not uncommon with teenage girls. This includes sexual abuse and carrying on when she says no is rape. Your DD needs help to get out of this relationship. Try the relationship forum on MN there are some very clued up women there with good advice.

[sneezecakesmum]

x posted. She needs to get out now and get out safely. Do get advice it can be the most dangerous time when the woman is leaving.

[Narked]

I suppose defenestration isn't an option.

I'd try to bury my anger at him and focus on building her self esteem and self worth without making it a negative about him eg not 'He's a repugnant piece of crap' but 'you are a lovely young woman.' Unfortunately she will switch off if you (rightly) keep criticising him. The fact she told you is a good sign.

[curiousuze]

Yes, this is rape. I'm so sorry.

[EverlongLovesHerChristmasRobin]

That's worrying OP that you don't think she will end it.

How is she in herself, does she appear unhappy?

[TheDudesMum]

your poor dd. I'm so glad that she told you and knows you believe her. I know there are other posters who will have practical advice i am afraid i have none but i hope that she can see she needs to leave sooner rather than later.

[LaCiccolina]

Girls often don't realise this. Specially when it happens to them. Also speaking very personally, I amazed myself what I'd put up with from a bf at very young but would have happily beat up a stranger for attempting anything in a bar! The double standards can be confusing...

Can a friend of hers help u? I guess they aren't keen on him....? Be odd if it was just u.... She in college or anything? Be very careful not to alienate as u are very lucky she's talking presently. Means she knows its not right, which means ur lessons are her instinct which is good

Good luck.