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WIBU to hand my friend the dustpan and brush...

(94 Posts)
blondiedollface Tue 27-Nov-12 14:37:17

Ok, to give me some perspective just want to ask the MN jury this...

A friend came round a couple of weeks ago and gave lunch to her DD 31 weeks - a blw lunch of broccoli and tomato. Didn't ask if it was ok but we have wooden floors so I didn't mind too much thinking there would only be a tiny bit going on the floor, obviously it went EVERYWHERE completely covering my dining room floor, she looked very perplexed when after sorting her DD she just sat down and carried on drinking her tea. I got out the dustpan and brush and said d oyou want to use these? She hadn't offered to clean up, nor asked for anything to clean with, nor said I'll do it in a minute.

She hasn't been round since, nor has she initiated texts to meet, up until this point it was a weekly meet since my DD was newborn. Was this rude of me? I would fully expect to clear up DD's mess if she made any at someone elses house so didn't think this was out of the ordinary, but seems she may have taken offence...

I'm not overly fussed as if she'd left the mess without offering I probably wouldn't have been best pleased and not text her - but AIBU?? Really?

wewereherefirst Tue 27-Nov-12 16:22:43

Am I the only parent of a BLW baby who eats EVERYTHING?! There's only the odd grain of rice/pea on the floor here. Bananas are eaten in seconds with no mess.

But YANBU, a friend doesn't create more work for you.

WhenShallWeThreeKingsMeetAgain Tue 27-Nov-12 16:25:03

I didn't get past 31 weeks - still trying to work it out into something understandable !!!

Viviennemary Tue 27-Nov-12 16:25:49

She was cheeky to leave a mess. But I wouldn't ask a visitor to sweep up. But I don't think I'd been keen to invite them again if they made a huge mess and didn't at least offer to sweep up. Most people wouldn't let a baby chuck food around in somebody else's house.

pigletmania Tue 27-Nov-12 16:32:47

YANBU at all, she was very rude to not ask you, on suggestion that she cleaned it up did not, you are not her save, wiuld she do that in her own house? I wld not worry about her tbh

blondiedollface Tue 27-Nov-12 16:33:01

'But if I understand correctly, your friend cleaned your high chair after her baby had eaten. Then you handed her a brush & dustpan to use and asked 'do you want to use these?''

You misunderstood, she had brought her own high chair and cleaned the mess from that onto the floor.

lottiegarbanzo Tue 27-Nov-12 16:35:01

Ha ha ha, broccoli offers spectacular floor coverage. No yoghurt or anything sticky?

I wouldn't think of expecting to be able to feed dd out anywhere, certainly not without putting newspaper down or taking a plastic sheet with me.

But, while I see your point, I'd only be able to do this or accept this from a very close friend. I would have cleaned up myself and hoped for an offer of help. I might have commented on the spectacular effects of BLW.

WilsonFrickett Tue 27-Nov-12 16:35:37

It's just a bit of broccoli and a bit of tomato though, isn't it? what am I missing here?

OneMoreChap Tue 27-Nov-12 16:37:39

blondiedollface Tue 27-Nov-12 16:33:01
You misunderstood, she had brought her own high chair and cleaned the mess from that onto the floor.


I would have told her to FOTTOSOFATFOSM

Violet77 Tue 27-Nov-12 16:39:28

I always cleaned up at friends houses when blw but i don't think i would have given her a brush. ( seems a bit rude, agressive even)

Dogs are your best friend when blw :-)

Chill out a bit, you have probably made her feel very small. With children there are lots of occassions when they make mess or break things or hit one another. It cuts both ways and being a bit relaxed is a good thing.

threesocksmorgan Tue 27-Nov-12 16:42:57

yanbu she was rude

Theicingontop Tue 27-Nov-12 16:48:15

YABU, I would be absolutely mortified. Though I would (and always do) offer to clean up my DS' mess, it's really rude of you to pointedly hand her the dustpan. Friends don't do that.

MadBanners Tue 27-Nov-12 16:57:22

It was rude of her to not clean it up, but then I think it was equally rude of you to make her. I think! confused

If I was the homeowner, and they had not offered I would have done it and maybe thought them a touch rude, but if they had offered I would have refused and done it myself anyway! So the visitor would never have done it in either situation.

BeauNeidel Tue 27-Nov-12 17:00:38

YANBU about the mess.

YABU about using 31 weeks.

Molepomandmistletoe Tue 27-Nov-12 17:09:08


blondiedollface Tue 27-Nov-12 19:43:56

WTF what?

SlightlySuperiorPeasant Tue 27-Nov-12 19:47:50

YWNBU. Crumb trails and the odd raisin are par for the course but I wouldn't dream of not clearing up after my DC if they made a mess at someone else's house. And yes I do clean up after DS in restaurants, why wouldn't I? confused

Tryharder Tue 27-Nov-12 19:53:20

She should have offered to clean up the mess. But you were unspeakably rude to give her the dustpan and brush. Talk about passive-aggressive.

cumfy Tue 27-Nov-12 20:12:31

So you're well rid

You're right she should have offered but you do come across as being a bit PA:
Why not offer the dust pan whilst she's just finishing off the wiping ?

Decoding her response:
Well thanks but you could have offered me the dustpan earlier --- couldn't you ?

hurricanewyn Tue 27-Nov-12 20:17:12

D'you know what? I'd have been fine about cleaning the baby mess up until the point where Friend used your floor as a dustbin and swept the food onto the floor from her highchair. The cheek of her.


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