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to assume dp will have the (ahem) wet patch in the bed...?

(209 Posts)
lottie63 Wed 28-Nov-12 00:32:05

Just that really. He always expects ME to sleep in it. Sometimes I would just like him to say 'Don t worry. You have the dry half'..

MrsWolowitz Wed 28-Nov-12 07:40:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DrinkFeckArseGirls Wed 28-Nov-12 07:43:49

I hope you have a mattress cover underneath your sheet. hmm

AnyFuckingDude Wed 28-Nov-12 07:44:12

You should always empty your bladder after penetrative sex anyway....have a good mop-up while you're at it. Problem solved.

AntoinetteCosway Wed 28-Nov-12 07:45:04

Never a wet patch if you just go to the loo immediately afterwards. Stops you getting cystitis too.

unexpectediteminbaggingarea Wed 28-Nov-12 07:51:46

when we weren't using condoms it was straight to the toilet afterwards. the whole business is disgusting.

honeytea Wed 28-Nov-12 07:56:15

I think going to the loo after is a good solution. When TTC you should try and keep it in though, so I used DP's pillow under my bum (poor man.)

Shodan Wed 28-Nov-12 07:56:57

YY. Dash for the loo.

DH has always done this and I must admit I found it a bit peculiar at first. Now I'm just grateful.

poorbuthappy Wed 28-Nov-12 07:58:08

Sex towel.

(now that takes me back grin)

TheDoctrineOfSnatch Wed 28-Nov-12 07:59:40

Two boxes of tissues, one each side of the bed. Shuffle and grab if you've ended up in the middle.

Bertrude Wed 28-Nov-12 08:16:20

I thought everyone just had a box of sex tissues near the bed to shove up there (well, not up but you know what I mean) afterwards?

And I didn't know about the weeing to prevent cystitis afterwards - I just do to get rid of the tissues and because I need a wee.

Youcanringmybell Wed 28-Nov-12 08:39:00

Woah - way to kill a mood...
'put hand over vag and run for the loo' grin

Sometimes a little wet patch happens. Tis life. No big deal but You should try and get him to finish on his side of the bed and no problem.

FlamingoBingo Wed 28-Nov-12 08:40:34

Sex towels (old terry nappies), the clearly famous shuffle-and-grab technique, and then off to the loo for drainage...of course!

ItsAllGoingToBeFine Wed 28-Nov-12 08:42:20

Doesn't the wet patch happen when you lie there in post coital bliss, cuddling and snuggling.

RatherBeOnThePiste Wed 28-Nov-12 08:46:50

Finish on his side wine
Otherwise shuffle to the edge of the bed, hanging on, pop to the loo

fluffyraggies Wed 28-Nov-12 08:52:05

I don't get the wet patch till much much later in the night confused <wonders if i have particularly good suction up there grin >

By then i'm way too sleepy to do much about it.

I have a clean up in the morning. The sheets get changed twice a week. Now i think about it I dont mind the wet patch actually. Why am i thinking about this at 10 to 9 on a Wednesday? grin

fanjoforthemammaries7850 Wed 28-Nov-12 09:12:50

Could change the sheet?

Is that too boring blush

purplecrayon Wed 28-Nov-12 09:16:00


Get a big bed and fuck in the middle.


MacaroniAndWalnut Wed 28-Nov-12 09:19:30

But the wet patch follows me

You can complete in his side. Shuffle into your own. 10 minutes later it's you who has created the wet patch

badtasteflump Wed 28-Nov-12 09:20:24

Can't you just make sure you do the business on his side of the bed?

HecatePropylaea Wed 28-Nov-12 09:21:25

stick a towel down and do it on that.

But yes. I have always wondered why so many men expect that.

Yes, my woman, I have just rocked your world. Now. Lay thee down in the product of my manly loins to honour me for I bring forth much seed and the patch is wide, a testament to my virility. I will rest and presently shall go out and hunt buffalo.

Toilet paper anyone?

My DH always goes off to get me some loo roll, it's like a ritual.

These bloody films where they have been at it for ages and them go to sleep all spooned up and never see them in a frantic rush for the loo roll or them trying to avoid the wet patch. Wonder what their secret is hmm

InNeedOfBrandy Wed 28-Nov-12 09:24:01

Um why are you all always on the bottom for it to fall out? I love a good ride cow girl style.

MacaroniAndWalnut Wed 28-Nov-12 09:26:58

Because it doesn't come out straight away does it? It trickles, slowly over the next bloody day hour

InNeedOfBrandy Wed 28-Nov-12 09:29:19

No you get off and go for a wee straight away so no trickling out, and I have a fanjo that sucks water up in the bath and whoohes out after.

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