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To want to run away and never see them again

(378 Posts)
SilverBaubles33 Wed 28-Nov-12 15:21:23

Briefly, the Alpha mums invited me for coffee and a get to know you after drop off today - there are a few of us new mums this term. The main Alpha has been really friendly, but is constantly putting herself down and comparing herself to me - I used to have a quite high-powered job, she's a bit tubby, my DDs are on a scholarship etc, and making unfavourable comments. I don't know why she needs to do it as on the face of things she's really popular, has a gorgeous house, lovely dcs, kind husband, she's thoughtful and generous etc.

Anyway, we all turned up for coffee and one of the other mums is from Holland where I used to live, so we started chatting in Dutch. I went to find the loo and Alpha was in the kitchen crying with about four friends, saying that I had ruined her coffee morning, I was an effing bitch, she wished she's never invited me etc.

They saw me in the doorway and Alpha said sorry, not having a great week, and the friends basically asked me to leave.

I asked, is it cos I spoke Dutch, sort of laughing because I thought it must be a joke or something and they said, she can't really deal with you, she feels you're always competing with her etc etc.

I am beyond embarrassed about the whole thing. I just went red and left like they asked me to. My husband said I should laugh it off but I rally don't want to see any of them again and we've got school stuff coming up in the next few weeks, I feel really sick and I've been worrying about it all day.

Should I call her? pretend it didn't happen? Speak to one of her friends? I've never come across this sort of thing before, am I BU or is she and how should I react?

PickledInAPearTree Mon 03-Dec-12 17:20:26

Crying in your own coffee because someone spoke a bit of Dutch!


stormy week was your lady the one with the teeth? That thread was immense.

EldritchCleavage Mon 03-Dec-12 15:23:14

Gosh I feel sorry for loony Mum's daughter though. Wonder if the daughter had to face tears and recriminations when she told her mother she'd lost her place in the side?

LaQueen Mon 03-Dec-12 13:31:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CoteDAzur Mon 03-Dec-12 13:02:29

She is crazy. How exactly does your DD playing in a position she coveted for her DD ruin her coffee morning? hmm

EldritchCleavage Mon 03-Dec-12 11:36:34

Agree with LaQueen.

And *NewVenture, I think OP has explained that 'tubby' etc were not things she said or thought about the other mother, but things the other mother habitually said about herself.

Notafoodbabyanymore Sun 02-Dec-12 14:42:52

This thread has made me laugh, but it took so long to read that I missed all the cake. sad

Her explanation is stupid and she needs to grow up and get a life.

OP, steer clear!

MyNewVenture Sun 02-Dec-12 13:10:22

Few of OP's posts ring true to me - sounds like she is still digging her way out of the 'tubby' type comments in the OP. [Hmm]

Screaminabdabs Sun 02-Dec-12 10:56:05

Hell, yes; there's a film waiting to be made. Mean girls grow up to be mummies...

Newshoesplease Sun 02-Dec-12 10:40:31

This sounds like a synopsis for "mean girls: the mums edition". grin

SugaricePlumFairy Sun 02-Dec-12 10:37:27

She is clearly as mad as a box of frogs! grin.

She probably has a list of her dd's competition pinned on her notice board with plans to exterminate them if they get in the way of her dd's path to the top! grin.

Steer clear at all costs!

LaQueen Sun 02-Dec-12 10:21:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LaQueen Sun 02-Dec-12 10:19:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZZZenAgain Sun 02-Dec-12 09:32:31

actually when I said I would give her another chance, I think I was not telling the truth. I would greet her in a friendly fashion - and move away fast. I don't think I would really be giving her another chance, she sounds too unstable for my taste, I think she would be strenuous to be around.

MrsWembley Sat 01-Dec-12 18:31:34

Well, there's a big fat 'ohhhhhhh' coming from me.

Still think she's nuts, mind.


I was at a little girl's birthday party this afternoon, where at least half the room spoke Portuguese. And do you know what - no-one got upset at me for only speaking English...

Screaminabdabs Sat 01-Dec-12 15:16:37

Rather agree with Aboutlastnight.

Wait till both dds apply to the same Oxford college......grin Oh, I can't wait. Of course, top performance in sport wil matter...

SilverBaubles33 Sat 01-Dec-12 15:16:05

Yes, I think that is all it was! I watched her watching the match today, she was up and down the line, shouting and coaching, I was exhausted watching her! Another girl told my daughter she's been like that since they were six and the other parents can't say anything because she's so 'supportive' of the school sporting teams.


She said she was sure that I'd done it and in her words 'worked myself into a state' before her coffee thing and the Dutch thing was the last straw.

All the other stuff is in her head.

Our husbands had a great laugh though and have arranged to go for a pint over Christmas.

Holy fuck

BegoniaBampot Sat 01-Dec-12 14:58:34

Hate the angst of kid's sports and all that guff. Never thought I'd ever be the kind of mum that could take offence and get my knickers in a twist over my kids sporting activities - did they get picked for the team, is the coach being a cunt, did they get sidelined etc. It's a minefield I tell ya! Why did they never warn us about this when we signed little Johhny up for footie when he was 4yrs.

ZZZenAgain Sat 01-Dec-12 14:54:35

she is a bit whacky but she is not a bad egg. It is hard not to get upset when your dc are upset. I suppose she had invited you to the coffee morning before her dd found out about the change of position and she was all wound up and tense before you got there, wondering how she was going to handle you.

I would give her another chance but at an arm's length

Is everyone else looking for an opportunity to use klootzsak?!

Katisha Sat 01-Dec-12 13:58:35

Do you think it really is that or is it the best she can come up with to explain her bizarre behaviour at the coffee morning?

AlienRefluxLooksLikeSnow Sat 01-Dec-12 13:44:30

Blimey, tears, ruined coffee mornings, and all for that, yes, she is barking, keep a distance!

Aboutlastnight Sat 01-Dec-12 13:42:36

GreenEggsAndNichts Sat 01-Dec-12 13:27:50

Well. That answers that.

It does show you that that is how she handles that sort of situation, though. Definitely into drama queen category. Tolerable in small doses but probably best kept at arms length. smile

SilverBaubles33 Sat 01-Dec-12 12:34:40

Hello all,

So I went to the match and A caught me in the car park and asked if she could speak to me. It turns out that the head of games had put one of my girls in her daughter's position for a match last week and her child had been very upset about it and so had she.

That was it!

All that worry and all those words on here (though it was a funny conversation).

Anyway, she said she was sorry about how she'd behaved and I said I was sorry she'd been upset and thought better not to mention the pooing and clunge kicking and all the other fun we've had.

She thought that I had somehow engineered this change, and was a bit surprised when I told her I wasn't even sure what position my daughter plays (they are almost 16, FFS) and that I was completely unaware of it. Also turns out she'd played this sport in her youth and regretted having to give it up, I wan't very surprised to hear that, but am also keeping a sensible distance from all that unresolved angst.

The head of games said that she was going to leave my daughter in that position and I asked her to please let A know personally, so at least if she takes it badly, she can do so at the correct person!

All very odd indeed, but at least I can stop wondering what I did. And thank you all once again, really! I will go back to reading the book and cooking threads now and think about going freelance as light relief!!!

Lovely, cold, sunny weekends to you all!

Buddhastic Sat 01-Dec-12 12:18:50

Aaah Klootzak is 'bawbag' in Scots. I'll use that grin

Proudnscaryvirginmary Sat 01-Dec-12 10:03:45

Ha ha!! Touche!

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