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to think mil was being miserable

(34 Posts)
mamamibbo Sun 25-Nov-12 23:24:28

ive got 4 children and ive got them around 15 presents each for christmas that mil knows about she offered to store them in her spare room so the children didnt find them, we wont be doing this again btw

she was telling her sister today when we were there how disgusting it is how much ive bought them, bloody stupid it is, they can only play with one at once.. shes obviously never seen a toddler in a pirate costume, wearing a tool belt full of cars riding a bike while pulling a wheelbarrow

is she just being miserable?
she insisted we put them there btw, so she could nosy i didnt ask her

WorraLiberty Sun 25-Nov-12 23:26:31

Who cares?

Are you happy with your choices?

mamamibbo Sun 25-Nov-12 23:28:44

yep, ive got some stored here aswell lol

she was banging on about how disgusting and terrible and stupid it was and i did wonder tho

pigletmania Sun 25-Nov-12 23:30:06

Gosh tad a lot, your MIL has a point, but it's up to you what you get your kids

McChristmasPants2012 Sun 25-Nov-12 23:35:23

your mil has a point, is this a bragging thread 15 presents each = 60 presents.

way ott imo

leeloo1 Sun 25-Nov-12 23:36:34

Could you afford what you bought (without relying on credit)?

Will your children genuinely enjoy and appreciate what you bought them?

If yes to the above two questions, then she IBU, otherwise you are.

squeakytoy Sun 25-Nov-12 23:38:47

I would imagine 60 presents looks like a ridiculously huge amount..

BackforGood Sun 25-Nov-12 23:39:21

I think she's got a point. I suppose it depends on how wealthy you are and if you are fine with them growing up expecting that many presents from you each Christmas, but it seems OTT to me too.

CSIJanner Sun 25-Nov-12 23:44:38

Hang on - OP might be including little things that go in the stocking. her money, her budgeting, her choice on what to spend on.

I have a budget for everyone and an idea of what to buy. And the I shop around and pretty much keep to budget. if I counted what I've bought for LO's as pressies and as stocking fillers, I might hit that mark as well. A missing Hawkins Bizzar though as you could get bouncy balls, flying foam fairies and bubble mix for less than 50p each sad

As for MIL, it's none of her business what you've spent unless you're in dire straights, she's been listening to your woes and has been keeping you afloat with loans? If the latter, YABU. if not, then your MIL most definately is BU.

GhostShip Sun 25-Nov-12 23:46:19

I've got DP ten things. Can't imagine what I'll be like when I have kids..

YANBU

madmen Sun 25-Nov-12 23:47:47

Depends what they are, surely? If it was a bike, iPad, Xbox, video games etc then it would be a lot. If it's a book, a Mr. Potato Head, a soft toy etc etc then it would be totally different.

seeker Sun 25-Nov-12 23:51:54

You've all forgotten the mumsnet rules. If it's a MIL then she's wrong.

Your children your rules, OP!

bondigidum Sun 25-Nov-12 23:55:16

15 presents per child is a lot?! I think that sounds about right..

Anyhoo mil is bu. Totally none of her business how much you buy your kids whether they're stored at hers or not.

akaemmafrost Mon 26-Nov-12 00:00:57

I think it's completely up to you what YOU spend on YOUR dc for Christmas and it's no body else's bees wax.

birthdaypanic Mon 26-Nov-12 00:04:35

Think MIL is bu. I always bought about 15 for my dd's not as many now they are grown up with their own children, but do buy that many for dgc.
My children always knew Christmas was when they got pretty much everything they asked for, spolit - maybe, I dont think so - as they knew not to expect anything through the year, this is how I was brought up as well.

beansmum Mon 26-Nov-12 00:11:14

I have no money and ds probably gets more than 15 presents.That's including little things like chocolate, stickers etc, and a couple of big things that I've saved up for. It's not necessarily OTT provided you can afford it.

And anyway, it's nothing to do with your MIL, unless you owe her money.

Narked Mon 26-Nov-12 00:12:24

Really, it doesn't matter if you've bought them a diamond encrusted scooter each. She pushed you to leave the gifts at her home for safekeeping and then - having had a good look and presumably counted them hmm - criticised you in front of her sister. It's rude.

If they do add up to a good amount, make sure they are covered on her household insurance (or through the card you bought them with) just in case.

cloggs142 Mon 26-Nov-12 00:18:45

your kids your rules. i bought ds a great big wooden kitchen that will probably not even fit in my house :P saying that, i agree with what a few people have said.....regarding if you can afford it without going into debt etc. i love to spoil my ds ( to a point, dont want him expecting to click his fingers n automatically get what he wants) but if i couldnt afford something, id try to find a cheaper option or failing that, he wouldnt get it! But christmas is about a big heap of pressies under the tree...thats how i was bought up and i love it. Ur mil needs to but out. bloody humbug! :P

HeadfirstForAMistletoeKiss Mon 26-Nov-12 01:27:28

My 9 and 10 year old are having a tablet each for Christmas, the 7 year old a 3ds, and the 5 year old a dsi xl. (not something I would have bought for my eldest at this age, but he is painfully aware when he is the only one "missing out" ). We can afford these this year (for a change) and they only get gifts at Christmas and birthdays, we don't lavish them with stuff.

My mil is like yours. I will sadistically enjoy her battling not to show the disapproval on her face Christmas day grin

I do love my mil really, she is a loving nana, but she is still stuck in the WW2 way of thinking that if a child gets a satsuma and nuts in their stocking they are spoiled grin

It's just a difference of opinion, keep a big smile on, show her lots of pictures of the dc enjoying their presents and don't sweat it.

WelshMaenad Mon 26-Nov-12 02:21:41

Depends what they are though, surely? I think my two have about 15 each from DH and I but that includes little things like Moshi Monsters shower gel and a tiny Hello Kitty coin purse and some little Thomas the Tank squeezy things for the bath, as well as bigger things.

Also depends on whether the children receive gifts from other people. Lots of people's DCs get gifts from wider family but I know at least one family where parent presents are the only things they get, so 15 is not that excessive.

Basically, your family, your call. Isn't it? confused

piprabbit Mon 26-Nov-12 02:30:23

My DCs generally get 15 presents just in their stockings, there will another 10-15 in their sacks. Most of the presents are small (25p notebook, a packet of Haribo) some are essentials which are family tradition to get for Xmas (new toothbrush, a pair of pants), some will be second hand or homemade and one or two will be a bit more expensive.

I don't think the number is the issue here - I think it is the MIL gossiping and judging the OP purely to make herself feel smug and important.

MollyMurphy Mon 26-Nov-12 03:34:37

Who's cares what OP bought? Her MIL is incredibly rude to comment especially as its none of her business.

my MIL does this too albeit in a more passive aggressive manner.....she won't buy our son toys for b-days or Christmas because she feels he has too many. She is just sour grapes IMO and I ignore her outright.

RobotLover68 Mon 26-Nov-12 07:03:12

Also depends on whether the children receive gifts from other people. Lots of people's DCs get gifts from wider family but I know at least one family where parent presents are the only things they get, so 15 is not that excessive

Our family is like this - my kids have about 15 things each but they don't get anything from others and they don't get anything between birthdays and Christmas

OP YANBU - don't store your stuff there again even if she insists

WankbadgersBreakfast Mon 26-Nov-12 07:48:34

DD so far has 4 presents...but only because I've seen what my mum has got for her so far envy I never got that many.

YANBU, op. If you can afford it, go for it. MIL is a drongo.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Mon 26-Nov-12 07:55:11

Overreaction from your MIL! However, how long have you known her? Only wondering if she's ever given an inkling of these sorts of feelings towards extravagance. And if she has, why let her see how much stuff you've got your DC?

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