To think my mother was rude?

[footflapper]

My ds (2yo) has recently been poorly with a cold & then ended up quite spotty which the gp told me was a post viral infection. We both pick up germs quite easily, which is quite normal in most households..
This time last year he picked up that nasty hand, foot and mouth virus.
Anyhow on the phone to my mother last night & she said she cant understand why ds is always so ill, it didn't happen when bro, sis & I were young, maybe I should clean my house more.
When ds picked up hand, foot and mouth last year she told me to stop taking him to his toddler groups as there's obviously 'chavvy types' infecting everyone with there germs (her words, not mine)
On another occasion I was on the phone to her & ds was crying loudly as it was his bedtime, apparently she didn't sleep all night through worry! I told her ALL children cry when they're tired, why be so over sensitive
She's said a lot more daft stuff, too long to list!
I really do need to say to her 'Do you mean to be so rude' don't I??

[ll31]

smile and ignore

[gobbin]

Ask her if she'd like employment as your cleaner as it's obviously not up to her standards and she's clearly short of something to do if she's got time to criticise!

[WinklyVersusTheZombies]

She needs to get a grip! Clearly she has an easy life if a 2yo crying when tired even registers, beyond 'so glad that isn't my problem'

Anyway everyone knows its children in clean houses that pick up bugs, the ones in dirty houses quickly build up immunities to everything including the Black Death

[ratspeaker]

She must have a very short memory especially when it comes to a tired child crying!

[footflapper]

ratspeaker I totally agree with you, the few times I have actually asked for her advice she always says she cant remember!!!
I remember having tonsilitis loads when I was younger, I had them taken out when I was about 9yo. I also remember having mouth ulcers a lot too.
My Dbro had pneumonia & had to stay to stay in his room for weeks.
Dsis had awful eczema!
Bloody woman!

[Whocansay]

My mother is a bit like this. She chooses what she wants to remember according to the situation. According to her, all of her five children were never ill, were potty trained by 18 months and could read by 3 yrs. Yeah, right. She was the perfect mother, naturally. Strangely, neither me or any of my siblings remember this idyll that she has created. I usually just laugh at her now. Smile and nod.

[footflapper]

Oh yes, & I remember finding it hard to get to sleep at night because of a horrible itchy cough caused by her precious Embassy No 1's!
Guess what, she's a non smoker now..

[Kalisi]

This is probably completely wrong but IME the children with 'dirtier' not sanitised to death houses do usually have a fair number of bugs/colds as babies but it then seems to get out of their systems and they are rarely sick as they grow. My DS has had a few bugs in his time picked up from other children etc but now he rarely gets anything and when he does it only lasts a day. I'll be throwing a chicken pox party when I can

[ginslinger]

I believe the muckier the house the more chance of the DCs picking up some decent antibodies. Obviously I don't mean anything rancid but a good bit of dirt never harmed.

(not suggested that your house is at all mucky)

[Themumsnot]

I remember my mum being on the phone complaining about something my brother had done/failed to do a couple of years ago.
I told her to cut him some slack as he had a newborn and toddler so things were obviously stressful.
She replied that she couldn't understand why that should be stressful, she had never felt stressed when we were little, parents should always feel really happy or they are not doing it right.
Believe me, that was rewriting history in a VERY big way. I got off the phone pronto before my shock subsided enough to say so.
My take on it: you can say anything you like but you won't change her version of reality. Smile and nod.

[plutocrap]

One has to be careful about getting too complacent about not cleaning a house, as dust mites are something that can wear down, rather than build up, an allergic/ asthmatic child.

I admit that with great regret, though, as I'm a terrible slattern.

Just don't tell your mother!